Twin Flames: Fact or Myth?

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In recent years, the spiritual community has adopted the concept of “Twin Flames” and made it a common focal point for discussion and estimation of the success of one’s life and level of happiness. The Twin Flame concept is essentially a re-branded version of Soul Mates.

Twin Flame

With the intention of ever becoming more fully conscious beings – is this something we can accurately believe in and pursue?

Is it true that for each person there is one other being, either physical or non physical (and isn’t that a tragedy if your Twin Flame didn’t incarnate this time around….) that is perfectly attuned for partnership and cosmic, enlightened love?

Often explanations of the Twin Flame idea include an assertion that prior to incarnation, one soul was actually split into two and put into separate bodies. Is this even possible? Let’s examine the concept and see.

For many in the Lightworker, Starseed, New Age community, there is a desire to continue on a path of purposeful, conscious, soul evolution. This is not a novel idea – the same basic thought was expressed by Jesus when he spoke of the Kingdom of Heaven, a place of thought and feeling originating within each person rather than a physical location, as well as by Buddha when he spoke of a state of Enlightenment.


Over the course of physical incarnations, with the various lifetimes experienced by a soul or group of souls varying in length, location, and experience, one accumulates and synthesizes events, emotions, and energetic/thought patterns in order to evolve a soul (which can also be thought of as a sentient non-physical energy pattern) by the learning that happens through varied experience.

So where does this leave the Twin Flame theory?

What are Twin Flames?

If you do a simple internet search on Twin Flames, you are likely to find a plethora of information in articles and videos that is highly romantic and sometimes heartbreaking, singing the praises (sometimes literally) of the experience of a deep, connected, “only-one-out-there-for-me” romantic love. You will see that Twin Flames are often described as one soul that has been broken apart into two pieces and incarnated into two different physical bodies, neither of which able to feel complete until they have reconnected with each other and fallen in love.


This hearkens back to the idea of the Soul Mate – one person, somewhere on the globe (often conveniently in the same country or at least speaking the same language) that is “meant” to be in romantic love with another.

The concept of Soul Mates, and now Twin Flames, is usually accompanied by a bittersweet feeling of intense longing and a sort of pleading with the Universe –
“Please bring my Twin Flame to me.”

“I cannot continue my evolution as a soul in joy and completeness until I find that perfect love.”
“I can feel my Twin Flame out there – where is she/he?”
“I am in love. Could this be my Twin Flame?”

The latter question is asked with the unspoken assumption that if this person actually is the Twin Flame, then the relationship should be perfect, and if she or he is not the Twin Flame, then the relationship is doomed.

Are Twin Flames Real?

To begin, the general concept of Twin Flames leaves out one very important piece of information regarding what an incarnation lived on this planet actually is. The school of Gaia, which we are each now experiencing because of our presence on this planet at all, is one of balance, the completion of the duality paradigm, and, now more than ever, attaining a grasp of the effortless skill of perfect manifestation and creation of life experiences through focus, balanced thought, the energetic pattern of abundance, and self-care.

meditating girls

Every experience had by any person in any lifetime is brought for the purpose of learning and evolution.

These experiences are not always beautiful and easy – in fact, the majority of lessons are learned through pain historically – but as a soul learns to attain a level of conscious creation, life experiences become more harmonious.  This is a logical progression, because if the goal is conscious creation, then things would obviously feel more smooth and pleasant as this goal comes closer to being reached.

Beginning with the idea that we all experience exactly what we need in order to learn and that our goal is to become cognizant of our state as creators and skilled at the act of creating, then it would not make sense that one external human (or non-human as the case may be, there are MANY beliefs about this subject) is floating around somewhere, waiting to be discovered.

Beginning with the idea that we all experience exactly what we need in order to learn and that our goal is to become cognizant of our state as creators and skilled at the act of creating, then it would not make sense that one external human (or non-human as the case may be, there are MANY beliefs about this subject) is floating around somewhere, waiting to be discovered.


How Does Love Work?

The energy of love is much like the energy of financial abundance, a.k.a. money. The creation of experiences of love, in the creation’s energetic matrix, is much like the creation pattern needed when manifesting experiences of bountiful financial abundance.

This often means that if the state of “not enough” is focused on and fed emotion, then the abundance option is pushed away.

If you long for your love, thinking about how unhappy you are until you find them, you are likely pushing that love away. This is completely unrelated to whether this love is possible with one person or a thousand people.

