All posts by amandaflaker

Channel the Reality You Prefer

A lot of fear is being pumped into the media right now, and many empathsEmpaths take back power are tuning into that energy. Remember, we are POWERFUL frequency transmitters (feeling is our expertise) so whatever energy we are tuning-in to will dominate us in powerful ways. But we get to choose what we we transmit.

Just because there is a lot of pain/suffering (and fear) being broadcast right now, does not mean we are subject to it. Feeling awful does not “help” anyone who is suffering. In fact, by participating in the reality of fear/suffering, we ADD to that frequency (we don’t lessen it).

Compassion is key. So start by giving it to yourself. What do you need to give yourself in order to release anything that may be causing you suffering? Give it to yourself, and then consciously tune-in to the reality you PREFER. There are millions (trillions) of beautiful acts of love being demonstrated, and people thriving. That is a a reality too. Which reality gives you more energy to love and be present? Which energy serves you? Which energy benefits the collective? Which energy provides  creative SOLUTIONS? What you choose to tune-into holds a POWERFUL vibration for everyone around you. So choose wisely.

Here is an excerpt from the “Empathic Communication” class that I thought I would share (as I know many of us are in the process of making up our minds as to which reality we want to allow into our sphere).

PS. This class is still available

Empaths: Time to Work Your Magic


It’s been an INTENSE energetic storm this past week. How are y’all doing?I know we’re feeling the effects in different ways, but it’s important to remember that YOU are the touch point for your vibrational signal. Ask yourself what will wake you up, what will help you feel more engaged and alive, and go do that. Don’t shut down. Don’t give way to fear. Don’t believe the lie that you are powerless. In fact, it’s times like this we get to experience just how powerful we are.

Regardless of what anyone around you is feeling, it’s important that you get clear about how you feel and what you need, so you can get in vibrational alignment and hold that space of harmonization and flow.

The more of us that choose to hold space of acceptance with what is noseparation(which means radical acceptance of ourselves), the more smooth this transition will feel. Hold strong. The vibration of harmony is only as strong as we allow ourselves to be present with where we’re authentically at.

Don’t bypass how you feel, or even allow it to be “out there” (believing you are a victim to what others are feeling) — feel it deeply. You are everyone. Now is not the time to be in the “us vs them” mentality or to see anything as separate from you. Let’s embrace our connection and then strongly take care of ourselves so we can powerfully radiate that vibe to the world. We can feel. We can be present to pain and loss, without allowing it to overtake us or become our story.

Let’s embody the validation and love we want the world to receive at this time. We have to receive it first. If we want to give that kind of acceptance, healing, love, and grace to the world, we must experience it ourselves first. We have to authentically know we can feel and love and embrace and accept and stay powerfully present, even in the face of things we don’t like to look at.

DON’T BYPASS HOW YOU FEEL. But don’t feel like you need to take on the weight of the world. You are the touch point. Get in touch with the vibration you’re sending out right now. Is it fear? Hope? Hatred? Get present with where you are authentically resonating and work from there. THAT IS YOUR ONLY POWER. What is your intuition saying? Listen. Love. Embody. And then take action from that place of clarity. 

Embrace every emotion with open arms, let it be okay — let there be room for all aspects of you to simply BE. Then release what no longer serves your well-being and allow the soothing release of relief to fill your entire grid. This is how we hold the space for harmony. It starts with US. If we don’t take care/take charge of our vibration, we’ll be caught in the world’s shit storm and believe the lie that we are powerless to change anything.

Remember: your ability to feel IS YOUR SUPERPOWER! This is the time for you to shine! Work your magic.

Empathic Communication: Love is the Key

Empathic communication is all about trust. It’s trusting our emotional guidance system, and the Source we come from. But, Illusion of separatenessit’s also about trusting our HUMAN experience. Building the pathwork for empathic/telepathic communication (in other words, harmonizing the energies on this planet) is about listening, learning, observing, and feeling. The human is experiencing the greatest impact of every vibration we carry because it is the physical world — the physical body. From Source perspective, there is nothing but appreciation and love for what we, through our limited human perspective, go through. It’s up to us to communicate back (through our vibrational blueprint) what we would prefer — what is in more harmony.

It takes time, but once we’ve dissolved the old paradigm of punishment/reward and evolve into experience/consequence, it is much easier to not see ourselves, or “God” as an enemy we are in a power struggle with. Rather, we are allies, siftng through our human experience and learning how to hold the vibration that feels the most soothing/exciting/expanding to hold, while trusting that the Source guidance within us is always pointing North.

