How Are You Vibrationally Communicating to the Universe?

Empaths, Online Classes

This week I have a challenge for us.

We live in a vibrational universe, right? And we’re vibrational begins. And as empaths, we just happen to be chakra balancevibrational linguists. So what if we decided to improve, sharpen, and hone our vibrational skills with OURSELVES this week? The term “empath” automatically conjures up associations with others. But, riddle me this: what is an empath by themselves?

The problem with even using the term “empath” is that it is limiting. It also implies we’re somehow different than other people. And while of course, it might be true to an extent, it is not fundamentally true, because we all come from the same Source. Hence why we have vibration. Vibration is the “true” essence of all things, including us, and even what we call being “empathic” is just a specific expression of vibration.

What if this week we chose to start an intentional/conscious vibrational dialogue with ourselves at regular intervals throughout the day? Set the timer on your phone if you have to, and at least every two hours do a vibrtaional check-in.

Ask yourself:

*Where am I vibrationally?
*What kind of vibration am I swimming in right now?
*Does it feel good to me? Do I feel dominantly negative or positive?
*How can I adjust my vibration?
*Am I breathing deeply?
*Is my energy expanding out, or shrinking in?

frequency

This is basically a way to see how our vibrational conversation with the Universe is going. The Universe is responding AT ALL TIMES to our vibration, and matching it, so it would behoove us to check-in on the conversation. This is more of “feeling” conversation than it is a logical one. And it’s a great opportunity to use our keen sensitivities and linguistic skills to converse consciously with the Universe.

I shared this challenge in my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath online class. I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.

Happy Monday!

Advertisements

Empaths Forgot Their Power

Empaths

Empaths: Sensitive people whose primary mode of communication is vibrational – highly responsive to energy.

Conflict: Most have used this ability to hide or manipulate rather than feel and thrive. We call this “helping hurt-heartothers.”

When I first realized there was a name for what I was, I read as much as I could about what it meant, and was immediately discouraged.

The message?

You’re basically the most vulnerable person on the planet. Good luck with that. Don’t forget to “buckle up” with your “shield of protection.”

Great. So I’m sensitive (already been told that my entire life).

But perhaps the most nauseating part of it all was reading the many blog forums and online articles where empaths and Highly Sensitive People (HSP) glorified their terrible boundary issues and blood doll status as if it were a badge of service to the planet.

Ugh.

I can’t say this is true for everyone, or that how I’ve learned to thrive as an empath will work for everyone. All I know is the prescribed classic remedy of “shielding/protecting/coping” didn’t work for me. At all. And in fact, it made things worse.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

I’m no more special than anyone else because I’m sensitive. Nor am I more vulnerable or weak. People develop acute empathic abilities for all sorts of reasons: some are born that way, others learn to read people’s emotions as a means of survival due to abuse. Whatever the reason, being an empath is no more special than being good at playing instruments or sports. It’s just part of the human diversity.

I’m not trying to take away the importance or power of this gift, but I also don’t want to elevate it as a super human ability, and here’s why:

Many empaths have a deep, core sense of unworthiness, and while it is important that we learn to see our value, it is black and white flower and womanequally important not to believe that being ultra-sensitive makes us more special than others. This only breeds further isolation and elitism, which is counter intuitive, really, because the mere fact that we are extra sensitive to other people’s energy is a reminder that at a fundamental level, we are all one – we’re all connected. Deep healing, then, comes from harmonizing with that energy around us, not creating separation from it.

Second, when empaths set themselves apart from the rest of humanity as the “sensitive” ones of the planet, we typically end-up glorifying co-dependent relationships and unhealthy boundaries because we falsely believe that everyone’s happiness depends on us and we develop a sort of “helper” complex.

Or we take the shielding/protection advice and hide ourselves from the world, believing the only means of survival is to go into the psychic’s version of the “witness protection program.” We disengage from relationships and “normal” life and call it “coping with our sensitivities.”

