Tag Archives: healing

Life After Religion

Over the past two years, the majority of people who have contacted me for mentoring or taken my classes have either left, or are in the process of leaving religion.

Many empaths and highly sensitive people find religious environments debilitating to their sensitivities because it is often spiritual bypass2preached that emotions are “wicked,” and unreliable. Many religions ignore emotions at best, or demonize their purpose and function.

(So why do we have them, then? Small malfunction on God’s part, I suppose?!)

Although Jesus’s message was all about the heart (and he was the ultimate empath), many churches value the mind, “right practice,” and “right doctrine” over personal experience, and prioritize doctrine above individuals. Spiritual bypassing is rampant, congregants bury their emotions in duty in an attempt to “die to themselves” (rather than nurture and expand “the well-spring of life”  — which is THE HEART – Psalm 4:23), and in the end, they’re left feeling spiritually empty and exhausted. They kill their passion, lose heart, and call it moral fiber.

Being ardently committed and passionate about doctrine or a “plan of salvation” is not the same as spiritual growth and expansion, and for empaths, this kind of “mind over emotion” environment is deadly.

Because I have SO MANY empaths contact me who are in this transition period out of religion, I thought I’d share some common themes I’ve noticed, things to be aware of, and resources that may help the process.

Themes I’ve noticed:

*Most people who outgrow religion feel they have nowhere to go. They either carry a chip on their shoulder about religion and turnemotional bypass

off all aspects of spirituality out of (understandable) anger, OR float around aimlessly with no sense of connection to others and no clear moral compass.

*For those who come from a strong Christian background this is especially true, as most Christians have a deep sense of community/family, and when you leave, no one knows quite what to do with you. It’s not that they’ve stopped loving you or no longer care, they just don’t know how to relate to you anymore. And leaving the religion feels like you’re leaving THEM. And in a sense, you are.

*Many who leave religion often go through a pendulum swing, trading a life of duty/service/rules, to a maelstrom of drugs, sex, and partying. This swing typically causes them to eventually go back to religion and shut down their hearts even further, because they never learned to trust themselves. They never learned moderation. They never figured out who they are OR resurrected their hearts. They simply tried to numb the pain by releasing all their suppression in one fell swoop. And because they made a mess of things, they feel even further convinced that they “need” religion to babysit them, because they’re convinced they are sinful to the core. In my experience (with the people I’ve worked with), this is the most debilitating conclusion one could come to.

Having a system that babysits and monitors your behavior might be good when you’re spiritually young and immature, but Spiritual abuseyou are meant to eventually grow-up. A parent wouldn’t keep their kid in a play pin for the rest of their lives. That’s abuse. We are meant to grow, make mistakes, and learn how to take care of ourselves. Sadly, many churches and religions foster an unhealthy dependence on their system, emphasizing that without them and their rules/standards/structure, the people would be utterly lost and hell-bound. This is the most destructive and emotionally/spiritually stunting system a person can submit themselves to.

So what can you do?

If you’re coming out of religion, here are some tips to help you stay grounded/healthy:

*Connect with others who are in your shoes: When I first left religion, I didn’t have friends for a while – at least not any that I felt truly understood my heart. I still believed in (and had a relationship with) that which I called “God,” but I was exploring what that meant outside of the programming I’d been raised with; I had no desire to abandon it entirely. I simply needed to feel authentic, a feeling I deeply lacked in the religious environment. There were too many things I did not resonate with, and I just couldn’t lie anymore. It wasn’t until I connected with others who were on a spiritually “open” (and expanded) path that I began to truly find myself again.

Check-out Meet-up groups in your area, or connect with groups on online (Facebook has a ton). I also explored YouTube videos and found others like me (YAY), some who have become very close friends. Finding your “tribe” is an important part of the exit journey. You might be surprised how many people out there are on your same path.

*Know the withdrawal stagesThis will vary for each person (depending on how severe the religious programming hasYield to Love been). For me, it wasn’t entirely excruciating, because although I was raised around religion my entire life (including fundamentalism) I managed to escape all the extremes, and the one church I grew up going to was pretty mild, open, and free (emphasis on having a relationship with Jesus, not on the “church” itself). But I also never deeply connected to it. I’m not sure why that is, but I have NEVER been able to connect deeply to any organization. It just didn’t resonate…and never has.

But for some of my friends/family who were in pretty extreme/fundamentalist groups, it is a much more painful, excruciating, and even terrifying process to exit. If you were raised or deeply programmed in a religion that preaches legalism and constant fear of hell, it’s extremely difficult to leave (and all the more crucial that you do, when you’re ready).

*Join support groups – especially if you’ve been in anything that resembles a cult. Again, Facebook and Google communities have groups that help people who are leaving fundamentalism. It’s important to connect with others who understand the process you are going through (so you don’t feel alone). And it wouldn’t hurt to consider therapy. A lifetime of religious programming takes times to be free from. You don’t walk away unscathed. A lot of unhealthy beliefs stay with you. And frankly, most religions don’t equip you for living a healthy life outside of their boundaries. Get the support you need.

*Have compassion on yourself. I think one of the biggest challenges people who leave extreme fundamentalism have is spiritual abuse 2the ridicule and tone of ridiculousness they (and others) have toward them(selves) “how could you have ever believed in that?!”

