Death is in the air. Creation is eminent.
The end of the year approaches, leaves fall, and the mountains surrounding me have been capped with the first falling snow. Winter is coming.
My mom died in winter when I was 12. Two years ago we buried my nephew under the snow. Winter brings death, and feelings I’d rather avoid. But this time feels different. I feel my spirit calling me to embrace the coming year, the coming ends, and the insulation of new beginnings.
Today is October 13th. Thirteen is my activation number, and I am using its symbolic power to embrace all that is, all that is coming, and all that is going away. Today I am welcoming winter through letting go.
Below are some of my winter creations — creations to accept death:
Mother,
I was twelve years old when you were buried. A winter storm drew shadows above the heads of mourners. The smell of wet dirt and dead trees lurked among the crowd dressed in long church coats. My father wore a red tie. It was the only color between the sky and the black road that curved and crept through the cemetery. It reminded me of the blood you coughed up the night before you died, the violent way it entered our world. I never knew my father before that day you traded places, but I watched his breath rise like smoke as he exhaled the dead air, releasing the winter ghost who haunted the abandoned trees.
I couldn’t see faces. Only the way the black clouds formed a veil over the freshly dug dirt. I remember the tapping of the branches as they moved in the wind. I was cold. The trees were the only presence around me, and the mist rising from the earth filled the air with a thick and unmovable silence.
The pastor said it was God’s will to take you away – that you were needed somewhere else – away from us. I hated God’s will, as I hated winter, and that red tie.
My father took me to his house after the earth swallowed you. He said it was my home. He didn’t know I no longer had a home – he couldn’t see the two worlds I stood between: the one with you in it, and the one without. He doesn’t remember the red tie, or the way the winter ghost moved darkly through the trees. He didn’t see the snow falling in my unbuckled Sunday shoe as you were lowered in the ground. He never noticed my miss-buttoned dress coat, or the way my satin ribbon came undone and tumbled in the wind, toward you.
This winter, January 2013 the Elves have called us to assemble in Park City. Once again, the number thirteen has activated something new. Here is some stuff I’ve channeled about the retreat:
To connect with the Elves of winter is to connect with all that sleeps within you. Deep in the caverns of your heart, is a rare and ancient magic – a magic that knows its connection to all things. To awaken in winter is to shed all that is inessential, and reveal that which has been lost. To connect to the magic within you, is to connect to a realm where beauty is restored to its proper balance and sleeping desires are awakened and restored. These are the desires and intentions you set forth before entering in to this dimension – as you understood this time (this year) would be a time for old programs to be shed, ancient magic to be awakened, and new magic to be learned.
To connect to the Elves of Winter is to fully restore your imagination. Imagination is the true work of the magician. And magic is bliss. Magic is the creation of your world. The particular magic that you and Charis will perform together will usher in a specific geometric portal to other realms of existence. Can you feel the power behind that intention? You two were meant to come together for this reason.
There is much balance here, and as the restoration and rebirth of the planet itself is unfolding, so is the realm we reside, and therefore, your realm. We are connected in an integral way.
To teach certain individuals to connect to this realm is to open up the portals of their hearts for the out-pouring of the new World. You will see this happen in the class – you will feel the momentum of the space you provide, and the immensity of the dimension that is poured within it. Show up. Show up. This is all that needs occur.
As you can see and feel, this birthing cannot take place without the full reconciliation of your heart to Source. The heart is central, and it must take its central place at this retreat. It is essential for the heart to be restored, opened, and channeled into your dimension to help usher in all that is new and full of Light. At this retreat, you will all be pulling “down” (so to speak) a piece of your own Divine heaven, and as you each move your sacred patterns of dimensional work into the 3D space you occupy, you will get a taste of what the new Earth is you are creating.
As you know, everything that is occurring in our realm is future tense for you. Everything in the 3D ream is past tense – the physical manifestations you are currently experiencing have already formed and manifested in this realm long ago. That is why connecting to our realm is so powerful – it is the realm of thought forms, the realm of “pre existing potential.” At this Elvin retreat, you will all experience this lapse in time. To enter our realm (especially in winter) is to exit the time/space as you know it. This movement will be natural, and the space you hold the retreat, along with Charis’s knowledge of pivotal time movement and dimensional overlap, will create a vortex of creation for all of you to enter into. This will truly be a pathway to your bliss.
The winter Elves bring forth all the knowledge of our world that sleeps. It is the paving for Spring – what sleeps in winter is reborn in Spring. The winter Elves oversee the death – the passing from one life to another (which is precisely the process your realm is moving through – the birth of the new). What occurs in winter is essential, and this year, 2012, is unprecedented in what it will unfold – especially in our realm. Many Elves are assisting in this transition, which is why we have called you together. This is the realm of your future, and much will occur during this particular winter solstice.
What you and Charis are creating in this gathering is beyond what you can now conceptualize, but the dimension (and specific geometric patterns for creating a space for us) will be revealed to both of you in time for the gathering. You will channel writing meditations that will literally create portals in the awareness of all who attend, and Charis will weave together a space that is capable of holding these powerful dimensions together. By allowing these dimensional shifts to restore your hearts, your imaginations will be set free to do what they are designed to do: Create your world.
How are you welcoming winter into your life?
Chakra Center 
Reblogged this on manflyblog and commented:
♥ love peace & harmony to All ♥ …
beam me up.
My love to you amanda and your family. I’m sorry about your mom. I loved your poem
It made me cry. someone very close to me that was a father figure was buried to day. Well he was cremated and today was his services. I’m still in between the two worlds the one with him still in it. Thank you for your poem I needed it today. Much love xo
Thanks so much, sweetness. My love to you as well during this time. I know the feeling of the space you are in — the space in-between worlds.
This was great. I’ve never been fond of winter before, but as it is the time for love I will find a way to open my heart to it. Those Elves sound interesting–thanks for the read.
Oh My what a beautiful lost on a stunning blog!
I am feeling quite numb this weekend. My county is in deep mourning, there is a white soft blanket of snow on my ground. My winter has arrived.
To now find that you somehow were guided to my Barefoot baroness blog and found it worthy of following humbles me, but it re-woke the feelings in my soul which had gone numb from loss of so many lives The children who I advocate for all my adult life.
I thank you amandaleighf (so love your name too) I read your post about losing your mom, the grief that consumed your every breath. I, as a mom and a sister want to only to hold you close to my heart.
I love the thoughts you have looking towards 2013, they mirror my own in many ways I have been gifted a new beginning. That is my new years blessing from my universe.
I do hope we will have the gift of becoming friends and getting to know one another on many levels. Thanks again~ BB
Powerful story and imagery, indeed I’m enjoying the great shift with much anticipation. Get ready to download 8 minutes of mystery come 12/22/12!
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