This week I’ve been housesitting/dogsitting a puppy who has not been trained. At first I felt like I was being punished, wondering what I did “wrong” to attract such a stressful experience. But after some trial and error (I’ve never trained a dog before, much less a totally wild puppy) I realized that she and I are just learning how to communicate. She’s looking to me to show her the boundaries of this dimension (in a way that keeps her safe, AND keeps her spirit alive) and I’m learning how to communicate my needs to her. When I tried to be her “god” (and overpower her) it didn’t work — the situation turned into a power struggle. But once I began (energetically) communicating to her that I am her ally, and that it is her decision to jump on the couch, jump on me, bite, etc., that is the problem (not her) we started having clear communication. She began to trust my guidance more.

Of course, because she’s so young, the communication looks like immediately removing her from the situation (without shaming her) and putting her in her kennel. Before I would say “bad dog” but I could feel, on some level, how soul crushing that was energetically, because it was the energy of shame directed toward her most basic instinct (and personality) which is to PLAY.

I realized, of course, how much I’ve done that to my own inner-child, and how much my dad did the shame game with me. I choose to stop that energy and redirect it toward energy that builds, not destroys.

Wow. Who would have thought an experience with a dog could teach me so much? And the most amazing part of the experience is how GROUNDED this dog keeps me, because with a puppy, you have no choice but to be entirely in the moment. This has always been the most complicated piece of my self-love journey: how to stay present in the moment AND be aware of my needs/meet them (my past tendency was always to dissociate).

Empathic communication is the communion between our sense of personal power, and the heart, and we’re learning to smooth out that transmission. Let’s move out of the shame/guilt/punishment paradigm and begin to see our emotions, our sensitivities, our “higher self” and our human experience as an ally that is only trying to give us the best experience possible, not an enemy to overcome or destroy

How is your week going?

Come Forward and Be Counted, You Are Precious Beyond Measure!

Today in the “Empathic Communication” class, we’re talking about embracing, loving, and learning from all versions of ourselves that show up in the “now.”

Often when we talk about “being the best you” or even “the most harmonic” version of ourselves, we simultaneously imply heartthat all other version are “wrong” or “bad” or “less than. The same applies to thoughts and emotions.

But as long as we are at war with ourselves, we can’t have peace. True integration is about acceptance, and true mastery is about unconditional love. It’s seeing every version of ourselves (every emotion, feeling, and thought) as VALID and useful. It may not be “true” (for example, if you’re feeling worthless), but the feeling is VALID, because it’s trying to tell you something about what you need: more self-love.

So today, I challenge you to embrace every version of yourself that shows up. Listen to it, validate it, forgive it, and release judgement.

Then open your heart, and like the sunflower, turn it toward the light. Keep pushing your heart forward (the ‘kingdom’ is advancing) to make love to this physical dimension. The illusion will reflect back to you the same acceptance/love/freedom/joy, and ease that you give yourself.

Come forward and be counted, every version of you! You’re needed, you’re valid, you’re precious beyond measure…every single one of you!

Happy Thursday!

*The “Empathic Communication class is still available for registration. Come join the fun, love, and support! Check-out this welcome video to get an idea of what we’re diving into! 

A Letter from Source

How about this? Write a letter to yourself today from your “Higher Self.” What advice would the most objective/connected aspect of you give to soothe your fears? Smooth your vibe? Relax your tension in relation to the energy around you?

Here’s what came through from me:

“The best thing you can do for yourself in this moment is to relax, receive, laugh, love unconditionally – without fault-findingmoon nature or judgment. Release everyone, including yourself, from the need to be ‘right’ or worthy. You don’t need to justify your existence by your behavior.

Yes. Everything you think/feel/do has a consequence (produces a vibrational response that will be interpreted by you based on your judgment and beliefs) but you’re at a point in the game where you know YOU GET TO CHOOSE WHAT MEANING YOU WILL GIVE THE EXPERIENCE. Meaning is everything. It’s also nothing. Because it’s all subjective.

So don’t take yourself too seriously. Just breathe in-and-out and feel what it’s like to BE here. What does it mean to BE? This is a much more interesting question than ‘what do you know?’ or ‘how do you know?’ ‘what do you believe?’

Don’t you think?

