Excerpt from the 6 Week Abundance Training course (week 3) *Originally shared on Abundance Matrix:
I can honestly say I was not expecting this much *actual* psychic connection and healing, but what a profound and palpable way to experience the dynamics of our astral grid.
When I refer to “our grid” (or network) I’m referencing the “astral highways” we’ve traveled that connected us.
These highways represent the ideals and beliefs that connect us psychically, and reveal to us how our personal beliefs (especially the unconscious ones) absolutely DO affect and influence each other.
As we become aware of our unconscious programs and correct them, our astral reality feels strengthened and secure. What was once a war zone feels like a realm of peace and positive co creation (the building of heaven on earth).
My astral experience with you these past few weeks made it absolutely clear that the intentions our tribe imbued on this planet is medicine for the soul and an antidote to the fear we’ve all been programmed with.
Remember, the antidote always has a bit of the poison within it.
I believe this is why we were programmed with lack…so we could overcome it.
Once we overcome the fear of our creative/psychic abilities, we are immune to the program of lack. It looses hold and power over our lives and can no longer hypnotize us to do its bidding.
Conscious psychic power is what naturally happens when a collective consciousness self actualizes.
Now that we have a strong anchor in our psychic connection, let’s turn our attention to the restoration, healing, and security of our grid.
The network of Heaven on Earth is rooted in Abundance and Peace (not lack and war). It strengthens and supports us (it doesn’t condemn and punish). Heaven allows space for processing, healing, integration, and understanding.
Heaven support life.
The more strategic, intentional, and creative we can be with our psychic/creative power individually, the more we strengthen the power of our network.
As our network strengthens, our creative energy flows freely (and we can use our power to fuel solutions rather intensify the psychic war).
When we rebuild trust and connection with creative energy, our matrix feels more secure, natural, creative, powerful, and life-giving.
Alternatively, when we block our creative power through fear, guilt, and shame, life feels dull, boring, pointless, and ultimately enslaving. Our creative inheritance is wasted and squandered in lack.
Today I dive deep into the workings of the Astral Grid; what makes it secure, what weakens it, and how we can connect to it consciously.
I know it’s a lot to take in.
Go at your own pace.
Pay attention to when you’ve reached info overload and pause, go for a walk, take a break from the material.
Trust your heart.
No need to marathon this (unless you truly desire to).
More to come on Thursday!
PS. If you feel called to deeper training in this abundance reality, I have 3 mentoring spots open in September, and 3 individual session spots. Email me to find out more.
This past week I’ve been preparing for my “11 Day Emotional Detox“ (which starts on Jan 1st) and came up against residual receiving blocks/old emotional wounds.
These particular past beliefs/programs had been healed but not cleared out of my auric field. Old thoughts/programs show up in weird ways, and rather than tackling them for another go around, it’s imperative to simply release — let them die — and to RECEIVE the upgraded conscious perspective.
To die is to be reborn, but old beliefs operate so efficiently to create and recreate the same story that we must be conscious about which beliefs we allow to take residence in our lives. Clearing an old program is simply to let it die, every time in comes up, until eventually, the neural pathway is undone.
Clearing out old beliefs only becomes hard if we have an emotional attachment to the storyline — the death requires us to trust that the new version of our story is actually better for us — because it is TRUE for us NOW.
Death of old perspectives is a crucial step to receive the fullness of our heart’s restoration (remember, we attract at the frequency we vibrate, and EMOTIONS attract faster and more accurately to our deepest beliefs than any practice or thought).
Sometimes we have to allow aspects of our thoughts/consciousness to die, so we can receive the “upgraded” parts of ourselves we’ve been praying for.
Receiving the upgrade is rapture. Here it all makes sense. Here we come from the heart. Here we forgive. Here we trust. Here we embody the greatest and most powerful form of Love: Self-Love. Here we remember we are all one.
It may sound simple, but if we don’t know how to receive (or confront our blocks to receiving) we can unwittingly sabotage our efforts in lining-up with our heart’s true passions/desires.
It gets wonky when we’re this close — really knowing how to use Universal Energies/Consciousness and feeling deeply into our emotional body — because everything is amplified. We have a tremendous amount of energy we’ve tapped into (Source itself) but if we don’t fully trust ourselves with it (or trust the Source from whence it came) we’re liable to get some serious backlash (namely, our own). Nothing we can’t clean up instantly, of course (it’s all about the NOW, after all), but hidden fears or repressed guilt/shame are the two biggest factors in blocking our progress (and they can be incredibly painful blocks too, because at this point, we’ve built up incredible, conscious momentum).
The heart is key. If we can’t trust love (our ability to receive and give love) we will never be the truly powerful creators/avatars we know to be.
Your kingdom is only as big as your auric field is allowed to grow.
Think of RECEIVING/TRUST as a prerequisite to embodiment of our heart’s true home.
PS. This audio is from my “Empathic Communication” online class — thought it might be helpful.
Last April I taught a live, online class on healing and empowering the sacral chakra (for women only). I have been asked to make the class available again, so I decided to sell the archives for half the price of the original class.
The course focuses on:
*Deleting shame/guilt programs stored in our Sacral Chakra
*Acknowledging and soothing sexual trauma
*Igniting our passions/dreams/desires
*Understanding the power of our sexual energy
*How to tap into the creative power of the sacral chakra (without guilt!)