Remember that the reasons you were in religion is because on some level it served a purpose, and the purpose is different for everyone. For some, religion was simply a stepping stone on their path of spiritual awakening, for others, it served as an escape from a destructive or abusive life.

Extreme religion often appeals to those who’ve been abused because of the strong boundaries many fundamentalist uphold. The organization will often feel “clean” and “safe” and offers an immediate sense of family and support. This is not only appealing for the abused person, but can initially feel deeply healing. The strong boundaries gives the initiate an opportunity to feel “safe” and hear messages about God – and that initial experience, regardless of how abusive the church/cult may turn out to be, is always the hardest thing to grapple with when one considers leaving. They feel the church “saved” them or that God spoke to them (or led them) there, and if they leave, it would be denying that experience.

Leaving religion also causes people to question their ability to hear God speak. This alone can be devastating. When you are raised in an environment that teaches you to listen to them (or their doctrine) above your own intuition/inner-knowing, it severely damages your ability to tune-in to your own inner guidance system. Putting your faith and trust in something external from you is disempowering. Period. It is impossible to be truly (ultimately) free when you give your power away to a person, an organization, or any doctrinal idea.

It’s okay to honor and respect your decision to be in religion. You don’t have to demonize the experience, but you also don’t have to stay in it. Every experience we have is here to teach us, and when we judge the process, we limit the understanding.

However, it is equally important to realize we grow out of things. Just as we go to 1st grade, then 2nd, then 3rd, we’re not meant to stay in the same place spiritually forever, and after a person gains a sense of safety/foundation and feels strong enough to go deeper, they often feel stunted and trapped, the once appealing religious standards now become stifling to further growth.

This typically causes one to feel a tremendous amount of guilt, (with the extra bonus of fear if the church is one that stressed the consequence of eternal damnation.)

Leaving fundamentalism can be a huge psychological mind f*&K and it takes some time to be free from the fear. But Spiritual abuse 3freedom does come, and often, if you love yourself enough to continue to go deeper with your spiritual growth, you find more freedom, love, and harmony than you’ve ever had in the church/group you were a part of. God is not a building, and spiritual growth is not limited to a group of people. Peace and expansion, as well as a deeper (and more freeing) experience of the Divine awaits all who love themselves enough to receive it.

God is not in a box. Why should you be?

Here are some resources:

Withdrawal Stages from Spiritually Abusive Systems (check out link)

(For those who ARE Christian, but have left religion or are perhaps feeling spiritually dead, this John Eldridge talk is the perfect reminder that there is nothing religious about Jesus. It’s possible to be a Jesus follower and be deeply in touch with your heart, your emotions, and your vulnerability. In fact, it’s essential:

For those who are ready to move beyond religion entirely, here are some things to challenge your spiritual journey for further growth:

4 Ways to Transmute Difficult Emotions

Check out the article I wrote for ModBod:

Emotions can be overwhelming. Feelings like sadness, anger, grief, and loneliness can seem unbearable, especially when we live in a society ill-equipped in understanding the purpose and function of human emotion.

The typical formula is suppression, repression, denial, or some form of intellectual or spiritual bypass. We’d just assume not have any emotion, than to feel the painful ones.

Unfortunately, we need our emotions to function optimally as a human. Emotions are an integral part of our internal guidance system, and when we ignore or suppress them, we cause major damage not only to our mental health, but our physical health as well.

Here are 4 tips to deal with difficult emotions:

1. Allow yourself to feel: The reason difficult emotions feels so…well…difficult, is because we resist them. We want to feelEnergy-and-Girl good, and when emotions arise that conflict with what we want, we typically suppress, repress, or bypass. The resistance between what we feel and what we want to feel causes immense intensity in the emotional body — this is because the emotions are being held back. When we release into the emotion, the pressure eases.

Emotions are meant to be felt. They are our vibrational indicators and are necessary for our survival and happiness in this life. Emotions let you know where you are (vibrationally) in relation to where you want to be. When we resist how we feel, our guidance system has to resort to other measures to get our attention (like sickness in the body). Give yourself permission to feel what you feel. Feeling is not failing.

2. Validate how you feel: Once we allow ourselves to feel what we feel, validation is crucial. Often we feel as if our emotions are out of context: perhaps we feel we are overreacting, or maybe we’ve been told we’re just “too sensitive.” But emotions are always valid. We feel what we feel for a reason. The intensity of what we feel may not be directly related to what is occurring at the moment, but the emotions come from somewhere, and they matter, nonetheless. For true healing to take place, the emotional body must be trusted. You don’t have to act on the emotion for validation, simply tell yourself “What I feel is okay.”

3. Release the emotion: Now that our emotions have been felt and validated, it’s time to let them go. Emotions, once felt, butterfly releasemust be released. Release is not the same as suppressing or bypassing. It’s not forcing yourself to feel differently or ignoring the pain. Release is about allowing our emotional body to run efficiently. Emotions are meant to flow. When we block the flow, it causes imbalances in the body and (as noted above), sometimes illness. If you’re having a hard time releasing an emotion, it probably has not been fully validated. Go back to step 2 and take time to validate how you feel. Deep trauma takes time to heal.