If you long for financial abundance and focus on your empty bank account, giving it thought and emotion, then you are pushing abundance away – whether that abundance comes from only one option of a job or career, or many options.

If you focus on the pure enjoyment of your life, within the parameters you have but without thinking of your lack, then the abundance of love, money, or both will find you.

fun friends

If you enjoy your own company and the company of friends, you are much more likely to emit a vibration to the Universe that will attract an experience of beautiful romantic love, which will of course bring its own challenges.

If you work within your budget and make it a point to have experiences that feel decadent whether or not they cost any money at all, it is much more likely that you will draw in the experience of enough money to pay for whatever experience you wish to have.

The difficult thing about this idea is that it is impossible to prove after the fact.  I know a lovely couple made up of an American man and a German woman who had a very interesting internet-based meeting. He had just bought a new computer and installed a chat program. She had just gotten the idea that she needed to practice her English language fluency by chatting with someone online.

Ten minutes after he opened up his chat window for the first time, she randomly picked his name off of a list of English speakers to introduce herself to in order to practice her English. Just after their meeting and short conversation, she went on a business trip and he was too busy to log on to the internet again for weeks. The next time he logged on, she had just returned from her business trip. They met again. Now they live in Virginia, married with three delightful children.

couple drinking tea

Some would argue that this experience proves the Twin Flame idea with the caveat that no matter where your Twin Flame lives, you will meet him or her when the time is right.

But perhaps a more accurate way to look at this is that if you are ready vibrationally to experience love, then love will find you and has an infinite amount of possible way to appear in your realm of experience.

So What is the Real Way to Think of Love?

We are each a being holding a unique energetic signature. We create our reality through our planned lessons (often prior to incarnation) combined with the belief systems and energetic/vibrational patterns we currently hold as physical beings with unique life histories.

So with this truth in mind, we can look at the surrounding population of eligible romantic partners and see logically that some subset of these available individuals will be compatible in their energetic signatures, belief systems, and life circumstances for romantic partners.

It is true that we often make agreements with members of our soul pod, or family, prior to incarnating about the parameters of any given relationship that occurs between us in our lifetime.


However, this is not a helpful thought when thinking of romantic love and attempting to draw it in.

The most clean and effective way to view this experience is by isolating our own energetic pattern regarding romance that we are projecting to the Universe and that is therefore being presented back to us as experience.

Do we believe that we need a relationship with another being in order to feel fulfilled? It is likely that if we do, we will attract relationship patterns that disprove this theory via heartbreak and possibly betrayal until we change the projecting pattern we are emanating.

Do we believe that we easily find love and each relationship serves as a learning experience and an opportunity to grow love and compassion? If so, it is likely that we will have a more harmonious romantic life – although the rigid grasp that many people have on an idea of “one love only per lifetime” is being disproven often these days. And just because one finds love, this does not mean that the challenge is over.

The lessons learned in the most intensely loving and connected relationships are some of the most challenging in an incarnation – romantic love is an energetic opportunity to learn in infinite ways, but these are always tempered and shaped by our beliefs and our level of self-love.


If we choose to accept only the best, it is likely that increasingly better experiences will present themselves to us. If we have a problem with spiritual bypass or denial, then it is likely that our experiences will become progressively more painful until we wake up, stop bypassing and denying, and honestly look at our belief system around our worthiness as individuals.

Every being on this planet deserves love. This of course includes you. And the more fully you believe this, the more beautiful your loves will be – both romantic and platonic.

The fairy tale idea of the Twin Flame is incorrect and misleading. However, the truth is much more beautiful and open. If you are waiting for love, then begin to emanate love – for yourself, for your friends, and for your loved ones. Love will come to you. And there does not need to be one person somewhere in the world to search out – the experience will appear before you, effortlessly.

Charis with bindi

Charis Melina Brown serves as an ambassador to realms of  existence that our modern Western culture has denied the existence of in recent centuries.

She carries an MA in Transpersonal Psychology, and is the author of two books, Journal of a Starseed: Discovering the Real Worldand Instruction of a Starseed. She is a regular contributor for our Starseed corner at Chakra Center.

Charis has a beautiful website and YouTube channel, sharing all things blissful and metaphysical.  Check her out at the following links:




17 thoughts on “Twin Flames: Fact or Myth?

  1. Dear Charis, an interesting take on not only the Twin Flame concept but love and life and so on. The problem with this is that you have no experience of being a Twin Flame so cannot possibly comment. Your article is based on no knowledge whatsoever and the example of the Twin Flame couple is simply ridiculous and is about a couple who met online by chance.