*Transmuting negative energy in the sacral chakra to a more positive flow/experience with the world
*Allowing our creative/sexual energy to flow freely
*Plus some resources I’ve found incredibly helpful in empowering my sacral chakra!
The material is geared toward women, but men who want to understand more about their feminine energies, or female partners might gain a lot perspective.
Although the class won’t be taught live, all information is available to go through at your own pace. Once registered, you will receive an email with access to a password protected page to all class material.
Start your New Year with newly empowered passion. You deserve to be free!
Empower Your Sacral Chakra $22
Interested in more online classes for empaths? Click here.
ONLINE TRAINING FOR EMPATHS
For anyone who wants to go deep and learn how I regularly clear and detox my emotional body of excess emotional energy, stress, and overthinking. Only $11!
Explore what it means to be a master energy communicator, how empathic abilities can help in conscious manifestation, and how empaths are laying the ground work for telepathic communication
(geared toward empowered/skilled empaths)
Understand your empathic abilities, focus on healing past emotional wounds, utilize the power of Shadow Integration, and discover tools to help you thrive!
Learn about the role of emotions in creating reality, how emotions fuel our point of attraction, the importance of self-trust/healing, the role of desire in creation, the power of NOW, and practices that help remove common blocks to manifesting.
“So far I’ve been a part of two of Amanda’s courses. Both have been extremely helpful in my journey and have opened up places of healing as well as places of growth in areas I didn’t even know I needed it. Her courses have shown me ways in which I can empower myself and in turn empower others as well. I’ve also connected with an awesome community through these as well! Her online classes feel extremely personal and connected. I would highly suggest taking any of her courses if you’re new to this field, have some experience, or are simply looking to connect. I don’t know a single person who couldn’t benefit from taking Amanda’s courses.” – Ryan Nolan, New York
“Amanda Flaker, I don’t think I’ve told you how much your work has helped me. Very specifically in the last week I was driving the 84 miles home from LA and I realized there was no trigger anymore when the image of the PEST (person exhibiting sociopath tendencies) came to mind.
The thing that is really significant for me (other than the obvious, that I am doing really well in my home town again) is how clear everything is around this person, compared with the other people who have been triggers for me in my life. Some people I am still working through – some have taken years. But this one, which was so extreme and almost life-ending, this one is clear. And I have no doubt this is due to the work you have shared so generously with all of us. Thank you.” Michaele S. – California
” [Empowering Empathic Abilities] is a fantastic course for empaths looking to understand their inner abilities, thus helping to understand oneself more. It is said that the discovery of self dwarfs the descent of Everest, and this class for me, helped in beginning my climb.” Tabitha Johnson, Colorado
“[How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath] is awesome – that’s all I can say. Amanda is a gift and such a beautiful soul. Her courses are invaluable on the subject of empaths. I have known her for a couple of years and her work has been hugely helpful to me.” Natalia Clark, England
“I’m loving the class, Amanda. I’m learning so much about myself and about current issues I’m encountering. I’m gaining a whole new perspective that I’m super grateful for. Thank you.” Cheryl W., BC
“Amanda is a beautiful soul with an amazing gift and I feel blessed to have connected with her. I have had three soul readings from her. The accuracy of the readings were phenomenal. She truly could read my soul. She picked up on all my vulnerabilities in a compassionate sensitive way. Each time I had a reading she was able to uncover and assist in healing a deeper layer of blockages. After every session I felt elated and had the complete confidence to know that I could use the tools she had given me to continue to work on myself. I can truly say that Amanda has helped to transform my life. I now feel empowered to move forward and also confident in the knowledge that whenever I do encounter life’s obstacles Amanda’s tools will assist me in overcoming them. I would highly recommended Amanda.” Ann Elizabeth, England
NOW AVAILABLE AS A PRE-RECORDED CLASS.
One of the most potent tools I’ve discovered as an empath is the power of a regular emotional detox. Most of us don’t realize that just because we feel something, we don’t have to hold on to it. We tend to think of emotions as possessions, rather than vibrational messages that move through us.
Emotions are not meant to be hoarded, nor are they meant to be used as an excuse to hide from the world. We get to choose what we feel and how long we feel it. I know that may sound completely foreign to those of us who allow emotions to control and run our lives, but it IS possible to live a life where emotions are our friends, not our masters.
From Jan. 1st – Jan 11th I’ll be doing an 11 day emotional detox program for anyone who wants to go deep and learn how I regularly clear and detox my emotional body of excess emotional energy, stress, and overthinking.
(Anyone who signs-up after Jan. 1st can go through the material at their own pace, but will still gain access to the private Facebook forum, my personal videos on my process, and all class material).
Here are a just a few of things we’ll be covering:
*Massaging your reality: Literally, through physically creating a space that feels good/clear, and metaphorically, through quick visualizations/meditation techniques that helps us create a clear emotional space in our homes and energetic bodies (I promise this process feels amazing! It’s worth it to take time to make sure your physical space feels good to you in every way).
*Make Contact with the “Earth” and her spirits: The healing power of nature is well documented and important for emotional detoxing. But also, the subtle energetic power of nature’s etheric energy has a potent cleansing, healing, and empowering effect on the emotional body and auric field (if we learn how to harmonize with her). I’m not saying you have to believe in fairies, but even the act of visualizing and researching their famous tales is a way to understand subtle nature energy and how it works. It’s all a metaphor, and an important language to speak if we want to make friends/harmonize with our life-giving mother.