Knowing is limited. Being is unending – eternal – unrestricted.
Feel the expanse of your being. Feel the great relief of opening yourself up to nothing and everything – the great sigh of being released from having to ‘know’ or believe, and simply exist in a space that is full of breathing poems. 

Language is too limited to express the great relief of Being. Being requires no explanation, no description, no creeds or beliefs. If you have to ‘believe’ in something you are simultaneously agreeing with its opposites. Belief only serves you if it brings expansion, life, relief. Let go of anything else. And keep growing.

Being includes no-being, for everything is contained in the space of nothingness. Feel the pleasure of that. There is no fear here. It is – beyond fear. Beyond hope. Beyond heaven, even. It is complete harmony with all that is.

Just Be and allow the I Am to continue its song to sing you Awake. Till the end of your days.” <3

Happy Fall Equinox: Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

We’re in the full swing of eclipse season/mercury retrograde, and today is the much anticipated Fall Equinox. fantasy tree

There’s been a lot of foreboding predictions about this month, everything from end-of-the-world scenarios to alien disclosure. But I’ve found that the more serious and stoic energy we put into energies like this, the more intense we feel (it’s one of those mass self-fulfilling prophetic creations) . For me, keeping it light is key. I choose to remember that this is all a game we’re playing — an illusion we’re co-creating simply for the joy of expansion and contrast. Why take it so seriously?

No doubt life can be intense, painful, and overwhelming. Belittling or minimizing the reality of hardship is futile, but putting all of our focus there is not necessarily constructive, either.

As subconscious programs (old beliefs/paradigms) come up to be cleared, visualizations work well for me — fire energyparticularly using fire energy. Maybe it’s all the Armageddon talk, but fire is so pure and transformative, that when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I like to imagine my entire auric field being cleansed by the blazing flames of cosmic energy. Rather than fear the transformation, use it!

We’re not alone! Collective energy is co-creating more harmony, which means we’re also shedding a lot of old crap. Let’s be vigilant about what we focus on. Don’t give attention to any thoughts that steal  peace. Just let it go. Take a deep breath, remember this is all for the joy of expansion, and don’t take life too seriously right now.

Happy Fall!

Upcoming class:

Empathic Communication

Other available classes:

How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath

Empathic Communication Online Class

For those who have taken my previous class “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath,” I am now releasing “Empathic noseparationCommunication” — the accumulation of everything we’ve worked up to.

In this class, we will be covering how empathic communication is a vibrational conversation with the Universe (and everything/everyone around us), why developing a greater sensitivity is more effective/powerful than shielding/protecting, and shutting down, and we’ll explore the implications of how empathic communication may be laying the ground work for telepathic communication.

(This video goes a bit further into my thoughts about this concept: 

In this pre-recorded, online class, we’ll cover:

*What it means to navigate the world with the emotional body (vibrationally), in our sensitivities 

*Gill activation (the concept of “breathing in” the emotional world — like breathing underwater)

*Trusting it’s safe for us to be sensitive in an energetically dense world

*Harmonizing the physical and the emotional body (and their close relationship with the sacral chakra)

*Using imagery, visualization, writing, and meditation to explore the “astral bodies” (our more subtle sensitivities)

*Symbolism and the subconscious mind (how symbols communicate to us vibrationally)

The class is meant to be a fun approach to our sensitivities, not something to take overly serious. These concepts have really helped me have more fun and thrive, rather than feel like being sensitive is something to “overcome” or merely cope with.

Hope you’ll join us!

The class is now open for PRE-REGISTRATION. All material/content will available through videos/audios to access at your own pace/convenience and will be emailed to you on October 11th. Everyone who pre-registers will be added to the private Facebook mentoring group where other members of the class share their questions, experience with the material, triumphs, and struggles. It’s a powerful support group and an excellent way to connect with other like-minded people.

To register for “Empathic Communication” complete purchase through the paypal button below. You will receive a confirmation email withing 24 hours:

Empathic Communication $33

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Spiritual Elitism: The Ultimate Bondage

A lot spirituality thinking in the past 2000 years seem to bear one thing in common: a distrust of the physical dimension. In holier than thouChristianity we are taught to “die to the flesh.” In Buddhism we’re told to “rise above” our desires — even snuff them out entirely. In many esoteric spiritual traditions “enlightened” gurus emphasize the spirit as our super hero and the “ego” as our enemy. And because we are programmed from birth to believe we are fundamentally flawed, we spend our lives seeking a way to perfect ourselves and be free from what we are: human.