These are two of the most common pitfalls many unskilled and unhealed empaths stumble into (and I was no exception). The problem is, helping or hiding from the world is not thriving.

Those who take the “helper/light worker” title often end-up further blurring the lines with unhealthy relationships, creating a sort of dependency on other’s needing them and identifying their ability to disempower others (by creating emotional dependency) as their empathic “gift.”

Allowing others to suck your energy dry is NOT what it means to be empathic.

You can’t make your life better (and you certainly can’t get empowered) by trying to make others happy. Making others’ happiness your primarily focus doesn’t make you a hero, it makes you a blood doll.

What to Avoid:

Don’t become an energetic food source for others. Not only is it unhealthy and unsustainable for you, it is the equivalent of energetic suicideenergy vampires. If you make others believe you’re the only one who can make them happy, heal them, or save them, you do them a diabolical disservice: you disempower them.

Hence the drama with empaths and narcissists since the beginning of time.

Reminders:

It is not your job to change the world (or others) and you couldn’t even if you tried.

The only person you can ever truly change is yourself. Self-mastery is the greatest gift you can give to others, because when you do it, the world sees it can be done. You become an inspiration. You make empowerment attainable.

The only reason you would choose to come into this world with highly sensitive vibrational abilities is to learn how to USE them, how to navigate with them, in order to facilitate your own self-evolution. When you evolve, you “upload” (in a manner of speaking) the codes for self-evolution/mastery into the human consciousness grid. When others see it can be done, they have more belief that they too, can have self-mastery. Running around trying to fix the world will only give you more people to fix (and will drain you of your power in the process).

The world doesn’t need to be fixed. This reality works exactly as it was created to. It gives us what we put out. It perfectly reflects “us” back to us. This is why it is so useful for our self-evolution. And this is why self-mastery is so crucial. The only way we will ever truly have enough power in the world to make a difference is through mastering our own lives, first.

This is not to say that loving others is not important. No doubt the planet could use more love. But altruism isn’t the same as dependency. In order for people to learn, they have to be free to walk their path. God loves us enough to give us that freedom, and it’s crucial we give it to others. When we do help, it should be because it feels good to do so, not because we need to be needed or because we feel obligated to do so. Even when Jesus healed he said “Your faith healed you.” The emphasis was always empowerment.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

The Problem:

We simply got lost. We forgot our true purpose is inner mastery. come alive2

Most of us focus our attention on the external world, feel too much, shut down, and that’s the end of it.

We tune-out how WE feel and make other people’s emotions our primary focus because we think that will make us feel better. Feeling other’s emotions and trying to ‘fix’ them seems much easier, because it’s less threatening. Our own emotions, quite frankly, scare the shit out of us.

Why? Because we’ve been told our entire lives that to feel too much is to be weak. And most of us have untold amounts of heartache, pain, and even abuse we’ve never looked at. Our sensitivities make us feel too vulnerable.

The problem is, focusing on others doesn’t actually make us feel better. Sure, it distracts us, but it doesn’t set us free. It doesn’t empower us, and it certainly doesn’t empower anyone else.

At best it gives us a temporary sense of worthiness by being “needed” or loved for what we can do for them – at worst it fuels co-dependent relationships that bleed us of our power. We’re left with nothing but emptiness. And that emptiness is too unbearable to feel, so we bury it, along with every other emotion that would indicate we are OFF COURSE, and go back to allowing others to feed on us. Being an energetic food source gives us a feeling of worth and purpose – for a moment, anyway – an empath’s equivalent to a drug fix.

After the effects of the ‘fix’ wears off, we feel weak and lonely. We may have a lot of “close friends” but we feel like they don’t know us at all – not our true selves anyway, because how could they? We’ve buried our true selves along with all of our emotions. We fixate on the external world and expend our energy to its never-ending need, giving what little power we have to a cycle that can NEVER give back to us. It’s unsustainable, and it’s energetically barbaric.

So what’s the solution?

Here’s what I’ve learned:

FEEL. FEEL. And FEEL!