4. Direct your focus toward relief: Relief goes hand-in-hand with releasing emotion. Once you’ve let an emotion go, ask yourself what you need and give attention and focus to the feeling of relief. Your internal guidance always knows what it needs, and it’s always speaking to you. You may have to practice listening, but it will communicate. What do you need? Maybe it’s a hot bath, a walk in nature, or dinner with a friend. Don’t hesitate to pamper yourself after the release of a difficult emotion. Taking care of your emotional needs is how you develop trust with yourself and build a strong emotional body.

Emotions can be powerful tools, but terrible masters. Treat them with respect but don’t fear them. They are your friends and comrades in this life experience. Welcome them in.

Magic Makes Everything Better!

Lately I’ve been feeling so BLAH. Uninspired. Pointless, even.

As this particular brand of “low” has lingered longer than I care to entertain, I figured I might as well make the best of its visit. So I decided to pull up cozy chair, pour some hot tea, and gather a list of some of my favorite things (to add a note of enchantment to the misty fog and heavy rain that seems to have taken up residence in all the shadowy places of my being).

Thought maybe you’d all get something out of it to:

Trees. They just make me happy. Especially these enchanted ones:

woman tree

purple tree

magic tree3

Water. The perfect element to evoke when having tea with sadness (or any emotion, really).

river enchantment3

river fantasy

ocean2

The Sun. Ah the clearing, restorative, empowering energy of sunlight. Bon appetit!

(This first one, I took last fall in Utah, the second I took at a nature park in Sacramento, the third one I found on google images):

nature magic

sun5

sun4

Magic stuff. Always helps me feel more alive (all from google images):.

blue-1280-1024-wallpaper

richard doyle pics

Fairy food2

Now I’m off to write about magical worlds — at winter time. Gotta work with where I’m at.

Happy Monday!

What I Know For Sure

Oprah has a section in her magazine called “What I know for sure” (something like that). Every month she reflects on herSnake energy most recent life lessons and narrows it down to what she can say she knows “for sure.” And it got me thinking; what do I *know* for sure? Believe it or not, it’s a much harder question than I anticipated – especially when I’m in such an intense process of undoing, unlearning, and unknowing.

Here’s what I’ve boiled it down to:

I know that self-love is not just about accepting our “flaws” or “humanity” – it’s also about acknowledging and allowing our power – our Being – to simply BE. In fact, my most “god-like” moments have little to do with altruism or grand demonstrations of love. Rather, the moments I feel the most content and in love with life is when I’m allowing what I feel inside to be what I express on the outside – and it changes all the time! Being authentic – allowing exactly what I am to matter – to be, and to show. The fact that these moments are standing out with such profound clarity is a deep indication of how much of my life I’ve spent being inauthentic, for the motivation of being more loved, more accepted, more likeable.

What a prison.

The truth is, I don’t know. I feel unsure. I feel elated. I feel powerful. I feel beautiful. I feel invincible. I feel vulnerable. I feel like I DO know. And rather than qualifying these passing feelings to definition, I’m simply allowing myself to be a contradiction. I find the more I embrace my inner paradox, the less ambiguous I become.

When I really think about it, the biggest lie I use to tell was how insecure or weak I felt. I told that lie a lot – because I fullmoonwitchthought it made me more likable. Somewhere along my journey I got the message that to be confident about myself was prideful. Or to do/write/be where I authentically resonated was unacceptable, intolerable, or unpalatable. In the confusion of trying to be acceptable, I forgot what it meant to be. That’s when I started to lie. And it seemed to work. People seemed to enjoy or feel disarmed by my self-depreciating tendencies, to the extent that I made it a huge part of my personality.. But it never really felt good to me. And what I’m learning is, it wasn’t fair to my relationships. Living a lie may feel more polite, but on an energetic level, it’s barbaric.

So here’s what I know for sure: I don’t want to lie anymore.

I’ve stopped pretending to be anything other than what I am. Sometimes I feel small and insignificant, but mostly, when I’m really honest, I feel/see how immense and powerful I am. That I can be significant and insignificant simultaneously is awe-inspiring. And what’s most surprising to discover is, I really like myself. I’ve spent so much time believing to hate myself was the more righteous thing to do, that I never realized I was fighting against my most basic nature, which is love. I actually love myself.

I like that I’m a walking paradox. I like that I’ve tried and failed a million times. I like that I can throw a fit when things aren’t going well because I know deep down life is MEANT to be lived awake and aware. I like that I allow my vulnerability to be seen and still take care to give my heart what it needs. But most of all, I like that I’m human. People typically associate “humanness” with being weak or flawed, but I see it as the most badass modality for expressing many truths, and failing all of them simultaneously. How ingenious of us! This experiment is working well.

So here’s to being human, to not knowing (and sometimes not even caring) what “the truth” is. I just know that I Am. And that’s enough.

Go Home, Get Triggered, Write a Poem.

Yes. That’s what happens when I go home, I get triggered.

I think everyone can relate — especially if you’re an empath or highly sensitive. “Home” is like walking into the middle of a landmine. No bueno.

I knew when I planned this trip it was going to be a test. A test of how well I can remember who I am.