Those of use who chose the religious or “spiritual” path became obsessed with a sort of moral competition. “Who is right?” “who is the most pure?” “who is the holiest of all?” “whose god is the most powerful?” We quickly devised a spiritual class system in which our worthiness was defined by what we deny ourselves, what we exclude ourselves from, and what we don’t do.

The problem with spiritual elitism is it only creates more separation. The “us” and “them” mentality has been brewing conflict for thousands of years, but we’re starting to wake-up and realize the “them” is us. We’re not better or more spiritual than someone else because we don’t eat meat or cooked food, or drink, or wear “immodest” clothing (or whatever rules we’ve created that we believe sets us apart from others). When our self-imposed rules and lifestyle become the guidelines by which we measure our goodness or judge others, we miss out on the point of it all: our hearts.

When we bury ourselves in rules and spiritual elitism, we kill the most precious gift of all: our ability to love, forgive, accept, Naked pastor2empathize, and embrace. All of these things come from the heart, and when we deny and punish ourselves for being human (in physical form), we kill our desires, and we harden our hearts. It’s no coincidence that some of the most “spiritually” moral, and religiously elite people are the least embracing, the least forgiving, the least empathic, and the most empty.

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, watch over the heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

Rather than measuring our goodness by what we deny ourselves and who we exclude, what if our goodness was expressed by what we embrace and who we include?

Freedom is precious. And far too many of use “spirituality” as prison to keep us from truly living life, from true communion with others, and from real intimacy with the Source we come from.

Yes, we want to make wise choices. But living on purpose in not an excuse to us set apart from others, it’s a tool to enjoy life to the full. The only reason to have a rule or restriction is to keep us safe. If we use our freedom to harm ourselves or others, it becomes a prison, but once we learn to use awareness and intention – once we deeply experience the true nature of this experience (that everything is connected, and we are all one), it can no longer be about “right” and “wrong,” saved and unsaved, “them” and “us” – but rather “how can I best harmonize/make peace and love all aspects of myself that are being reflected to me in this physical dimension?” Because everything we observe is an aspect of us, and an extension of Source. As soon as we make an enemy of the external, we make an enemy of ourselves. And we all know how that battle ends.

Why would we want to live life in a never-ending struggle with ourselves? Our “spirit” attempting to kill and deny our flesh inangel devil on shoulder a battle that doesn’t end until we die? And then we can pass on to the other side with pride, knowing we didn’t embrace life at all, but fought it every inch of the way, in order to not be “human”? What a sad life, indeed.

What if we practiced (submitting) to the lead of the ‘spirit’ and making love to the flesh (the physical experience)? Rather than making our “higher self” the close minded boss who takes no pleasure in the physical dimension and has a list of rules for us to follow in order to be ‘set apart’, what if we allowed our spirit to lead us into all things that bring joy – to open up and make love to this experience, and to declare this life ‘good.’ The trick is to live with AWARENESS and intention, making decisions from the perspective of oneness, connectivity, while remembering this is a dream we are continually creating with our thoughts and emotions. We are not victims of circumstance, we are products of our beliefs and programs.

When we begin to see everything in our environment as a gift; food, walks in nature, relationships with people, jobs — all of the physical dimension becomes an experience to be enjoyed and embraced (rather than denied and “overcome”). From this perspective, an intense shift of power occurs in the solar plexus, and a potent outpouring of our inner kingdom unfolds. It’s a wondrous experience, related to the idea of opening up, spreading out, and breathing-in the energy around (rather than shielding/protecting, and essentially seeing “others” as a negative influence on our holy, righteous living). It may sound radical to some. No doubt many will assume I’m suggesting leading a reckless life, over-indulging in every manner of pleasure. But that’s not what I’m saying at all.

Glutinous living comes from a lack mentality – a belief that we can’t have or don’t deserve pleasure, so we grab what we can because we don’t believe we’ll ever have the chance again – it’s the “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die” mentality. But when we realize that every good and perfect gift is meant for our enjoyment — is created for us in this life – that this experience is simply for the joy and expansion it will bring us, and there is more than enough pleasure and joy to go around, we suddenly release to need to over-consume, to make reckless decisions, and to fall asleep at the wheel of our life.

When we remember we are eternal beings and this “reality” is only one tiny fractal of the entire experience, when we realizeembracinglife there is more than enough life to be had, we suddenly slow down, we take our time, we want to savor every precious moment because we see what a gift we are being offered through this experience. It’s merely a shift in perception, but it’s a powerful one indeed.

