Many of us struggle with the concept of forgiveness. Forgiveness seems pointless, permissive, and often times can feel like a betrayal of the self. However, when we struggle to forgive others, it’s usually not because the other party must be punished, nor is it usually because the anger and resentment is such a powerful tool we use to motivate ourselves so we can “show them.” Quite the contrary; when we struggle to forgive others, it’s most commonly indicative of our underlying inability to forgive ourselves for our transgressions against others and ourselves.
How Do We Start Punishing Ourselves?
When we engage in behavior that goes against our alignment, we are programmed to self-loathe. Do you remember being a child and being called ”bad” for something you weren’t supposed to do? Do you remember being expected to do exactly as you were told, and if not, then you were the “problem child?” Our childhoods are wrought with structures and social norms to make us belittle ourselves in an effort to be humble and to disregard the maintenance of our present self.
This doesn’t make our parents or caretakers bad people. It just means they weren’t the human conceptualization of perfect, and that is okay. What we need to realize is some of our belief systems or behavior processes simply aren’t useful for having the best life, nor creating the best world.
What Happens When We Don’t Forgive Ourselves?
This is perhaps the most important question to ask because if you are like I was, you might be thinking, “Well, it only hurts me if I don’t forgive myself. Besides, it really doesn’t hurt if I just don’t think about
it.” I used to fully believe that punishing myself for the things I wasn’t proud of was the best way to keep myself on track and to never again do those things. Let’s take a look at what is really going on though when we go through this punishment type of atonement.
If you want to live a happy, fulfilled life but you are engaging in behaviors and feelings of unforgiveness, you begin offering a contradictory vibration to the universe. Your conscious vibration might be a layer of happiness, contentment, and even excitement depending on your situation. However, there is an underlying, subconscious vibration of underserving, self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-depreciation.
These feelings create a lower frequency cumulative wave that goes out to the universe as your manifestation order from the Universal creative menu. What ends up coming to your life table either turns out to not be what you ordered or comes back with a bug in it. This not only affects your life, but also affects the world on both an energetic and physical level.
Everything in this world is made of energetic and matter components (more on this in my next article). Because we are biological energetic transmitters and channels, our energetic outputs affect our environments and the entire universe. Once we manifest those energetic outputs into our physical space, we’ve created an energetic contract for that experience. It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind, but what you’ve done is created the physical, sensorial experience you didn’t want.
Keep in mind, this can manifest in a number of ways, including: manifesting the situation you were fearful of, manifesting the right opportunity at the wrong time, manifesting almost the experience you wanted but it’s just not quite there, or even manifesting the experience you wanted and then engaging in self-sabotaging behavior. There are other scenarios, of course, but these are the big ones.
As you can see, in order to live in alignment, joy, and fulfillment, it’s important to go through the process of self-forgiveness.
How Do We Start Forgiving Ourselves?
You may be wondering, “What is the self-forgiveness process? How can I overcome the years of programming, guilt, self-sabotage, suboptimal manifesting, and unhealthy emotional processing?” Luckily, I’m going to tell you.
Forgiving yourself is an expression of self-love and self-acceptance. That does not mean you accept or condone your behavior. Instead, you are choosing to acknowledge and take responsibility for your “out of alignment” decisions.
In order to forgive yourself, you need to do the inner work which led you to the original decision to begin with; it is important to note that the “why” of things is not always important, but if you can notice your own patterns and triggers, then you can develop new healthy habits and ways of dealing with these instigative situations.
The next step is to realize the person you are in this moment, is not the person you were in the previous moment. While your actions had consequences, you do not have to atone for those actions through self-loathing tactics of any kind. Atonement is more effective when done through the acknowledgement of your out of alignment choice, integrating all of the lessons learned from that experience, and choosing to expand from that experience into a newer, more aligned version of yourself.
When you choose the path of self-forgiveness, you choose the path of expansion, self-worth, and empathy for the human experience. We did not come here to be perfect, we came here to learn and come back into self-love after seeing ourselves through the veil of separateness and imperfection.
I will leave you with a quote of my belief about life and I hope it will inspire you to fully love and forgive yourself in every moment of every day. ” I believe life is all about learning to unabashedly, unconditionally love yourself because when you love the creation and the infinite spark of Source, you are glorifying all of divinity.”
I want you to consider an area of your life, or specific experience, where you’re having a difficult time forgiving yourself. You can either share that experience in the comments below, or choose to go through the process of forgiving yourself and share that experience. We’d love to hear about your experiences with self-forgiveness.
Much Love & Big Nonlocal Quantum Hugs
Written by: Positive PollyAnna
PollyAnna presents ways for people to come into their own power, how to powerfully manifest their reality, and how to balance their left and right brain so they can self-actualize, realizing their highest potential. Quantum Empowerment shares what it means to lead a quantumly empowered lifestyle. How are you affected by the energies, people, animals, and objects around you? How can you break victim mentality? How can you activate your DNA on a biological and energetic level? What are the ways you can expand your consciousness? This column covers a wide spectrum of information, all dedicated to helping people grow into their interdimensional, interconnected self and reality.
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3 thoughts on “Self-Forgiveness: Proper Atonement”
Reblogged this on Positive PollyAnna and commented:
Check out this new article I wrote for Chakra Center! It’s a continuation of my Forgiveness Article 🙂
The experience I’m currently having a hard time forgiving myself for is cheating on my boyfriend (now ex) with my previous ex… It’s hard I love him and I messed it all up.
Self forgiveness is a great starting point for any journey of self awareness.