*Flirt with the hologram: I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard empaths and highly sensitive people say they hate this planet, this life, this existence, because it’s TOO HARD. Interestingly enough, the ones who aren’t lining-up to what this life has to offer, are getting sick and dying. They’re giving up. Which I understand, if you believe in a world you are powerless to change and only at the mercy of every emotional energy that comes your way, but there IS an entirely different reality we can live in.
I choose to live in a world where I choose what I think and feel. I also consciously create experiences that feel good and I turn my sensitivities on to their keenest perception so I can REALLY enjoy what this experience (and my empathic abilities) have to offer. I’m not talking about spiritually bypassing and pretending the world is perfect. I know there is contrast and I bless it – because it is that very contrast that lets me experience the joys and poetry and beauty of this world. The lows teach me about compassion and real love. The highs remind me of where I come from and who I really am.
One of my keys to enjoying life as an empath is to flirt with the hologram, with ALL my sensitivities intact and fully on. I enjoy the roses, stop and smell them, let them intoxicate me with delight – I feel them with all the emotional and sensitive energy I have. I empath their beauty and their existence, and in those moments, what it means to “be” somehow makes sense (because it no longer “has” to).
I enjoy food, art, music, relationships, the alchemy of the sun and moon – a star-filled night. I flirt with her beauty. And I’ve found the earth loves that. This whole experience is offering us gifts of magic all the time, and if we’re always focused on “the harsh reality” we miss it – all of it. It’s okay to enjoy the experience of living. And it’s okay to hurt too. There is beauty in all of it. You don’t have to choose one or the other – both are here for the taking.
This stanza from one of my favorite Wallace Stevens poems pretty much sums it up for me:
“Why should she give her bounty to the dead?
What is divinity if it can come
Only in silent shadows and in dreams?
Shall she not find in comforts of the sun,
In pungent fruit and bright, green wings, or else
In any balm or beauty of the earth,
Things to be cherished like the thought of heaven?
Divinity must live within herself:
Passions of rain, or moods in falling snow;
Grievings in loneliness, or unsubdued
Elations when the forest blooms; gusty
Emotions on wet roads on autumn nights;
All pleasures and all pains, remembering
The bough of summer and the winter branch.
These are the measures destined for her soul.”
*Have “familiars”: There’s a reason why every witch has her black cat, wizards have their owls, and men have dogs as their best friend. When we touch point with the external reality, it’s soothing on our emotional body to have familiars around, to explore the adventure together.
Familiars can be anything from plants to crystals or pets. They can even be “imaginary” or etheric (making friends with your guardian angels, for example). Whatever form they take, it’s helpful to have familiars by your side in this life – ESPECIALLY as an empath. Empaths tend to be solitary people, but the paradox is we are hard-wired for relationships. Often the soft, calming energy of a cat or dog, crystals or plants, gives us the opportunity to flex our empathic sensitivities with energy that feels safe and comforting to do so. Creating a regular emotional detox program involves the use of familiars because they are the golden key.
So there you have it: The basic outline of my emotional detox program.
Want to go deeper? Learn more? Develop your own routine that’s just right for you? Join my emotional detox cleanse Jan. 1st – Jan 11th where I share my personal routine, how I alternate and change form regularly (to avoid stagnation), and how you can create a personalized detox program to avoid empathic burnout.
This is an online course. Once you register you will receive a link to a password protected page that will give you access to all class material. Except the link within 24 hours.
11 Day Emotional Detox for Empaths $11
(Expect a welcome email within 24 hours)
And for a bit more on my emotional detox tips, check out this video:
This week I have a challenge for us.
We live in a vibrational universe, right? And we’re vibrational begins. And as empaths, we just happen to be vibrational linguists. So what if we decided to improve, sharpen, and hone our vibrational skills with OURSELVES this week? The term “empath” automatically conjures up associations with others. But, riddle me this: what is an empath by themselves?
The problem with even using the term “empath” is that it is limiting. It also implies we’re somehow different than other people. And while of course, it might be true to an extent, it is not fundamentally true, because we all come from the same Source. Hence why we have vibration. Vibration is the “true” essence of all things, including us, and even what we call being “empathic” is just a specific expression of vibration.
What if this week we chose to start an intentional/conscious vibrational dialogue with ourselves at regular intervals throughout the day? Set the timer on your phone if you have to, and at least every two hours do a vibrtaional check-in.
*Where am I vibrationally?
*What kind of vibration am I swimming in right now?
*Does it feel good to me? Do I feel dominantly negative or positive?
*How can I adjust my vibration?
*Am I breathing deeply?
*Is my energy expanding out, or shrinking in?
This is basically a way to see how our vibrational conversation with the Universe is going. The Universe is responding AT ALL TIMES to our vibration, and matching it, so it would behoove us to check-in on the conversation. This is more of “feeling” conversation than it is a logical one. And it’s a great opportunity to use our keen sensitivities and linguistic skills to converse consciously with the Universe.
I shared this challenge in my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath“ online class. I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.
