A spider doesn’t allow a careless swipe from a wayward wind, to keep it from continuing its masterpiece. A spider will always weave.
In many ways, Chakra Center feels like my first public web.
Despite its unpolished and unrefined appearance, it’s is my small platform to say, “Yes. We do exist. We’re not alone. And although it may not be clear yet, we’re doing something epic on the planet. Wait and see!”
As we heal the wounds from our own lives, we hold a new space of love and understanding for humanity. (I believe the Bible calls us, “intercessors”). But we must have our whole heart with us on the journey. We must be truthful about our needs, and we must love ourselves enough to discern between our deepest desires, and our casual wishes. Finally, we must allow our desires to matter. Because they do.
“Above all else, watch over your heart. For it is the well-spring of life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Unfortunately, most negative programming is designed to make us doubt and condemn our true desires (which is counterproductive to the principle of creation, as it is desire that fuels life).
This photoshoot marks a shift in my willingness to be vulnerable with my desires and to trust the Universe is for my healing and restoration.
It’s all quite magical how it manifested, actually. Here’s a quick synopsis:
(Logged PRIVATE DETECTIVE style, for the sake of brevity):
A dear friend of mine happens to be in Colorado while I am there visiting my brother. We decide to meet-up on Halloween day, at Tonic Oxygen Bar in Boulder.
Just before connecting, I find an ISIS oracle deck at a nearby shop. It practically jumps off the shelf for me.
I take out the deck while a woman wearing cat ears serves our drinks.
We pull a card.
MIRACLE of ISIS: Miraculous Healing of the Goddess.
“Isis was known as a talented practitioner of the healing arts and was capable of miraculous healing. No matter how impossible it may seem to imagine your life without this old wound, addiction, problem, relationship issue, or inner struggle, you are guided now to accept the possibility of miraculous healing, to let go and let the Goddess be…
Healing means letting go of attachment to outcome and how that outcome might be achieved, and opening to the Divine genius of healing that seeks to express the perfection of Divine Love through you now.
To hand something over for healing, especially when it has been a long-term or persistent difficulty, or simply seems to be too great or overwhelming to be healed, takes a radical change of mind and heart! To dare to hope without becoming attached to how or when something can happen, to surrender without forgetting to follow your intuition and act accordingly, to trust even though you may have been disappointed or hurt in the past – all these things take skill and courage.
Yet these are the requirements for us to surrender into the great healing of Divine Love. Lady Isis speaks through this Oracle and says to you that recovery from trauma and emotional healing is not only possible, but if you are willing, it can happen for you now. No matter the depth of grief, loss, despair, fear or anger, Love can and will absorb all of it.
This Oracle is also an indication that a spiritual gift of awakening of deep healing ability at a new level, are coming your way. Keep your eyes and heart open and let go of doubt or fear about opening up to a new level of proficiency. Dedicate your work to Divine Love and trust that it will flow through you stronger now. You are capable of great work when you trust in your heart and the love of the Divine flowing through you with total surrender.”
(Side note: Doesn’t the depiction of Isis in the card look like (@dakotajohnson ) ?!
Everything about this card resonates. In fact, here’s a quick backstory:
The first time I met Kelly was at a coffee shop in Sedona. I was on my way to the Conscious Life Expo in LA with Charis Melina Brown (featured in photos) and a couple Alchemists. We got in line behind a girl with long blonde hair who turned and smiled warmly in a gesture of recognition. Turns out she had seen my YouTube videos, and knew Charis.
“You’ve helped me remember I’m not alone.” She said as Charis officially introduced us. “Not many out there navigating these waters with clarity.”
Log of events:
A couple months later Kelly arrives at a retreat I am hosting with Charis in Sedona. She places a tiny rhodonite crystal in my left hand. I feel an electric pulse go up my arm and into my heart. My eyes instantly swell with tears, which she mirrored to me in her expression.
“I know.” She smiled. “I had a feeling you needed it. It’s a deep one.”
Colorado Plants the Seed:
Now we are here, in Colorado, another unplanned encounter.
I wonder many times during our conversation if we are dead, or if I am crazy. It feels like a vivid dream and all of our connections and resonance feels attached to another time and place.
A bee stings me a few days later when she visits at my brother’s house. She gives me lavender essential oil to soothe the burn.
“Bee medicine.” I say as I dabble the oil on the sting and hold back tears. “They told me they were going to do it.” Which is true. Just a day earlier, one particularly curious bee had flown around me obsessively with what felt like urgent news. When I asked what he wanted, I simply felt a statement: “Standard procedure. Expect a sting soon.”
I am not sure why the ordeal makes me emotional, but a deep feeling of grief rises and is soothed, simultaneously as Kelly hands me another crystal. This time rose quartz.
“I have boxes of rose quartz waiting to be showcased.” She told me, before driving off.
Seed plants successfully.
It’s 5 months later.
I receive a vision of rose quartz photographed around the wisdom of red rock (Sedona’s calls always feel vivid and aromatic).
I know the photographer I want. I know the perfect designer. I know the ideal model. I know Kelly has rose quartz that wants to be photographed. I’m not sure how the trip will manifest, but it does. Everyone can make the dates, the house we want is available for rent, the money to pay for the shoot arrives. The Universe gives us a green light.
Everyone weaving the creation on the shoot is an empath. Trusting others with our gifts is where we’ve been wounded. Our shared vulnerability and sensitivity creates early, respectful bonds.
The magic begins to unfold.
If Chakra Center marks the beginning of my death, this photoshoot represents the genesis of my rebirth.
The butterfly comes out of the cocoon.
You know how Oprah always asks, “What do you know for sure?”?
Sedona reminded me of one thing I do know for sure: our hearts always seek restoration.
Many thanks to the rose quartz for calling us together for a proper initiation. How fitting to begin here, with the heart of creation, at the base of Cathedral Rock, celebrating new and renewed life. I love the Goddess in her many changing forms.
This table is mostly empty, but I invite you to the evolving feast.
This is only the beginning.
*Stay tuned for my upcoming interview with Charis Melina Brown. We will be talking all things magic, shadow integration, witches duels, and what it feels like to transcend the “Victim/Villain/Savior” paradigm.
Can’t wait to see you there.
Producer: Amanda Flaker (Chakra Center)
Photographer: Maddie Beeton
Model: Charis Melina Brown
Set Designer: Ashley Flaker