Before going I had more than one dream of floating on top of Utah lake, one of the main landmarks of Utah county. Utah lake3Beautiful to behold from a distance, but a cesspool of mercury laden fish and dead bodies — literally.

At the boat dock, warning signs assault any lingering serenity, advising would-be fishers not to eat more than a half a pound of fish from the lake in a YEAR.

Delish.

In my dreams, Utah lake is like the consciousness of the State — sparkling from the outside, full of poison within. And I know I come from here. It is apart of me.

A hard dream to swallow.

I must make friends with this place. Love it, like the shadowy places inside me– for they know not what they do.

Sometimes it works. Glorious moments occur where I shift into a new reality, and all is well. Utah is the home I always wanted — welcoming me with her majestic mountains. Smiling on me with her glorious sun.

But bliss is short lived and I wake to see the inversion settling in, filling my lungs with death.

Maybe it’s meant to always be a reminder of the contrast I come from — the stark memories of the life I don’t prefer, so I can go off into the horizon with renewed desire to create something new.

For some reason this trip home was the hardest one so far, and yet, the most freeing.

This poem emerged as an after thought. I highly recommend creating from melancholy — it leaves quite a ghostly whisper:

Home

At home her tall steeples frown down on me Utah topaz Mountain
as I reach for the sky where her finger points.
Her mountains shield fears
behind walls of trapped tears,
her air turns my lungs black.

A barren land – my milk-less mother
too weak to eat the metal fish in her pond.
With naked eyes I remove her blindfold.
Where Nothing Is
Everything is Hidden.

You Didn’t Fail, You Expanded

There really is an art to surrender.

Fighting against every emotion, being “on top” on my vibration, trying to be intentional and conscious about every little thinguniverse love I do — well — it can sometimes take the joy out of LIVING. Didn’t we come here to be HUMAN? Why would we leave our place of Oneness — our knowing of All Things, to come into a human experience and deny ourselves the experience/blessing of being a singular person with an ego and identity and flaws? We will never learn real love by having an attitude of intolerance towards our learning process.

Living on purpose and with awareness is important (of course) but I feel so many of us feel like if we know we create our reality and anything exists in our experience that does not feel like BLISS, we somehow failed as creators. But we would never be able to create anything at all if we didn’t first experience creating what we don’t want.

We came here to fail and succeed, because in this reality, you can’t have one without the other — it’s the nature (and brilliance) of a dualistic world. The trick is to not see anything you do as a failure, but simply as an experience that teaches us all more about ourselves, and helps us further our expansion. It is only our judgement/beliefs about any experience or situation that gives it a negative or positive feeling — not the experience itself. Drop the judgment.

I am beginning to understand that the key to happiness in this life is not being perfectly in alignment all of the time (or even emotions590% or 70% of the time), but to love and embrace every experience/emotion/creation along the way. LOVE THE PROCESS. LOVE THE JOURNEY. SURRENDER TO LIFE. Give yourself grace. Surrender to the experience (which means failing, messing up, trying too hard, feeling small and insignificant — all of it). You came here to give yourself the perspective of separation just as much as you wanted to understand more fully what Oneness is. We wanted to learn to appreciate all of what we are — not just the aspects that feel acceptable.

So if you are feeling like you failed, you’re too weak, or you just can’t get it right — let yourself off the hook. You are PERFECTLY where you are, and that is always enough. Accept and surrender, and the flow of life will take you to your next level of expansion.

Sending appreciation for all of you today! Thank you for being courageous enough to be HUMAN! What miracles we are!

PS. This interview with intuitive empath Sonia Choquette SO resonated with me because she offers a loving voice to the benefit of failure and points out how we often bypass our humanity (especially in the spiritual community) because we feel we must be perfect. So real and authentic!

The Journey Home: How Pain Can Lead to Power

Sometimes I forget I matter. noseparation

I forget my emotions are my friends (not my enemies).

I forget contrast is here to serve me (not master me).

I forget I am worthy of love.

Coming “home” is where I typically pick up all of my old insecurities:

I’m not good enough, it would seem. I’m unworthy of truly being free.

My first response to is beat myself up. WHY?! Why in the name of all that is holy would I choose to come back to the place I feel the worst about myself? Haven’t I learned my lesson? Why would I do this to my emotional body?!

If I follow that line of thought, the only conclusion I come to is that I am powerless over my emotions and I will always be stuck here – rooted in trauma and fear.

But I know being “stuck” is impossible in a world of constant growth and expansion.

So I press on, guiding my focus toward a stream of thought that feels better to think.

Although feeling powerless shifts responsibility away for a bit (how I feel is caused by THIS PLACE – not me), the truth is, I know better. I know the feelings come from within. I know my thoughts are the ones in control here, not this geographic location. “Home” is a hologram built on my experiences and beliefs.hurt-heart

And I begin to regain power.

Oh yes. That’s right. I get to choose what to think about – where to direct my focus. What do I want to think? What will feel better than these thoughts of powerlessness?

I need to know I have my best interest at heart. I have to know God loves me enough not to abandon me in these feelings of unworthiness. I want to remember the way the Universe allows me to continually revisit deep places of conflict to give me the opportunity to heal further, to accept, love, and understand myself with more clarity. I want to develop more compassion and an unconditional presence to my emotions.