To have true authority and empowerment in our lives, it’s crucial to balance our masculine and feminine energies. Many empaths and highly sensitive people allow their energies to get extremely out of balance, being controlled by emotions and not allowing our more masculine energies to provide boundaries/structure.
Masculine energy is crucial to balance – especially for empaths and highly sensitive people, (or anyone who comes from an abusive background).
Here are 3 Tips to help balance these energies:
- Choose to take authority: A lot of us forget we have authority over our lives/actions/decisions. When we allow our emotions or sensitivities to control us, we often feel at the mercy of external forces, but being highly sensitive is not an excuse to be lazy about our energy. Once we realize our thoughts/feelings/and emotions are creating and influencing the way we experience this reality, the more crucial it becomes to own our power. Direct and conscious force of will comes from our masculine energy, and it’s important to use our masculine energy to provide balance, structure, and boundaries for our creative, powerful feminine energy. We have authority to choose what we allow ourselves to feel and focus on. We have authority to choose how we will respond to the world around us. Claim that authority.
- Will peace and good things to flow into your life (don’t wait to FEEL them): So many of us (especially if we’ve been abused or are highly sensitive/empathic) grew up feeling as if we were at the mercy of everyone else’s will – like we had no will of our own. This alone is the root of most of our issues: our problem with co-dependency, our tendency to be led like sheep, allowing others to overpower us, and not seeing/allowing or acknowledging our strength to come forth. We have to choose to WILL things in our life, and not wait to feel like doing something – or wait to feel like we’re powerful. This is crucial if we are to truly be empowered. We can choose peace. We can will ourselves to be free from every whim of emotion. We can use our strength to WILL positive energies into our lives. When we make a firm decision to choose good things for us, our emotions/feelings will catch-up. Once we trust our will (or masculine energy) to choose what’s in our best interest, our more sensitive/creative side will learn to trust us and will be free to flow toward joy.
- Use your words wisely and with intention: How we speak and feel about ourselves determines (to an astronomical proportion) whether we feel empowered and confident, or disempowered and weak. A lot of highly sensitive people (and empaths) refer to themselves in incredibly disempowering terms. Again, this typically stems from abuse, and we’ve learned to use our sensitivities/weakness as a way to get others to love us. Often, being “in need” or helpless, is the only way we experience the intimacy we so crave. We’ve had to learn this in order survive. But there comes a time when it no longer works. Eventually others tire of always having to rescue us, and we tire of being the weakest link. It’s time to take responsibility for our lives in every manor, and this includes how we speak about ourselves. Notice your self talk. Notice what you say after “I am” and how you describe yourself to others. If we continue to use words like “too sensitive” or “scared” or “overwhelmed” – we will never have freedom. Don’t use your sensitivities as an excuse to a victim.
Stepping into our power is stepping out of a victim vibration and into responsibility. We must do it with love and compassion, but do it, nonetheless. If we use our will and our authority over ourselves to demean, put down, and demonize our sensitivities, we will never be able to fully trust and ground into our strength – and our strength will never trust our emotional power. As long as we are at war with ourselves, our lives and relationships will continue to reflect the conflict.
Make peace with your masculine and feminine energy. See their mutual power and remember that one is always less without the other. Once we begin to trust our strength and our sensitivities, we will truly step into empowerment.
If you want to go deeper into learning about how to stay balanced/empowered/and healthy as an empath, check out the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath“ online class.
This is one of the latest blogs I wrote for Modbod. I thought it pertained to empaths so I wanted to share it here as well:
When Helping is Destructive
“The worst thing you can do for those you love is the things they could and should do themselves.” Abraham Lincoln
When someone we love struggles, we want to help. From an evolutionary standpoint, helping is our most basic instinct because in order for the group to survive, the individual must thrive.
At some point in each of our lives there comes a time when we need assistance. but what exactly is beneficial help and how can we discern when we’re giving it?
Here are 3 examples of beneficial help:
*Beneficial help does not foster dependence: Making anyone feel they need us fosters unhealthy dependence and ultimately impedes growth. As the old saying goes, “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” It is important to make sure our help actually empowers those we love to be self-sufficient and to trust in their own abilities.
*Beneficial help knows when to say no: Sometimes saying NO is the most helpful thing we can do for another. Offering to help when it only enables one to continue in unhealthy patterns is ultimately destructive. Refusing to enable another is the best form of help we can give, even if the one we refuse does not understand that we say no out of love.
*Beneficial help does not come from a place of guilt: If we feel guilt to help another, we aren’t doing them any favors – especially when the person we try to help is the one laying on the blame: “if you really loved me, you would do this for me.” If we constantly need to prove our love by what we do for another, it’s not help, it’s delaying their understanding of their own value by agreeing to their idea of conditional love.
It’s easy to feel overly responsible for helping others, but it is important to understand that often in our attempts to help, we make things worse. Sometimes in order for people to truly learn the lessons they are meant to learn, it is crucial they fall. If we are constantly rescued out of our problems and circumstances, we never get to see what we’re truly made of.
A couple weeks ago I wrote an article titled: “Empaths Forgot Their Power” and within just a couple of hours, it had been shared over 4 thousand times on Facebook!
I knew I struck a cord when my inbox began flooding with people expressing a common theme: feeling alone and isolated as an empath and unable to truly understand themselves. That’s when I realized a deeper contact is asking to be made — a closer connection and a network needs to form that is more cohesive and supportive.