The biggest mistake empaths make is to shut off their emotions.

But the ability to feel deeply IS our power. It is the power of humanity as a whole. When you allow yourself to feel the emotional healingemotional space WITHIN and communicate back to the world with your strong, finely tuned, highly sensitive capabilities, you create a sort of empathic dialogue with the energy around you and begin to learn what it means to create your own reality (or really, just line-up with a reality that is best suited for your growth and evolution). When you create a harmonic internal  realm, the external begins to harmonize around you. That is how you bring more peace and love to the world. This is true compassion. It starts within.

This is a vibrational Universe, after all, and emotions are the strongest vibrational indicators we’ve got at our disposal. When you look at it his way, emotions, and the ability to feel deeply, becomes our super power.

Don’t believe feeling deeply makes you weak. Vibrational sensitivity gives you the power to move anywhere on the grid you wish. It’s not a matter of brute strength and it certainly has nothing to do with “logic” – it is vibrational intelligence.

This is as simple as asking yourself (in any given moment) what feels good and what doesn’t. Then moving in the direction that feels most empowering. But you will never know what that is unless you TUNE-IN!

So how do you tune-in?

GO WITHIN. The universe within2

Go within. Allow yourself to FEEL where you are, without judgement or identification. Emotions are not YOU — they are simply your indicators. They help you know where you’re at so you can get to where you want to be.

Give yourself the sustaining, nurturing power of your own presence. Love yourself enough to be free from the emptiness of co-dependency.

Don’t allow the world to make you feel your emotional capacity is a weakness. Don’t believe the lie that being empathic is an acute form of vulnerability. And NEVER shut your heart down.

Feel.

Emotions are your greatest tool.

Use them.

Click here for online classes on empowering empaths.

Monday’s Magic: Soothing the Emotional Body

Aromatherapy, Empaths, The Heart Chakra, The Throat Chakra

A Daily Affirmation for Self-Soothing

I Am – Letting go of my self-concept

Today I see and validate that I Am – and that is more than enough. love energy3

I allow my emotions to flow like a powerful river and I thank them for being my allies in this experience in the physical.

I Am a powerful creator and I know my thoughts and emotions are creating the reality I see before me

Therefore I direct my focus inward – to the causal plane.

I embrace the tremendous power of the NOW and choose to bring 100% of my focus into the present moment.

In this moment I embrace and accept all that I feel, and I choose to direct my focus in flow of relief/validation/and self-love – in a way that gives to my emotional body a deep soothing comfort.

I acknowledge that my emotions are my superpower, and I choose to listen to their wise counsel, always bringing in the Wisdom of my Higher Self to help decide the best course of action for my moment.

This moment is eternal as I am eternal. There are no limitations and no time rush. I have time to feel how I feel and give myself what I need. There is space for me to bask in the delicious and soothing energy of self-care.

love energyI know that through this self-care, I will be more whole, more powerful, more creative, more authentic, more compassionate, and a wiser human.

By allowing myself to FEEL I am causing the expansion of the entire Universe – letting All that *is* be apart of my unique perspective.

It is an honor to be in this human body and feel my way through this existence. I am eternally grateful for this power that has been bestowed on me in this moment, and I choose to use it to the fullest potential of each and every *now* the Universe offers me.

I trust the Love of the Existence and receive in it the deepest parts of my soul, in all the places that have lost hope or feel fear. I allow unconditional LOVE to heal all of me, to be present with me in every moment with every emotion.

I will never abandonment myself again, but will do my best to show up and be present to my emotions, trusting in the wisdom of the Universe to guide me into Joy.

I give myself grace. I forgive everyone, everywhere, in all timelines, especially myself.

I receive the moment and all that it has to offer. I am free.

Monday’s Magic: The Power of Receiving Self-Care

Empaths, The Heart Chakra, The Throat Chakra

For the past 3 months I’ve been contemplating the energies of giving and receiving. Not just because these are the yinyangenergies of the sacral chakra (one of the most traumatized and blocked chakras for most people in our earth journey) but because really, if you pay attention, their essence is identical. Giving and receiving are really just different sides of the same coin — you can’t have one without the other. If we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we have nothing to give, and if we don’t give, we don’t have room to receive. It moves. The painful part of either side is when we stop the flow.

