For the past month I’ve been in the Chakra Cleanse process, and I can honestly say it has been more intense (in the most subtle, almost inconceivable ways) than any other practice I have implemented as an empath.
Perhaps most surprising, has been working with the throat chakra. Usually my most open chakra, I was shocked to realize that there was a deep inconsistency and distrust in my energetic/empathic body. Not because I’m afraid to say what I think/feel, but because I so often allow myself to be wrapped-up entirely too deeply in the emotions/thoughts/feelings of those around me, that my own voice tends to get tuned-out. It happens subtly, in a way that causes me to barely notice that the feelings I am so passionately integrating are most often NOT EVEN MINE.
I know this is a gift of empathy, to be able to feel others emotions as if they are your own, but I didn’t realize there was a little place in me with feelings and emotions all my own — the empath in me that also has its own powerful, unique identity. Though we are all one/connected, we are also individuals, and part of the joy of living is expressing our independent selves.
Perhaps I was over-spiritualizing the “oneness” factor, but what I’ve realized as I’ve worked on cleansing old emotions/thoughts/habits out of my throat chakra, is that there is an entire aspect of my personality lying dormant within me.
As I tried to give it a voice, all I could do was cry. And I felt angry, too. Not at anyone or anything, but simply because that part of me has been cheated, repeatedly, out of its own, authentic experience.
Never before have I so passionately longed to erase everyone’s emotions and feelings out of my experience. I realized I need a break from tuning-in to others, and my inner self, the “me” within that is part of the whole, needs to be fully seen, felt, experienced — allowed a voice.
I’ve stopped doing readings. I’ve taken a break from friends. I’ve ceased asking too many deep questions to others that get me wrapped into their emotional body. Not because it’s wrong to do that or because I don’t care but because it is not my job. Perhaps I’ve created too much of an identity as a “good friend” — the perpetual side-kick for anyone going through a hard time. I thought I had shed that skin, but my throat chakra cleanse revealed to me that though I may have backed off from rescuing others, I still haven’t fully allowed my inner-self to speak — the self that does not identify “empathy” with “no self.”
For the first time in a VERY long time, I finally feel like I’m grounding into my very own SELF. And this self feels like a haven. I have never been more thankful and appreciative of the ego, and its role in our experience as humans. It’s not a negative thing — it’s what makes this life uniquely OUR experience –OUR lesson.
My new mantra has been: “I allow my ego to be an extension of my most powerful inner truth.”
And as for my throat chakra, let’s just say a new chapter has begun. I feel like I’ve unclogged 27 years of other emotional excess from hanging out in other people’s emotional experiences. I’m thankful for the lessons, but I’m happy to move on.
Looking forward to working up to the third eye — because what i tune-into now is my own destiny — my own path. And I’m thankful to finally make friend with my ego — it’s been a long time coming.
Self– I’ve missed you. Thank you for allowing me time to part ways with identity in other people’s eyes so I could discover who you truly are!
PS. Because I still get asked, I’ve decided to continue to open up the Chakra Cleanse class for those who still want to join-in. Anyone who is part of this “experimental” class ($33) will get the full program ($333) for free when it is released.