Currently, my “Empowering Empaths” online Facebook group has over 800 members, but only about 10 people who regularly post/share. Although I love the connection we’ve made and the fact that we’ve created a platform TO share and connect, I realize it’s just not as intimate and close as I’d like it to be. I still get a lot of people emailing me privately with their questions, rather than posting and sharing with the group.
So here’s what I’ve decided to do:
Along with my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath“ online course, I am going to open a private mentoring group for all the people who have pre-registered. This group will be a place where we can EMPOWER and support each other on a more personal, intimate level. Not merely a place to post articles or talk about our problems, but a place where we can share our strengths, our practices, and even our triumphs, as well as get the encouragement we need when we’re feeling vulnerable and alone.
I will be posting videos regularly and opening up on a much deeper (and more personal) level about my life as well. My intention is to connect with the people who TRULY want to connect deeper, not just be an anonymous bystander who never particulates and is unwilling to to open up.
Empaths, we need each other. And not in the co-dependent, draining way we’re use to being needed, but for true empowerment and courage. We need to know we’re not alone in our sensitivities, and that there are people who not only know how to ‘cope’ with their gifts, but THRIVE. We need to know we can consciously create an epic life with our thoughts and emotions, and that being sensitive actually gives us an advantage in the manifestation department – we only need to learn to consciously direct our focus and emotions on what we WANT to feel, rather than feel we are forced to swim in every emotion that comes our way.
There is so much more to living an empowered, empathic life that “shielding and protecting” and’ just doing your best to not get hurt’ don’t even touch on. I’m so tired of that BS. We are a soul family and we have codes each other needs. Think of the Hundredth Monkey Effect — once one of us get the code for thriving and shows another how to do it, it can spread like wildfire. Think of how different life could feel if empaths were empowered!
If you are ready to go deeper and connect with your empath family on a more soulful level, you can join the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class and be added to my mentoring group for 2 months of free mentoring. Please don’t join if you’re going to be a passive participant — we need to hear/see/experience each other so we know we’re out there. Come with your whole heart. I look forward to connecting!
I talk a little bit about the group in this audio:
Click here to sign-up for the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class!
Last week I posted an article on some of the differences between empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP) which went viral in our little community.
Many people responded with comments like “It’s about time someone talked about this!” While others were a bit confused: “Wait. I was told I’m empathic, but now after reading this, I’m not so sure.”
In this audio I wanted to clear up any confusion, and expand again on some of the points I was attempting to make in the article.
Feel free to comment, like, question, or offer any feedback you have. Let’s keep the conversation going!
To dive deeper into your empathic abilities, check-out my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath” online class!
NOTE: This article was written a few years ago when I was still in the process of dealing with my own anger and out of balance relationships with HSP. Much of my views have softened, expanded, and changed since then, but I leave it up because I know how many empaths go through this phase in their journey to get free, and every perspective along the way is valid.
The term empath and “highly sensitive person” often get lumped together, but they are not the same thing..
Most experts agree all empaths are highly sensitive, but not all highly sensitive people are empaths. Here’s the distinction:
A HSP is sensitive and primarily reactive to the energy around them. Dr. Elaine Aron, the originator of the term, defines it this way:
While all empaths are highly sensitive to energy, the difference is in their ability to feel and perceive another person’s actual feelings. Empaths, therefore, are more extrasensory and possess at least one significant gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be in the emotional/mental/or physical body of another– literally feeling what the other is experiencing.
This is not to be confused with basic empathy. All humans have the ability to empathize (minus sociopaths, which is an inability to comprehend another’s emotions). Example: If a friend looses their child, most humans have the ability to empathize with the tragedy, even if they themselves have never experienced a significant loss. An empath, on the other hand, might literally feel what the friend is going through in their body – the anxiety, sadness, and emotional pain mimicking in the empaths system as if they themselves were directly experiencing the loss. If the friend has a headache from crying, the empath may develop a headache as well.
See the difference?
A highly sensitive person, on the other hand, may cry and feel overwhelmed by the idea of losing a child – but due to their sensitive nervous systems, a HSP (especially if they have unhealed emotional wounds from childhood) may go into a downward spiral, taking the friend’s tragedy and making it about them “I don’t want to live in this world anymore, it’s too hard.” At this point they are not in the friend’s emotional experience, but simply using the friend’s loss as an excuse to feel their own pain.
I’m not suggesting that all HSP misappropriate emotions, but MANY do. A HSP may be triggered by the energy around them, but from that point they remain in their own emotional body/nervous system, experiencing the world through the lens of their intensely emotional and reactive world. Because of this, HSP are often lost in how they feel, unable to have a direct experience of another person’s literal experience.
Both empaths and HSP often have a difficult time dealing with emotions, and having a highly sensitive nature does not automatically make us a saint (I’m going to talk about the dark side of empathic abilities in another article but for now, I want to focus on the dark side of HSP).
Because HSP are highly reactive to energy, they often project their extreme sensitivity onto others, assuming others feel what they themselves are merely projecting. Meanwhile, as they remain consumed by their emotionally reactive state, they often entirely miss what the other is feeling. They won’t even realize they’ve changed the focus to themselves and will often think they are simply validating the other person, when in reality, they are lost in their own reaction – incapable of even noticing they have changed the subject.