Yes. That’s it. That’s why I’m here. I needed to show up for myself – especially in these places that feel the most unacceptable.

Okay. These thoughts feel better. I feel my vibration shift. I feel more empowered. I feel more taken care of. I feel more seen and heard and loved.

Maybe I’m not abandoned.

So here I am – the genesis of my trauma. I loved myself enough to come back here, right? What do I want out of this experience? What do I need? How do I want to feel?

Perhaps I simply need to be reminded I am not alone. I Am here. God is here. Purpose is here, in this place. This is a loving place to be – a loving thing to do to myself. I need this reminder. I need to know this part of me matters.Rumi poem

I chose to come “home” because I wanted to show myself I care enough to strengthen the places within me that need the most unconditional love.

I chose to revisit old wounds because they asked me to bear witness to their presence – they begged not to be abandoned in the past. And I love myself enough to show up.

I am thankful I have the courage to come home. I need this part of myself for the journey.

Oh yes. I remember now. I almost forgot about the journey – the moments of love and soothing presence offered along the way. The peace found in the storms – the halleluiah chorus along the way reminding me why I chose to come into this life in the first place. This knowing is the reason – this space between pain and beauty – the place of surrender and acceptance of all things, especially the hurt.

Now I can say I am truly thankful (and mean it) for this spot on the earth called “home.” I have not failed here – this is where I had my greatest success. Here I chose to live and hurt – to love and lose and bleed and desire. This is the place I am continually led to for renewal of hope. And God meets me here, in my “weakness.” This place is where I find my greatest strength.

Here I am free.

Creating with Emotions Online Class

Emotions vibrate faster than thoughts. They are powerful conduits for creating reality and our life experiences. Learning to energy movementuse the power of emotions to our benefit is a crucial step to thriving (especially as an empath).

If you’ve taken “Empowering Empathic Abilities” and “Healing and Empowering the Emotional Body” online classes, Creating with Emotions offers practices for the next step with our emotions once we’ve learned to master them.

In this class we will focus on:

*How emotions fuel vibrations (and our point of attraction)

*The role of emotions in creating our reality 

*The importance of trust, healing, and shadow work in the process of consciously creating

*Practices that help to remove common blocks in our creation process

*The role of DESIRE in creation 

*The power of NOW: How to embrace the moment and use it to its fullest potential

This is a pre-recorded class which will be available on Monday, Feb. 16th. A private link will be emailed out on Feb. 16th (for all who have pre-ordered) to a password protected page with all class material. All content is sent out together so participants can take the class at their own pace.

Everyone who pre-registers for this class will receive access to 11 days of audio meditations on healing, empowering, and thriving with our emotions (which will begin Feb. 11th).To pre-register for this class, complete purchase through the paypal link below:

Price $33

Referral program:

If you refer one person to ANY of my online classes, you will receive this class for only $15 empaths

If you refer two people to ANY of my online classes, you will receive this class for free.

If you refer three people, you will receive an additional class (future or currently available) for free.

To participate in the referral program, simply have the person you refer leave a note in the check-out section of the paypal process “referred by: [your name].” I will then send you a private link to register at the discounted price, or a free pre-registration link (depending on the amount of people you have referred).

I look forward to connecting again!

 Creating with Emotions Online Class $33

Buy Now Button with Credit Cards

Monday’s Magic: Soothing the Emotional Body

A Daily Affirmation for Self-Soothing

I Am – Letting go of my self-concept

Today I see and validate that I Am – and that is more than enough. love energy3

I allow my emotions to flow like a powerful river and I thank them for being my allies in this experience in the physical.

I Am a powerful creator and I know my thoughts and emotions are creating the reality I see before me

Therefore I direct my focus inward – to the causal plane.

I embrace the tremendous power of the NOW and choose to bring 100% of my focus into the present moment.

In this moment I embrace and accept all that I feel, and I choose to direct my focus in flow of relief/validation/and self-love – in a way that gives to my emotional body a deep soothing comfort.

I acknowledge that my emotions are my superpower, and I choose to listen to their wise counsel, always bringing in the Wisdom of my Higher Self to help decide the best course of action for my moment.

This moment is eternal as I am eternal. There are no limitations and no time rush. I have time to feel how I feel and give myself what I need. There is space for me to bask in the delicious and soothing energy of self-care.

love energyI know that through this self-care, I will be more whole, more powerful, more creative, more authentic, more compassionate, and a wiser human.

By allowing myself to FEEL I am causing the expansion of the entire Universe – letting All that *is* be apart of my unique perspective.

It is an honor to be in this human body and feel my way through this existence. I am eternally grateful for this power that has been bestowed on me in this moment, and I choose to use it to the fullest potential of each and every *now* the Universe offers me.

I trust the Love of the Existence and receive in it the deepest parts of my soul, in all the places that have lost hope or feel fear. I allow unconditional LOVE to heal all of me, to be present with me in every moment with every emotion.

I will never abandonment myself again, but will do my best to show up and be present to my emotions, trusting in the wisdom of the Universe to guide me into Joy.

I give myself grace. I forgive everyone, everywhere, in all timelines, especially myself.

I receive the moment and all that it has to offer. I am free.

