5 Painful Pitfalls of Being an Empath


Ha ha. Did the title scare you? That was the point (in jest, of course).

If you’re an empath, eliminating these 5 habits will free-up your power immensely

*Attaching Storylines to “Feelings”: Just because we feel energy from another, does not  mean we need to figure out what they need. What other people are going through is none of our business (unless they ask us for support). Simply give YOURSELF what you need to transmute the energy and let it go. As soon as we assume a storyline about the other person, we’ve disempowered them.

Only by EMBODYING the healing and holding a space for people to be exactly where they are, do we give healing. Why would we want anyone (including ourselves) to feel broken? Feelings are normal – ALL of them. They don’t have to be the force that informs our beliefs or actions and they are not problems to be fixed. They are our natural expression. Don’t attach assumed or imagined storylines to the energy you feel from others. It’s a complete waste of mental energy and depletes us of vital life force

*Judgment: There’s an enormous difference between discernment and judgment. Every time we judge anyone, we simultaneously judge ourselves. All we can do is simply be aware and consciousness – discern OUR OWN PART in any experience and what we need in order to feel harmony within ourselves. Nothing we feel is ever (ultimately) about another person. Other people’s choices are theirs, but how we respond/react/judge them is about US. Judgment is not our place. We have no way of truly knowing another person’s heart.

*Establishing a hierarchy. Whether it’s in secular or religious/spiritual environments, the idea that we are “above” or “below” another person is damaging for anyone, especially an empath. Once we’ve set up a hierarchy, we automatically place ourselves as the oppressor, the victim, or the savior. We will never evolve past things like war and larger world concerns if we can’t settle this basic interpersonal conflict among ourselves and friends/spouses/family.

We are all different and unique aspects of the same ultimate Universe. Practice seeing yourself as the owner and ruler of your own life/choices. You are the one who must ultimately take up dominion over your life and we must quit waiting for the outside world to change in order for us to believe we are free, independent, sovereign, and POWERFUL creators – neither above nor below anyone.

We may not have equal shares of power, but we all have ultimate authority of what we believe about ourselves and how we will respond and act in the world. Changing our beliefs regarding this is an important responsibility we have to the ones who are praying for a world of equality. This step is key.

*Co-dependency: If you’re an empath, you’ve probably heard about the peril of co-dependency ad nauseam, but as I am highlighting pitfalls, I would be amiss not to mention perhaps this most common (and dangerous) potentials for empaths. It is crucial for an empath to learn to self-soothe and love oneself with respect and boundaries so we can attract people into our lives that love us the way we deserve.

Beginnings strongly influence outcomes so it’s important to get a handle on our empathy and learn how to be a powerful, sensitive creator in relationships, so our life force is not squeezed out by the overwhelming emotional needs of others (and the addiction of being needed by them).

*The Healer Complex: We all go through this phase, and it’s a beautiful (and important) part of our journey. We practice healing others so we can learn to self-heal. The problem is, many empaths get stuck in this phase, the ego becoming so attached and identified with being needed as a “healer” that we self-sabotage our own relationships (and ultimately, ourselves).

Needing to be needed is the ultimate block to receiving and can wreak havoc on our creativity, sexuality, and weight. This happens because our entire identity is wrapped up in “helping” others, and we lose our connection to our own creative life force (which always MOVES, evolves, and changes). 

The biggest problem with this pitfall is the ego’s denial of the problem. One who has a healer complex prefers to be a victim to the overwhelming needs of others, because the ego believes itself to be a martyr for the “greater good.” In reality, we typically overlook our own shadow, wants, desires, and disappointments, in favor of being possessed by others.

Because of not knowing how to receive in a balanced way, we inadvertently drink the energy of our clients and friends by always needed to “fix” them. It’s quite an unhealthy place for us to remain for too long. If you’re there, don’t beat yourself up. Simply recognize your need to learn how to give/receive in balanced ways and begin interacting accordingly.

What would happen if you let go of your “healer/helper/empath” identity? If the thought sends you into a panic, it’s a good sign your relationships are off balance and some new alignment (and better gifts) are waiting for you on the other side of the upgrade.

Who wants to be tired all the time anyway? Do you really want to continue to feel like nobody knows you? Maybe it’s time to open up. Let yourself be more than “sensitive” “a good friend” or “helper.” While those are all beautiful qualities, we are also SO MUCH MORE.

What does your gut say? Who are you deep down?

Just something to think about.


Happy Tuesday!





9 thoughts on “5 Painful Pitfalls of Being an Empath

  1. good to read such clarity on these habits and matters, thank you! and poignant timing for me…. thank you amanda, you work is so door opening for me!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s