Living a life of rules and obligations will never bring true freedom. Measuring our goodness by what we don’t do can’t bring the depth of relationship and intimacy our hearts long for. We must let go of a life of denial and rules in order to receive the abundance of living with a scandalously free heart. A heart that embraces ourselves and “the other” with true empathy, understanding, and love. Choose to be set free from the bondage of “religious” and spiritual elitism — that world will only ever separate us from our true selves. We are so much more than we ever imagined, and our lives are meant for greater things.

Be free.

How Are You Vibrationally Communicating to the Universe?

This week I have a challenge for us.

We live in a vibrational universe, right? And we’re vibrational begins. And as empaths, we just happen to be chakra balancevibrational linguists. So what if we decided to improve, sharpen, and hone our vibrational skills with OURSELVES this week? The term “empath” automatically conjures up associations with others. But, riddle me this: what is an empath by themselves?

The problem with even using the term “empath” is that it is limiting. It also implies we’re somehow different than other people. And while of course, it might be true to an extent, it is not fundamentally true, because we all come from the same Source. Hence why we have vibration. Vibration is the “true” essence of all things, including us, and even what we call being “empathic” is just a specific expression of vibration.

What if this week we chose to start an intentional/conscious vibrational dialogue with ourselves at regular intervals throughout the day? Set the timer on your phone if you have to, and at least every two hours do a vibrtaional check-in.

Ask yourself:

*Where am I vibrationally?
*What kind of vibration am I swimming in right now?
*Does it feel good to me? Do I feel dominantly negative or positive?
*How can I adjust my vibration?
*Am I breathing deeply?
*Is my energy expanding out, or shrinking in?


This is basically a way to see how our vibrational conversation with the Universe is going. The Universe is responding AT ALL TIMES to our vibration, and matching it, so it would behoove us to check-in on the conversation. This is more of “feeling” conversation than it is a logical one. And it’s a great opportunity to use our keen sensitivities and linguistic skills to converse consciously with the Universe.

I shared this challenge in my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath online class. I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.

Happy Monday!

3 Ways to Stay Balanced as an Empath

To have true authority and empowerment in our lives, it’s crucial to balance our masculine and feminine energies. Many empaths and highly sensitive people allow their energies to get extremely out of balance, being controlled by emotions and not allowing our more masculine energies to provide boundaries/structure.

Masculine energy is crucial to balance – especially for empaths and highly sensitive people, (or anyone who comes from an abusive background).

Here are 3 Tips to help balance these energies:

  1. Choose to take authority: A lot of us forget we have authority over our lives/actions/decisions. When we allow our yoda badassemotions or sensitivities to control us, we often feel at the mercy of external forces, but being highly sensitive is not an excuse to be lazy about our energy. Once we realize our thoughts/feelings/and emotions are creating and influencing the way we experience this reality, the more crucial it becomes to own our power. Direct and conscious force of will comes from our masculine energy, and it’s important to use our masculine energy to provide balance, structure, and boundaries for our creative, powerful feminine energy. We have authority to choose what we allow ourselves to feel and focus on. We have authority to choose how we will respond to the world around us. Claim that authority.
  1. Will peace and good things to flow into your life (don’t wait to FEEL them): So many of us (especially if we’ve been abused or are highly sensitive/empathic) grew up feeling as if we were at the mercy of everyone else’s will – like we had no will of our own. This alone is the root of most of our issues: our problem with co-dependency, our tendency to be led like sheep, allowing others to overpower us, and not seeing/allowing or acknowledging our strength to come forth. We have to choose to WILL things in our life, and not wait to feel like doing something – or wait to feel like we’re powerful. This is crucial if we are to truly be empowered. We can choose peace. We can will ourselves to be free from every whim of emotion. We can use our strength to WILL positive energies into our lives. When we make a firm decision to choose good things for us, our emotions/feelings will catch-up. Once we trust our will (or masculine energy) to choose what’s in our best interest, our more sensitive/creative side will learn to trust us and will be free to flow toward joy.
  1. Use your words wisely and with intention: How we speak and feel about ourselves determines (to an I AMastronomical proportion) whether we feel empowered and confident, or disempowered and weak. A lot of highly sensitive people (and empaths) refer to themselves in incredibly disempowering terms. Again, this typically stems from abuse, and we’ve learned to use our sensitivities/weakness as a way to get others to love us. Often, being “in need” or helpless, is the only way we experience the intimacy we so crave. We’ve had to learn this in order survive. But there comes a time when it no longer works. Eventually others tire of always having to rescue us, and we tire of being the weakest link. It’s time to take responsibility for our lives in every manor, and this includes how we speak about ourselves. Notice your self talk. Notice what you say after “I am” and how you describe yourself to others. If we continue to use words like “too sensitive” or “scared” or “overwhelmed” – we will never have freedom. Don’t use your sensitivities as an excuse to a victim.