Happy Winter Solstice: Bring Back the Treasures of Darkness!

Can you feel it? We’re Shifting in life-altering ways. As we’ve put our focus on empowering ourselves/taking back our energy/untangling our thoughts and emotions from other people and giving ourselves what we need to be healthy and thrive, a certain inner clarity is arising. The Universal OM is emerging from our inner-most places of darkness.

In my experience, it feels like my inner Shaman is unusually active and helping me go through some of the deepest realms midwinter-magic-260of my subconscious fears. These Shamanic journeys into my own inner realms have also shown me the vibrational boarders of many of my defense mechanisms (after all, we have come to realize that much of our “empathic ability” developed as a form of survival in this world). In other words, I’ve been exploring/healing/and integrating trigger points on my emotional body, and to be honest, there have been moments where it is scary as f**k!

BUT, through all of this, I am finding my inner-strength — the Goddess — the Mother and protector of the sacred realms of emotions, the Wise Crone, the Hag — all the treasures of my inner-world (the Underworld) and all the most valuable secrets of femininity. I can honestly say I am going through a level of empowerment that I have NEVER felt in this lifetime. Ever. It is amazing and terrifying all at the same time. The Universe is asking me to redefine all of my relationships, to evaluate my sense of worth, and to “unplug” as much as humanly possible from diving into other people’s emotional bodies. It is only in THIS way that I am TRULY seeing who I am, what I *really* feel, and what I truly need.

I am strengthening my vibrational boarders — meaning ANY vibrational resonances that is close/similar to past relational tendencies I am healing, clearing, shifting out of (and sometimes, even having to lay the smack down with).

During one mediation I saw a black leopard come out of me — a power animal aspect that I have LONG suppressed (and black panthershe’s SO badass — with a type of strength and sense of personal boundaries that I was unable to access until now). When she came out, she stretched (the way cats do) and then started “patrolling” my vibrational boarders. A few times old vibrations (tendencies/relational stuff) have come-up — and she just knocks them out — the way a cat will bat things out of their way. She gracefully and unapologetically says “No. You don’t belong here.” I have felt so empowered by her presence — so inspired by her grace and form.

This is what we’re doing. We’re waking up. We’re connecting to our inner-strength (and our MAGIC). We’re healing. And we’re changing — for the better. For the SHIFT.

I’ll be talking a lot more about vibrational boarders in my Healing and Empowering the Emotional Body” class, and sharing how I have accessed my inner Shaman, working with power animals to go into our “otherworlds,” and empowering ourselves through our OWN emotional bodies (taking our focus back). I feel this is THE MOST IMPORTANT work I’ve done to date in my life and I’m curious to hear how it’s going for all of you, too.

I’ll do a video on this in the next day or so. In the meantime I just wanted to share a bit about my travels through my inner-dimensions — and I’m bringing back with me all the treasures of darkness.

Happy Solstice!

Responsibility: The Key to Self- Empowerment for Empaths

When we don’t own how we feel, when we don’t take responsibility chakra solarfor our emotions and accept them without judgment (even the negative ones) we disempower ourselves. We make other people responsible for our emotions and then we feel powerless to the effect their attitude has on us (for good or for ill).

The problem with shifting the responsibility of our emotions onto the world “out there” is that it leaves us with no other option but to blame, fight, and resent.

As empaths, it is especially crucial not to fall into the trap of blaming others for how we feel. Just because we may be able to pick up on the emotions and feelings of others, does not make our emotional stability their responsibility or their fault (and vice versa). We are the only ones that have the power and insight to recognize how we feel, validate it, and do what we need to do to take care of ourselves. Nobody else has the capacity to do it for us. If we don’t do it, it won’t get done.

Of course, we don’t always know how we feel. Sometimes we don’t realize how we feel until days, sometimes weeks after an event occurs. That’s okay. It just means we’re out of practice with listening to our emotional selves. Start asking yourself every day, every 5 minutes if you have to, “How do I feel?
“What do I need?”

Validation of our emotions is crucial. While friends/family, therapists, etc. can be amazing tools for helping us learn to validate ourselves, ultimately WE have to have the final say on whether or not our emotions are valid (and they are!). If we don’t validate (once and for all) that EVERY EMOTION we feel belongs here (even if it may be out of context), we will constantly feel the need to seek that validation from the outside world around us. And that is the ultimate form of disempowerment.

Yes. Sometimes we need reminders. We’re human. We’ve all been heart chakra glowprogramed to believe we are powerless. We’ve all bought into the lie that to care about how we feel is “selfish” and that sacrificing our needs for the needs of others is some kind of holy virtue. And of course, altruism is a beautiful thing. But not at the expense of our health. If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’ll have NOTHING to offer the world – and certainly not the best parts of us– and that is the truly selfish crime.

At those times we do feel we need support and validation from those around us, we can – by all means – seek it out. But it’s important for us to remember that sometimes the best “support” will come in the form of nobody validating us – nobody showing up. In fact, it is in those times where we feel utterly alone and abandoned that we often find our greatest strength. The truth is, in some cases, not having support is exactly what we need to finally recognize how crucial it is for us to show up for ourselves. That’s when we find out what we’re made of.