In my experience, HSP actually have a difficult time reading other people’s emotions accurately. While they are highly attuned to subtle energy (maybe picking up from body movement that a person is uncomfortable or upset) they will often piece together a story in their head about WHY the person is acting the way they are, usually based on their own emotional state in the moment. Because they are highly sensitive/reactive, HSP often make huge assumptions about what other people feel, when in actuality, they’re merely projecting their own fears and insecurities.
Where empaths typically have a difficult time accessing how they themselves feel (due to being lost in other people’s energy/emotions), an unhealed/unskilled HSP is nearly incapable of separating their own emotions/sensitivities from others, especially if they are in an emotional trigger.
It is especially difficult for a HSP person to realize the extreme level to which they project if they THINK they are empathic. In fact, one of the worst combinations (in my experience) is when an unhealed/unskilled HSP believes they are empathic. Now their projection/misapplication of emotions is fueled with a belief that they are, in fact, accurate in their assumptions and even possess some special, extra sensory gift.
Aye, yi, yi.
I’m not suggesting empaths don’t project. We all project to an extent, especially when we’re triggered or insecure. But for HSP, projecting often becomes the main modality for protecting themselves from the world. If they can place the cause of their highly reactive natures “out there” somewhere, they feel less overwhelmed (it also keeps them from having to take responsibility for their own emotions/projections).
For the sake of our mental and emotional health, it is crucial we not only understand the difference between HSP and empaths, but properly identify where we are on the spectrum. As noted above, all empaths are highly sensitive in nature, so they may slip into reactive tendencies like projecting. But usually an empath has the opposite problem – rather than projecting their emotions out, they draw other people’s emotions in (and get lost in the process).
For an empath, an unhealed/unskilled HSP is often the most draining type of person to be around. The strong emotional projection and reactive nature of the HSP triggers an empath’s negative tendency to feel they must take care of the other person’s emotions. In fact, relationships between HSP and empaths can be the most co-dependent (if both parties are not skilled in dealing with their sensitivities), with the HSP constantly needing the empath to validate their intensely sensitive natures, and the empath feeling responsible for HSP feelings.
When an empath does take time away from the HSP (or begins to have boundaries), the unskilled HSP will take the action extremely personal, interpreting the act to be directly against them and often behaving in passive aggressive ways toward the empath. Because HSP reactions are so emotionally intense, the empath often feels the energetic aggression as psychic attack.
An empath, when feeling the energy of another, literally feels what the other feels (rather than simply noticing social dynamics, energy, or subtle body movements), so shaking off the negative projection of a HSP can be especially difficult for an empath.
While an HSP can be kind and compassionate, their emotional stance and energy is typically on the defense (self-protective mode), so if the person they are attempting to “help” says or does something that triggers them, they are unable to stay (empathically) with the other, and instead launch into their own emotional body/wounds/and triggers. In my experience, this is the KEY difference between empaths and HSP.
If you constantly feel hurt and offended by other people and take make their energy/decisions/words personal (to the point where it affects your mental/emotional peace) chances are you are a HSP.
The trick for a HSP is not to put a personal story to every movement in the world around you. It’s important to learn not only to deescalate reactions and validate how you feel, but also release the storyline/meaning you give the experience. It’s the interpretation we give the energy that is painful, not the energy itself.
For empaths, the challenge is separating ourselves from other people’s emotions long enough to recognize our own. This is especially important when dealing with HSP. Sometimes the boundary line between empaths and HSP need to be even stronger than other relationships, simply because of the tendency to trigger each other’s negative traits.
It’s important to clarify: ALL EMPATHS ARE HIGHLY SENSITIVE (HSE), but not all HSP are empaths. The difference is in the primary way of processing energy. An empath has the ability to literally feel what another person is feeling (sometimes it’s emotionally, or it shows up physically — you get a headache when someone walks in the room who a head ache — that sort of thing).
Empathic abilities are extrasensory in nature. While an HSP has a sensitive central nervous system, it ‘s not necessarily extrasensory perception. Someone who is HSP (not HSE), is extremely sensitive to the energy around them, but typically is not able to completely connect to what another is literally/actually feeling because their own reactive/sensitive nature is what they primarily experience. An HSP may be able to feel and recognize when another person is upset, but they can’t literally feel what the other is feeling. It’s not that specific. In other words, their own sensitives are what they are feeling, NOT ANOTHER PERSONS.
Before you assume you’re an empath, access your emotional reaction to the world around you, first. I personally feel some of the healing/thriving techniques for empaths are not only inappropriate for HSP, but will actually exacerbate their tendency to project.
Learn what you’re dealing with, then gather the information that will best help you move forward from there.
This week marks Chakra Center’s third birthday. And it got me thinking.
When I started this blog, I thought it was to help others. I had no idea it would be one of my greatest tools for helping myself. Through all the classes, articles, and intuitive readings I’ve done, I realize all along I was learning about me. I saw my shadows as well as my light. My poor boundaries (that I thought 8 years of therapy had cured me of) became glaringly obvious. My tendency to want to fix people made its thrilling debut. My inner critic, I discovered, was alive and well. Insecurities crept into nooks and crannies, and old fears reared their ugly heads.