    What I suggest is that you actually do some research on this and then write something about Twin Flames which offers proof for or against this phenomena.



      1. Numerically my twinflame and I are Perfect💕
        My life path is 22, His life path is 11
        I was concieved on the day he was born 😲
        my bday is (11-20) his (2-27) we are born in the same year..His bday is also the same day as my Fathers ( my mom told me I was concieved on my fathers bday before I even met the flame)😨
        I use to blog on a TF site where this guy that was into numerology said our birth dates added up to (69) by adding our month & day
        11+2=13 add 1+ 3= (4)
        2+2+7=11 add 1+1= (2) add em up (6)
        + the year 1980 = 9/ 9+9=18 added 1+8 =(9)
        He you, that 69 is the sign of TF’s.

        We met @18, I didnt know Anything about TF
        then..I went thru 10 year of absolute torment, yearnings, truly believing I was Crazy..cuz I Loved him obsessively & he absolutely Hated me..we met & became sexual partners after the 2nd time we saw ea other..that only lasted for about a month..cuz he decided I was just a Hoe for sleeping with him so quick..& after 10 years of Hell..bcuz I Really didnt want anyone else & he Really Hated me & treated me worse,
        I finally looked on the internet looking up obsessive love & found a site about TF’s..I was very skeptical..believing somebody made it all up for stalker types to not feel so bad..but the more I read the more I Had to believe..
        YES it is TRIPPY…but @ this point..I simply know in my heart 100% that this is True… the only issue I question is..bcuz he still dislikes me.. What Is The Point?

    2. Lolly Bongo thank you so very much. I don’t disagree with you at all! Only one who has had this happen to them have the right and ability to speak TRULY on it. I am in NO WAY evolved as many say you need to be or was even remotely emanating the love that is mentioned but we found each other anyway 2 years ago. I have met my Twin Flame, I continue to work with him on a near-daily basis watching this incredible love grow between us. The wanting romance is NOT all it is about, it is completely about KNOWING this person is every bit as much you as you are him – the ABSOLUTE CLEAR KNOWING OF IT! He too is in no way spiritually evolved enough a person to understand it all, but it has happened and we go on from here. It IS true, it DOES happen and our learned ideas of couple-hood and societal beliefs that govern us all little by little gets stripped away until there is only love remaining.

    3. I believe you are correct Lolly. I also believe Ulf’s ideas although interesting does not resonate with me nor has it been my personal experience thus far. But I am happy that he is having such a passionate, intense and seemingly wonderful experience.

      That being said. Once you have the experience you realize there are very many similarities between your experience and others dealing with many of the same issues. That in itself is something you need to experience before being able to write such an article just as Lolly pointed out..

      The idea of Twin Flames is not new. Plato described it 2,500 yrs ago. Sufi’s discussed it 800 yrs ago and so on. So, yes much more research would be needed in order for this article to be complete.

  2. Twin Flames are graduate beings of the “Earth and Cosmic School” They do not have karma and are here solely for the purpose of a mission for Gaia. There is ONE person out of the 7 billion people on Earth who is your Twin Flame,there are few TRUE twin flames on this planet,(about 1% of the planet has a twin flame) not everyone has one as not everyone is a graduate being. The twin flame connection starts with recognition on an energetic level (same vibration) and an activation starts in 5D and is brought down through the 5 layers of the body and activates the kundalini in the 12 chakras fully that all twin flames have incarnated with. This in turn puts the twin flames into an euphoric exaulted state of consciousness and the two experience a “5D Bubble Love Phase”,where nothing but the two twin flames exist.
    There are a lot of young souls on this planet and they have never experienced anything other than 3D Earth (not allowed to go up in grades and skip classes to put it in layman terms). And this is the purpose of the twin flames to aid in the ascension process as they have been EVERYTHING and have the experience and the tools needed for this mission. I found mine through auspcious synchronicities and orchestration of higher self by the time this article was published.
    I have lived in this connection for over a year and I can say hands down IT IS NOT FOR EVERYONE…It is hard soul work and in no way a regular karmic soul mate relationship or the next best thing to soul mates.
    It is a mission and the burning away of old templates,patterns and programs is hard work and should not be taken lightly. There is no way one can prepare for the intensity of this connection other than self-love,
    being content with your own life and enjoy your own company is very important. I’ll add “Know thyself” to my recommendation as the other one will also be you on a soul level (One Soul In Two Bodies) And by knowing yourself,you can learn to handle the intensity somewhat better.
    If you are gonna listen to or read about someone’s opinion on twin flames,make sure they are with their twin flame and not just intellectualizing a BIGGER THAN LIFE CONNECTION. It is not just about the two twin flames in question,it is above and beyond all 3D concepts of relationships and this is what twin flames are here to replace.
    I TRULY recommend and for ANY information and clearing of false information given online about this phenomenon. Good luck to those who have twins out there…
    Be prepared to be pulled up by the roots LOL Much love from
    Ulf Haukenes
    Norwegian Twin Flame…