We all must come to a point where we realize, if we don’t validate/love/take care of our emotions, nobody else will. It is in those times where we realize we DO have what it takes to love ourselves, and THAT is when true healing can begin.

When you are feeling invalidated and unsupported by the world self love 2around you, remember that you are your greatest guide and the world around you (no matter WHAT the circumstances may be) is your greatest teacher. YOU have strength within you (and the power of Source/Love/God). You have access to that unending fountain of hope, love, and support and it is CRUCIAL that you find it. It is within. As Jesus said, “the kingdom of God is within you.” It is when we take responsibility for ourselves that we can truly begin our journey to the kingdom inside our own hearts.

In order to feel empowered and truly heal we must take responsibility for:

*How we feel

*What we need (and give ourselves that)

AND

*What we are creating

WE are the creators of our lives. Every day each thought/feeling/inspiration/decision we make is literally shaping our future.

Take the driver’s seat of your life. Start caring about how you feel and what you need above all else. Begin to believe you have something within you that is truly worth giving to the world, and it’s not the half-empty, run-down “self-sacrificer” you’ve been told you have to be, but something FAR more powerful, loving, and inspiring.

How you feel matters. You matter. Own that and experience the wonder of true empowerment.

 

3 Important Tips to Raise Your Vibration

More goodness from Lotus Effect. I’ve been actively/consciously making a lot of internal/external shifts in my life, and I have to say, it’s amazing how quickly our point of attraction changes when we tune into the frequencies that feel good, rather than carry around and listen to the same ol’ junk we’ve somehow believed is inescapable. I wrote this article to explain how making some simple changes can drastically change our lives. I’d love to hear your experience with this as well!

3 Important Tips to Raise Your Vibration

There’s been a lot of talk in the spiritual community about frequency. Frequency is the measurable rate of electrical energy flow constant frequencybetween any two points. Energetically, it is impossible for two opposing frequencies to share the same space. In other words, in order to hear what is broadcasting on 94.9 FM one cannot be listening to 94.9 AM.

Everything in existence carries frequency, or what many in the esoteric world call an “energy signature.” Your own body/health/emotions, etc. emit frequencies (which are actually scientifically measurable). Emotions such as sadness, fear, grief, and loneliness, all vibrate at a low frequencies, while feelings of joy, love, and hope rank high on the frequency scale.

Why is this important to know? At any given time the frequency your very body emits will attract a matching frequency in the environment around you. It’s basic physics. So all this talk about the law of attraction does have a scientific basis. It’s measurable. And understanding how this works is key.

By now we’ve all come to recognize the value our emotions play in overall health. Daily prioritizing our emotions is crucial, but using our feelings and thoughts to attract more good things into our lives isn’t the only thing we can do to raise our vibration. Clearing things out of our environment that have a low energy signature can help facilitate a shift in our lives, as well as paying attention to the frequency of the things we put on and in our body.

Here are 3 important tips to help raise your vibration and overall energetic health:

Eat high vibe food: Organic, living food free from cruelty vibrates at a much higher frequency than the pesticide ridden, torture induced food most Americans consume. Remember, the frequency of the energy you eat attracts more of the same energy, so eating low energy foods makes your body more vulnerable to illness and depressing emotions. Eating high vibe food is crucial to overall mental and emotional health.

Clean and organize your surroundings: Have you considered what’s in the environment around you? Are your surroundings messy and chaotic? Do you have pictures on the wall or music playing that feel low vibe? Take a look around. Everything (even inanimate objects) project a frequency, and those frequencies are attracting like frequencies. If something in your environment feels negative, remove it. You don’t have to keep things around that drain your life force.

Pay attention to what you put on your body: What about what goes on your body? Are the shampoos, soaps, and clothes you put on your skin vibrating at a low or high frequency? Many people don’t pay attention to what they put on their skin because they labor under the false idea that things external from us are somehow separate. Not true.

The skin is the largest organ in the body and is our immune system’s first defense. Quantumly speaking, the skin is just a frequency, not an actual solid barrier that separates us from the outside world. If what you put on your skin is high frequency in nature, it goes to follow it would naturally assist in attuning your body to higher frequencies within.

Apart from wearing environmentally friendly fabrics (hopefully not produced from slave labor), one of the best ways to raise the raise your vibrationfrequency on the surface of your body is with essential oils. “Clinical research shows essential oils have the highest frequency of any natural substance known to man, creating an environment in which disease, bacteria, virus, fungus, etc., cannot live.” (healingpress.com). Because the chemistry and frequency of essential oils can greatly affect the overall energetic signature of your body, they can be an important part of a daily routine to keep your vibes high.

What makes aromatherapy such a powerful health advocate is its connection to the central nervous system and the limbic portion of the brain associated with memory, mood, instinct, and emotion. When we inhale these powerful frequencies, olfactory receptors in our nostrils transmits the energy message to our limbic system and the response is triggered at a deeper cellular level. This is perhaps why smell has been called our most powerful connection to memory.

Scents our nose picks up can immediately put us in a high or low vibe state – the response is instantaneous. Essential oil mists are a great thing to keep with you at all times. Spray yourself (and your environment) with a dose of these high vibes any time you feel your energy getting low. Just make sure they are organic, pure essential oils (free from hazardous chemicals).