Stepping into our power is stepping out of a victim vibration and into responsibility. We must do it with love and compassion, but do it, nonetheless. If we use our will and our authority over ourselves to demean, put down, and demonize our sensitivities, we will never be able to fully trust and ground into our strength – and our strength will never trust our emotional power. As long as we are at war with ourselves, our lives and relationships will continue to reflect the conflict.

Make peace with your masculine and feminine energy. See their mutual power and remember that one is always less without the other. Once we begin to trust our strength and our sensitivities, we will truly step into empowerment.

If you want to go deeper into learning about how to stay balanced/empowered/and healthy as an empath, check out the How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath online class.

When Helping is Destructive

This is one of the latest blogs I wrote for Modbod. I thought it pertained to empaths so I wanted to share it here as well:

When Helping is Destructive

The worst thing you can do for those you love is the things they could and should do themselves.” Abraham Lincoln

When someone we love struggles, we want to help. From an evolutionary standpoint, helping is our most basic instinct because in order for the group to survive, the individual must thrive.

At some point in each of our lives there comes a time when we need assistance. but what exactly is beneficial help and how can we discern when we’re giving it?

Here are 3 examples of beneficial help:

*Beneficial help does not foster dependence: Making anyone feel they need us Enablerfosters unhealthy dependence and ultimately impedes growth. As the old saying goes, “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” It is important to make sure our help actually empowers those we love to be self-sufficient and to trust in their own abilities.

*Beneficial help knows when to say no: Sometimes saying NO is the most helpful thing we can do for another. Offering to help when it only enables one to continue in unhealthy patterns is ultimately destructive. Refusing to enable another is the best form of help we can give, even if the one we refuse does not understand that we say no out of love.

*Beneficial help does not come from a place of guilt: If we feel guilt to help another, we aren’t doing them any favors – especially when the person we try to help is the one laying on the blame: “if you really loved me, you would do this for me.” If we constantly need to prove our love by what we do for another, it’s not help, it’s delaying their understanding of their own value by agreeing to their idea of conditional love.

It’s easy to feel overly responsible for helping others, but it is important to understand that often in our attempts to help, we make things worse. Sometimes in order for people to truly learn the lessons they are meant to learn, it is crucial they fall. If we are constantly rescued out of our problems and circumstances, we never get to see what we’re truly made of.

Empaths: Connect with Your Tribe!

A couple weeks ago I wrote an article titled: “Empaths Forgot Their Power” and within just a couple of hours, it had been shared over 4 thousand times on Facebook!

I knew I struck a cord when my inbox began flooding with people expressing a common theme: feeling alone and isolated soul familyas an empath and unable to truly understand themselves. That’s when I realized a deeper contact is asking to be made — a closer connection and a network needs to form that is more cohesive and supportive.

Currently, my “Empowering Empaths” online Facebook group has over 800 members, but only about 10 people who regularly post/share. Although I love the connection we’ve made and the fact that we’ve created a platform TO share and connect, I realize it’s just not as intimate and close as I’d like it to be. I still get a lot of people emailing me privately with their questions, rather than posting and sharing with the group.

So here’s what I’ve decided to do:

Along with my How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath online course, I am going to open a private mentoring group for all the people who have pre-registered. This group will be a place where we can EMPOWER and support each other on a more personal, intimate level. Not merely a place to post articles or talk about our problems, but a place where we can share our strengths, our practices, and even our triumphs, as well as get the encouragement we need when we’re feeling vulnerable and alone.

I will be posting videos regularly and opening up on a much deeper (and more personal) level about my life as well. My intention is to connect with the people who TRULY want to connect deeper, not just be an anonymous bystander who never particulates and is unwilling to to open up.