  3. I am so grateful for this article, not for its content being true, but the responses of the two other twin flame couples. I too am in relationship with my twin and its is all that they both have described. We are preparing for out bigger work. For now we are building a foundation based on equality and neutrality on all levels. Our coming together was cataclysmic and our combined orbit of potential is something we’re learning how to navigate. Learning how to navigate an entirely foreign reality. Holy shit balls, we’re SOOOOOO grateful to have each other!

  4. I like the idea that it’s possible that twins are not as most people believe. I was convinced I knew who my twin was, and now, despite all of the things that have happened that made me believe in the theory, I’m now feeling like there may be more to it than we understand or maybe even want to admit. Great article.

  5. Even if twin flames are real, how can we be sure? The assumption that we are somehow special because we found the other half and other people don’t is a contradiction. Even if that is true, we should instead focus on growing up, being enough humble to recognise that wat matters most is our individual way to achieve spiritual maturity. All the connections we have with other humans should be considered only in the purpose of helping us to grow. And for that, no matter if twin flames exist os not, because that’s not the most important. Even if they exist, we still have to be independent and learn by ourselves and find our spiritual path alone. They will always be a mirror for something we must discover about our own being, our own soul. There are a lot of spiritual connections during our lives. If we take our twin flame connection in a lighter way, maybe we and our twin can be trully happy. Without ever thinking about it. Just in a natural, free way. Any pre-concepts about relationships are a limit tonthe love we can give and receive. God and your guardian angels bless you.

  6. I have experienced a relationship with someone that was not one detail off of the description of a twin flame. He is the most romantic person I’ve ever met… Opened my eyes to what a true and honest love really is… Made me see how much I need to learn to love myself…showed me awareness… Woke me up from the walking dead… Cleansed my preception… On and on and on…. I fell totally in love with him after he picked me apart only to see me rise up and put myself together. He won’t be with me yet because I’m still in a recovery/healing process. My point though is that even though I feel this strong and desperate love for him is that I think maybe he was just one of many that are trying to help others raise there awareness into a higher consciousness. And when someone takes the time to actually see you and are so beautiful themselves to be so selfless and devoted to actually changing someone’s life so profoundly, naturally we fall in love.

  7. I don’t tbim think fair to say the writer doesn’t know what she’s talking about because a lot of people WANT to believe in Twin Flames because it makes life beautiful and makes love, or rather the pain experienced on the road to love, worth it. But in reading some of the comments below and what they describe as being with a Twin Flame it sounds more like they are obsessed with a sociopathic narcissist and romanticizing that interaction. Narcissists can make you feel like they are tour match but someone who tears you apart is not your divine mate. Being with a Flame can cause pain due to growth like when a baby is teething for example but it’s not because that person is purposely inflicting pain on you by disrespect, bullying or discarding you like trash. Be very careful who you place romantic hopes on. The Flame union incinerates the parts that are not useful and leaves a beautiful arising Phoenix in its wake, not burnt ash. Thanks for writing this piece luv, it was insightful and empowering. Self love is always the way.

  8. I have met my twin flame and it’s a very strange, mystical and bizarre concept that almost no one understands. The variable surrounding the definition is pretty much spot on. An instant sense of trust, love making that opens up your heart chakras and lasts for hours and hours and it’s like being in another dimension, it is true lovemaking that only we (or other TF’s can understand) We are 2 souls who vibrate at the same energy and we mirror the healing that needs to be done which causes on to run (the man) yep this all happened. When we were apart I could (and he could too) talk to each other telepathically, sometimes waking me up in the middle of the night. It’s an unconditional scary love because it forces you to heal the things you don’t want to – and it isn’t until then, if it’s meant to be, that you can reunite. It’s not a myth, I love him and have loved him in a way I can’t understand. Be open minded, this has had the biggest impact on my life.

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