Healthy eating, emotional validation, clean products, positive environments, and aromatherapy are some of the most important things to consider when trying to maintain a high vibration. As we dive deeper into the nature of true health, we see it is much more holistic and connected than we’ve been led to believe. So what kind of frequency are you emitting today? What frequency are you tuning in to? The answer to these questions will shape and define your entire experience so you may want to pay close attention.

Have a high vibe day. Happy fine-tuning!

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3 Tips for Being in the NOW!

So many of us are disconnected from the present moment. We OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAregret the past and worry about the future. We spend way too much time in feared and imagined possibilities and potentials that we cease to see what is manifested right before us. I wrote about this a couple weeks back for LOTUS EFFECT and I thought I’d share it today for all of my readers on CHAKRA CENTER.

3 Tips for Being in the Now

The power of now is unlimited potential. In this moment you get to choose. What perspective do you want to have about your life? Where do you want to direct your focus? What you choose to do with your now will shape and direct your entire future. Now is the only thing that truly exist.

Dragging the past into the present drains the now of its power. Past pain, disappointments, fears, patterns, all of them are simply our journey of growth and expansion. They only have the power to affect the now if we allow them to. Our past doesn’t belong now. The now is for the NEW.

What if you left the past in the past and allowed your now to be a clean slate? Doing this does not require you to bypass your emotions, lotus flowerignore trauma or wounds, or even deny the way the past has lent itself to your current situation. Being in the now simply gives you the freedom to have a new perspective. What meaning are you giving the past? Is that meaning true?

The now invites you to release your judgments and comparisons about the past and realize the gift of the moment. Every moment is new. The now is where you hold all your power and that power is perspective. You can ALWAYS choose how you will see the world – what meaning you will give to each passing moment.

If you have trouble keeping the past in the past, here are 3 tips to help change your perspective:

  1. Acknowlege and validate all past wounds and traumas. Her Healing Heart 1Often those who bring their past in the future have never actually validated their pain, but hold on like hell to their story and conclusion about it. This is what a “victim mentality” truly is. If we can’t validate and accept our wounds, we will always be a victim to them.
  1. Question your beliefs about wounds. If a child is sexually abused, they may form a belief about themselves because of the trauma. Maybe they believe they deserved it or they are not worthy of love. Perhaps they conclude they are dirty or defiled. Although the pain that caused these beliefs is very real, the beliefs themselves don’t have to be. Is what you believe about yourself true? Can you gain another perspective? You must be brave enough to question everything about your current belief system if you want to utilize the full power of the “now.” Beliefs and judgments only serve as limitations. The beliefs around our wounds are what cause the true damage.
  1. Get a new perspective. Now it’s time to tell a new story. Yes we’ve been wounded. Yes it matters. Yes we need time to heal. But we get to choose how we will define our pain. We can choose to allow it to make us stronger. What will your new perspective on life be? How do you want to see the world?

The past can hurt us, yes, but it does not have to rob us of our present. It does not need to define our now. Allow your NOW to be a new definition of your power. Let the power of your now shift your perspective and expand your beliefs about what is possible. Utilize its abundant potential. Now is all there is. Use it wisely.

Energetic Hygeine

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7 Days to Healthier Balance and Greater Abundance through Shadow Integration
An Online Group Course

with Charis Melina Brown and Amanda Flaker

March 23 – 30, 2014

What is Energetic Hygiene? Picture

You know those people who seem perfectly nice and you feel as if you should be just fine spending time with them, and yet you do not like interacting with them and feel yucky or drained afterward? Even if they may love being around you?
The reason that you feel icky is that these folks are not watching their energetic hygiene. This is a skill not taught in our culture – as long as we smile, talk politely, and remain within the cultural balance taught in the physical world, energetic bullying, messiness, projection, and pulling is not mentioned nor is it brought consciously into balance by most people in our world.
Not only will this course address how to deal with others with sub-par energetic hygiene, it will help us to make sure our OWN auras are shiny, bright, and integrated harmoniously with those around us. We have all had our moments of being “energetically stinky” and this course is designed to help you become conscious of what you are participating in energetically at all times, so you can direct what you are giving and receiving with full lucidity.

The truth is that our world is NOT always butterflies Pictureand rainbows.
Each of us has a shadow side that, when not integrated, can sabotage our efforts at balance, joy, and prosperity.
When integrated, however, these shadow aspects simply become more notes in the harmonic chord that each of our presences on this planet create, allowing us to heal ourselves and those around us with our clarity, love, understanding, compassion, and the way we embrace our own unique power and responsibility here.
A taste of the course:
Day 1: The Importance of Owning and Honoring Your Inner Shade…
Day 3: Allowing Our Power to be Perceived…

Enrollment in the course includes a free garnet amulet necklace.

A huge part of the course will be in charging this stone with intentions (matching its natural clarification and transmutation properties) that align with course objectives. 

This work is real and intense – and the crystal will hold the vibrations of what we do here, assisting you in continued integration indefinitely after the course has come to an end.

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Register for Energetic Hygiene: $77

Please make sure to include your preferred email address on the order form.

Necklaces will be shipped out just before class begins, so we can all charge them together. :)