But I also rediscovered parts of my heart I had long since buried. I was reminded of my endurance, realized my commitment to self-love and growth, and discovered how genuine my desire to help others thrive and feel empowered actually was. And I finally understood the saying “If you want to master something, teach.” Knowledge isn’t enough – it’s practice that makes perfect.
In the early days of blogging, I attracted a lot of wounded/broken people. I thought I could somehow fix or serve or help, but often I simply reinforced their desire to be rescued. And while I know some of them were inspired and encouraged – changed even, I ultimately felt unbalanced and wondered how I could possibly teach or talk about empowerment when I myself still felt completely drained by giving. I struggled finding my authentic voice, and felt, once again, like I was doing a great job creating an idea of what people wanted me to be, but still, deep down, remained unknown and unseen.
So I stopped blogging. I stopped teaching classes. I stopped doing readings. And I looked within. I began to consciously and consistently use the tools and techniques I was so good at teaching other people, but felt I didn’t need myself. I wrote only when I felt inspired, and I let myself feel everything that came up – which was mainly disappointment, self-loathing, and fear.
Despite my attempts to connect with others like me, I felt more alone than ever. A dark night of the soul, perhaps? An ego death? Both and neither are true. I think it was a cycle of reevaluation – we all go through it. So much of my life was spent trying to please others, that Chakra Center ended-up becoming just another extension of that same pattern – a pattern, ultimately, of self-denial. But it has been my greatest teacher, it has been the catalyst for immense growth, and I am proud of what it is, and what it is becoming.
I’m still learning about self-love. And I’m doing better. Slowly, but inevitably, I’m regaining my sense of self…finding my voice – learning, for the first time, really, that my needs matter. I no longer have to pretend I don’t have needs, or that they are small or insignificant. Because the truth is, I have a lot of needs – and they DO matter. I’m reminded of Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, watch over the heart, for it is the well-spring of life.”
Self-love allows the nourishment and energy we need from Creator to flow freely into our lives. Without Source energy, we have nothing to give and the only way to survive is to become a vampire, or a blood doll – getting the next fix from those who will drink, and tell us how amazing we taste. Co-dependency at its finest.
I’m not doing that anymore. I don’t need others to tell me I’m a good friend, a good listener, or a wise guide – I need friends who see me and love me right where I’m at – even when I’m empty and scared and have nothing to give. I finally love myself enough to let more friends like that in, and I’m lucky to say I have a few. I cherish them.
Despite my impatient tendencies, I realize I’ve been growing/changing/evolving all along. It’s easy to get down on myself when an old habit or relationship dynamic pops up. And because I am self-critical to a fault, (and on the lighter side, introspective) I’m always looking for areas I can improve, but often miss what beautiful miracles have already taken place (slowly, quietly…unnoticeably).
That’s what I want to talk about. The miracle of simply living and growing and allowing. The amazing strength it often takes just to get out of bed each morning and breathe in-and-out all day long. Being a human is no small task. It takes bravery. Courage. Power. And despite the dark side of empathic abilities, (the trauma, the setbacks, the potency of feeling everything to the extreme), I still chose to get up every day and live – however half-heartedly, and I’m proud of that.
I chose to drop the self-judgment and simply love myself – as best I can. And better still, I’m learning to allow the Universe to love me — to feed me with that nourishing life that sets my heart free. I chose to stop treating myself (and everyone around me) like problems to be fixed. There is nothing “wrong” with any of us. We’re just living and doing our best. God bless us for that.
I don’t want to fight the world any more. I don’t want to save or fix anyone. This reality works exactly as it is meant to: a training ground for growth and expansion – where we get to experience ourselves in every context imaginable. We see what we are and what we’re not. We test our strength and our ability to love. We observe how we respond to every sort of adversity. It’s intense. Sometimes ruthless. But it’s also full of incredible magic, waiting, as Yeats said, for our senses to grow sharper.
I simply want to LIVE and experience – allowing the best of me to come forth, and learning patience and forgiveness when the worst of me shows up. I want to share my journey with others, simply because I know how it feels to be alone (for an empath, there is no scarier place to be).
And we’re NOT alone. Let’s see each other – look each other in the eye, not with the disempowering message of “you need me, let me fix you,” but with the transformative power of “I see you. I feel you. You’re not alone.”
That is, after all, what empathy is all about.
I want to be THAT miracle.
How to Heal and Thrive as An Empath Online Class (3 part series)
Part 1: Understanding Empathic Abilities
*How childhood affects empathic abilities (and can lead to emotional issues as adults)
*What a healthy empath looks like/what it looks like out of balance
*The Dark Side of empaths (the stuff no one ever talks about)
-Extreme projection of fear and negativity based on unhealed issues
-Externalizing darkness/negativity as if it’s “out there” somewhere and does not exist within (aka
denial of shadow aspects, spiritual bypassing, repression, etc)
-Disempowerment (always needing to fix and help others)
-Religious or spiritual fundamentalism (the empathic trap)
Part 2: Healing Emotional Wounds/Acceptance/Surrender/Shadow Integration
*Begin the healing process by establishing a regular energetic hygiene routine
*Understand emotions and allow them to function properly
*Understand how and why you pick up negative/low energy and why “protection/shielding” doesn’t always work (and can sometimes make things worse)
Part 3: Tools to help you thrive
*Learn how to function better in crowded places
*Tips to regularly (and quickly) re-charge your energy
*How to keep your home/environment in a high vibration
*Intuitive eating and energy clearing (to avoid empathic weight gain)
*Herbal elixirs, crystals, and essential oils that help clear/uplift energy
*How to let go of the victim belief
*Accepting responsibility for your own vibration
*Not allowing emotions/energy to control you
All material/content is available through videos/audios to access at your own pace/convenience.
