I’m determined to take it to the next level, this thing called existence. I have always been a collector of sorts, rocks, hobbies, friends, photographs, recipes and possibly the most common of all, beliefs.
Most of us come to a point in our journey where the search of external answers ends. We stop searching for more answers, more reading material, more gurus to follow and the focus shifts to something new. I have dubbed this point “the cast off.” This is the point where we realize everything we’ve been searching for has always been deep within, all we need do is cast off all the extra layers of belief systems to see it.
I have placed myself square in the middle of a rapid shift resonating deep within. A spiritual shift, or perhaps the rediscovery of such, has perpetuated me into a physical shift. Having taken a year off from everything and sustaining some major blows to my ego, I cleaned up my act.
Pretending to be a bystander and watching everything fall down around you kind of has that effect, at least it did for me. Being the victim has lost it’s luster, so has blaming other people for my problems. And silly me, in the beginning I thought once I make that realization everything will be hunky-dory and I can go on with my life. “Oh no my dear,” the universe said. “This is only the beginning.”
Once my mental state was at an even keel, I moved on to the next logical step. How about we thaw out this freezer we call a heart hmmm? That was fun, and sad, and stupid, and angering and then fun again. I’ll probably be working on this one for quite some time actually. It’s very rare to find someone who doesn’t have some sort of emotional trauma that causes them to hold others at a distance.
Peeling back the layers of your self is a funny thing. Once you peel the first layer back then you find another, and then another, and another. This can potentially go on forever, which is why I’m switching over to the pursuit of enlightening instead of enlightenment. It seems like a more reachable goal as I will be succeeding with each step of the process and that feels really good.
But I digress, as I continue on this detoxification process, my next challenge has been diet. As my heart grew I had this odd realization that some of my food needed to be killed before I ate it! Of course I had know this before but had never really thought about it. I have always loved animals, still do and always will. Sometimes I identify more with them than I do with my fellow humans. So it’s not too far of a stretch for me to fully integrate the concept that we are all indeed one. It just makes sense.
The real moral of the story here is: Don’t be surprised if you feel like utter crap at points during this detox process, mentally, spiritually, and physically. It happens to almost everyone and there is nothing “wrong” with you.
As a community we really need to work together to dispel this myth that being of love and light is all rainbows and butterflies with unicorns spreading pots of gold to all the good little girls and boys all the time. It can be at times and those times are really freaking great, but other times situations can downright suck. Bodies will ache, tears will flow and tempers will flare. But that’s good too, that’s progress, that’s movement, and most of all, that’s what I signed up for. It is what it is.
Namaste and Smooth Sailing