Empaths, we need each other. And not in the co-dependent, draining way we’re use to being needed, but for true empowered heartempowerment and courage. We need to know we’re not alone in our sensitivities, and that there are people who not only know how to ‘cope’ with their gifts, but THRIVE. We need to know we can consciously create an epic life with our thoughts and emotions, and that being sensitive actually gives us an advantage in the manifestation department – we only need to learn to consciously direct our focus and emotions on what we WANT to feel, rather than feel we are forced to swim in every emotion that comes our way.

There is so much more to living an empowered, empathic life that “shielding and protecting” and’ just doing your best to not get hurt’ don’t even touch on.  I’m so tired of that BS. We are a soul family and we have codes each other needs. Think of the Hundredth Monkey Effect — once one of us get the code for thriving and shows another how to do it, it can spread like wildfire. Think of how different life could feel if empaths were empowered!

If you are ready to go deeper and connect with your empath family on a more soulful level, you can join the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class and be added to my mentoring group for 2 months of free mentoring. Please don’t join if you’re going to be a passive participant — we need to hear/see/experience each other so we know we’re out there. Come with your whole heart. I look forward to connecting!

Happy Monday!

I talk a little bit about the group in this audio:

Click here to sign-up for the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class!

Empaths and Highly Sensitive People: Not the Same Thing (pt 2)

Last week I posted an article on some of the differences between empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP) which went viral in our little community.

Many people responded with comments like “It’s about time someone talked about this!” While others were a bit confused: “Wait. I was told I’m empathic, but now after reading this, I’m not so sure.”

In this audio I wanted to clear up any confusion, and expand again on some of the points I was attempting to make in the article.

Feel free to comment, like, question, or offer any feedback you have. Let’s keep the conversation going!

To dive deeper into your empathic abilities, check-out my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class!

Happy Monday!

Empaths vs. HSP (They’re Not the Same Thing)

The term empath and “highly sensitive person” often get lumped together, but they are not the same thing..

Most experts agree all empaths are highly sensitive, but not all highly sensitive people are empaths. Here’s the distinction:

A HSP is sensitive and primarily reactive to the energy around them. Dr. Elaine Aron, the originator of the term, defines it this way:

“A Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is tearsmore easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.”

While all empaths are highly sensitive to energy, the difference is in their ability to feel and perceive another person’s actual feelings. Empaths, therefore, are more extrasensory and possess at least one significant gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be in the emotional/mental/or physical body of another– literally feeling what the other is experiencing.

This is not to be confused with basic empathy. All humans have the ability to empathize (minus sociopaths, which is an inability to comprehend another’s emotions). Example: If a friend looses their child, most humans have the ability to empathize with the tragedy, even if they themselves have never experienced a significant loss. An empath, on the other hand, might literally feel what the friend is going through in their body – the anxiety, sadness, and emotional pain mimicking in the empaths system as if they themselves were directly experiencing the loss. If the friend has a headache from crying, the empath may develop a headache as well.

See the difference?

A highly sensitive person, on the other hand, may cry and feel overwhelmed by the idea of losing a child – but due to their sensitive nervous systems, a HSP (especially if they have unhealed emotional wounds from childhood) may go into a downward spiral, taking the friend’s tragedy and making it about them “I don’t want to live in this world anymore, it’s too hard.” At this point they are not in the friend’s emotional experience, but simply using the friend’s loss as an excuse to feel their own pain.

I’m not suggesting that all HSP misappropriate emotions, but MANY do. A HSP may be triggered by the energy around telepathy-672x372them, but from that point they remain in their own emotional body/nervous system, experiencing the world through the lens of their intensely emotional and reactive world. Because of this, HSP are often lost in how they feel, unable to have a direct experience of another person’s literal experience.

Both empaths and HSP often have a difficult time dealing with emotions, and having a highly sensitive nature does not automatically make us a saint (I’m going to talk about the dark side of empathic abilities in another article but for now, I want to focus on the dark side of HSP).

Because HSP are highly reactive to energy, they often project their extreme sensitivity onto others, assuming others feel what they themselves are merely projecting. Meanwhile, as they remain consumed by their emotionally reactive state, they often entirely miss what the other is feeling. They won’t even realize they’ve changed the focus to themselves and will often think they are simply validating the other person, when in reality, they are lost in their own reaction – incapable of even noticing they have changed the subject.

In my experience, HSP actually have a difficult time reading other people’s emotions accurately. While they are highly Harry Potter You dont understandattuned to subtle energy (maybe picking up from body movement that a person is uncomfortable or upset) they will often piece together a story in their head about WHY the person is acting the way they are, usually based on their own emotional state in the moment. Because they are highly sensitive/reactive, HSP often make huge assumptions about what other people feel, when in actuality, they’re merely projecting their own fears and insecurities.