To register for this class complete purchase through the paypal button below:
(Please note: After purchase the content link will be emailed to you within 24 hours).
How to Heal and Thrive as An Empath 3 Part Series
Empaths often find it hard to keep their batteries charged. Work, social, and family obligations make it difficult to stay energetically amped up, and feeling the emotions around us more intensely than the average person makes it all the more crucial to stay in a powerful state. Operating on low energy levels is more likely to attract energy vampires and amplify our tendency to hide from social situations and personal relationships.
While frequent alone time and retreats are good (even crucial) for empaths, it’s not always practical with our busy schedules and obligations. Sometimes we need quick, go-to recharge methods that work fast and keep us in a healthy energetic state.
Here are 5 easy recharge methods that don’t take a lot of time and can help us feel continuously revived and in a state of self-empowerment:
1. Deep Breaths: Sometimes the simplest practices are the easiest to overlook. Our breath is the quickest and most accessible path to our power, and regular, deep breaths holds tremendous potential to restore and rejuvenate. Not only does the breath help relieve tension by calming our central nervous system, it also releases toxins, supports mental clarity, massages our organs, helps relieve emotional problems, provides pain anesthetic, assists in building muscle, improves posture, improves blood quality, aids in digestion, strengthens the lungs, makes the heart stronger, assists in metabolic function, and the list goes on.
When you’re feeling overwhelmed, drained, anxious, or overloaded with energy, pause for a moment to take some deep, life-cleansing breaths. I recommend beginning each morning with some quick breath work. I use the 8/8/8 method:
8 slow breathes in through the nose, out through the mouth, 8 in through the nose, out through the nose, followed by 8 breathes in-and-out through the mouth. With each breath, visualize all excess energy being removed from your energy body and auric field. This technique is extremely powerful, energizing, and stabilizing.
2. Epsom Salt Bath (magnesium): Studies have shown that magnesium and sulfate are both readily absorbed through the skin, making Epsom salt baths an easy and ideal way to restore the body’s energy through detoxification.
Magnesium plays a number of roles in the body, including regulating the activity of over 325 enzymes, reducing inflammation, helping muscle and nerve function, and acting to prevent artery hardening. Sulfates help improve the absorption of nutrients, flush toxins and help ease migraine headaches. I recommend Epsom salt baths as a regular energetic hygiene routine for empaths, not only for its numerous health benefits, but most especially for its ability to relieve stress and tension in the body. This is especially beneficial for clairsentients and those who tend to carry the emotional energy of others in their physical bodies.
3. Ground in nature: Nature is another overlooked, yet simple and quick energy booster. Numerous studies have proven the amazing healing benefits of nature, but we don’t need to be in some remote location in order to get the benefits. Simply taking off your shoes and placing bare feet on the grass (dirt, or rocks) for 5 min a day can do WONDERS for energetic health. Not only does the electromagnetic field of the earth clear and transmute negative energy and technology pollution, it also acts as an anti-inflammatory, calms the central nervous system, and frees the mind. Combine grounding with deep breathes. If you work in an office, try to go outside on work breaks and take your shoes off to connect, center, and recharge. Every empath I’ve worked with that does grounding as a daily practice reports incredible results to their ability to stay centered and charged throughout the day.
4. Write or talk out your emotions: Empaths process an astronomical amount of energy/emotions throughout the day. Often we don’t know what emotions/feelings are ours, and what we’re picking up from others. Allowing ourselves time to process and release feelings on a daily basis is an important way to keep emotions from being suppressed in our energetic bodies. I like to do an “energy dump” at the end of the day, and write down all that I’m feeling. It’s important not to judge our emotions, and we certainly don’t have to figure them out or “fix” them. Simply feel, validate, and release. Daily emotional processing is good energetic hygiene, and a crucial step to feeling empowered as an empath.
5. Still the mind (meditate): The amazing benefits of stillness for an empath cannot be overstated. It is important to constantly be poured out, so we can be recharged with new, life-sustaining energy. Think of yourself as a vessel that is always emptied, and always being re-filled. We are in a state of receptivity, and therefore, always being emptied. When we mediate (even just for 5 minutes a day) we still the mind and find our center. All of our power rests in our ability to be in the present moment, and in our experience of silence. In the silence, God speaks (as the say).
Because it’s easy as an empath to get lost in energy and in the emotional climate of those around us, it’s easy to forget the present moment. When we’re anxious, worried, or fearful, we are not experiencing the present moment. Take time each day to still the mind and feel the eternalness of your whole being. You are not your emotions, feelings, or thoughts – and daily reminders of this is crucial for our sanity.
I hope these suggestions helped.
Have a fabulous Tuesday and remember you are loved.
If you’d like weekly tips on how to thrive and feel empowered as an empath, subscribe to Chakra Center (on the left).
To connect with other empaths for support and encouragement, join our “Empowering Empaths” Facebook group.
To learn more about empathic abilities (and how to thrive as an empath), check- out these 3 Kickass Online Classes for empaths!