Where empaths typically have a difficult time accessing how they themselves feel (due to being lost in other people’s energy/emotions), an unhealed/unskilled HSP is nearly incapable of separating their own emotions/sensitivities from others, especially if they are in an emotional trigger.

It is especially difficult for a HSP person to realize the extreme level to which they project if they THINK they are empathic. In fact, one of the worst combinations (in my experience) is when an unhealed/unskilled HSP believes they are empathic. Now their projection/misapplication of emotions is fueled with a belief that they are, in fact, accurate in their assumptions and even possess some special, extra sensory gift.

Aye, yi, yi.

I’m not suggesting empaths don’t project. We all project to an extent, especially when we’re triggered or insecure. But for HSP, projecting often becomes the main modality for protecting themselves from the world. If they can place the cause of their highly reactive natures “out there” somewhere, they feel less overwhelmed (it also keeps them from having to take responsibility for their own emotions/projections).

For the sake of our mental and emotional health, it is crucial we not only understand the difference between HSP and empaths, but properly identify where we are on the spectrum. As noted above, all empaths are highly sensitive in nature, so they may slip into reactive tendencies like projecting. But usually an empath has the opposite problem – rather than projecting their emotions out, they draw other people’s emotions in (and get lost in the process).

For an empath, an unhealed/unskilled HSP is often the most draining type of person to be around. The strong emotional projection and reactive nature of the HSP triggers an empath’s negative tendency to feel they must take care of the other person’s emotions. In fact, relationships between HSP and empaths can be the most co-dependent (if both parties are not skilled in dealing with their sensitivities), with the HSP constantly needing the empath to validate their intensely sensitive natures, and the empath feeling responsible for HSP feelings.

When an empath does take time away from the HSP (or begins to have boundaries), the unskilled HSP will take the action Fire and waterextremely personal, interpreting the act to be directly against them and often behaving in passive aggressive ways toward the empath. Because HSP reactions are so emotionally intense, the empath often feels the energetic aggression as psychic attack.

An empath, when feeling the energy of another, literally feels what the other feels (rather than simply noticing social dynamics, energy, or subtle body movements), so shaking off the negative projection of a HSP can be especially difficult for an empath.

While an HSP can be kind and compassionate, their emotional stance and energy is typically on the defense (self-protective mode), so if the person they are attempting to “help” says or does something that triggers them, they are unable to stay (empathically) with the other, and instead launch into their own emotional body/wounds/and triggers. In my experience, this is the KEY difference between empaths and HSP.

If you constantly feel hurt and offended by other people and take make their energy/decisions/words personal (to the point where it affects your mental/emotional peace) chances are you are a HSP.

The trick for a HSP is not to put a personal story to every movement in the world around you. It’s important to learn not only to deescalate reactions and validate how you feel, but also release the storyline/meaning you give the experience. It’s the interpretation we give the energy that is painful, not the energy itself.

For empaths, the challenge is separating ourselves from other people’s emotions long enough to recognize our own. This is especially important when dealing with HSP. Sometimes the boundary line between empaths and HSP need to be even stronger than other relationships, simply because of the tendency to trigger each other’s negative traits.

It’s important to clarify: ALL EMPATHS ARE HIGHLY SENSITIVE (HSE), but not all HSP are empaths. The difference is in the primary way of processing energy. An empath has the ability to literally feel what another person is feeling (sometimes it’s emotionally, or it shows up physically — you get a headache when someone walks in the room who a head ache — that sort of thing).

Empathic abilities are extrasensory in nature. While an HSP has a sensitive central nervous system, it ‘s not necessarily extrasensory perception. Someone who is HSP (not HSE), is extremely sensitive to the energy around them, but typically is not able to completely connect to what another is literally/actually feeling because their own reactive/sensitive nature is what they primarily experience. An HSP may be able to feel and recognize when another person is upset, but they can’t literally feel what the other is feeling. It’s not that specific. In other words, their own sensitives are what they are feeling, NOT ANOTHER PERSONS.

Before you assume you’re an empath, access your emotional reaction to the world around you, first. I personally feel some of the healing/thriving techniques for empaths are not only inappropriate for HSP, but will actually exacerbate their tendency to project.

Learn what you’re dealing with, then gather the information that will best help you move forward from there.

Peace out.