The Universe has been challenging me to receive more. Receive self-love, self-care, wisdom, guidance, and understanding of the opposites in my life (particularly the opposites that have brought the most pain).

Loosing my mother was one of them — probably the most painful trauma of my life. And it wasn’t just her death — it was all the trauma surrounding her death: watching cancer eat her alive, being left in the dark about what was *really* going on (I was only 12), having to move in with my dad (whom I didn’t really know), and worst of all, being molested by a family friend while this was all happening.

I’ve spent over 8 years in therapy just trying to process that trauma — which felt like one dramatic kick from the Universe all at once — and all aimed at my lower chakras (my ability to survive in this world).

Recently, my aunt died. She was my mom’s sister and the last of my mom’s entire family. She’s also basically filled the role of my mom since she my mother died, and while she never tried to replace her, she was there. She existed.

I thought I was prepared for her death. She was sick and we knew it was coming for awhile — but when it happened it felt like a finality I was not expecting. My Uncle (her brother) died a week before her, and that was it. All my mom’s family gone. It was not just an end to my aunt’s life, but it felt like an ending to everything about my mother.

All the houses we lived in when she was alive are torn down. Even the place she worked for 15 years is gone. It feels like the memory of her has been wiped off the face of the earth, and my aunt’s death was the final nail in the coffin.

And I was heart broken.

When my mom died I wasn’t allowed to grieve. I didn’t know how, and neither did anyone around me. All my siblings were in love energy3too much shock — too much grief. And my father’s way of coping was to act like nothing happened. He took me and my sister to a movie on the day of her death (Aladin), and while I know his heart was to get our minds off things, it felt to me like he was saying, “It’s just an ordinary day. We have to move on and keep living — there is no time for your feelings.” Something in me died that day.

On the day my aunt died a similar situation happened — a family baby shower was the same day, and due to certain circumstances the decision was made by family members to still have the shower. And while it was nobody’s fault and just the way the cards were dealt, I felt like, once again, the world around me was saying “you don’t get to grieve. just put on a smile and act like nothing happened.”

I couldn’t do it. Something within me rose up like a red hot flame — all the anger I have ever felt in my life — all the injustice of a world that doesn’t seem to leave any room for grief — every thing inside of me refused to let it happen again — refused to not allow the grief to matter. Everything in me was screaming inside: “NO! I GET TO GRIEVE! HOW I FEEL MATTERS…I REFUSE TO ABANDON MYSELF AGAIN!” And I didn’t go. I couldn’t go. I was in too much of an emotional trigger and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a baby shower with 30 people I didn’t know and pretend to be happy.

Inevitably people’s feelings got hurt. But I was past the point of no return. I was in too much of my own trigger/pain to care. I still don’t have the ability to put any energy toward that — though I logically care about people’s feelings, I have NO emotional validation to give. And to be honest, I’m proud of myself. I feel that if I would have swallowed my feelings and went, I would have re-triggered one of the most painful experiences in my life — I would have abandoned my emotions and given-in to the external world, agreeing with the message that how I feel doesn’t matter.

Something has shifted in me since I made that decision. Not only did I show up for myself and give myself what I needed, I have fiercely protected and defended it — I have refused on EVERY level to feel guilty about my decision. I simply won’t do it. Guilt, after all, is the emotion that blocks the sacral chakra — affecting our ability to give and receive. I knew that if I allowed guilt to be apart of my experience, I would not be able to receive the healing needed.

And somewhere in that red hot flame of self-protection, I’ve learned how much the Universe loves me. I decided to take my own advice and ask myself every day — every 5 minutes, really, how I feel and what I need. And the answer has been space. So I’ve given it to myself. I’ve spent nearly 3 weeks in almost total isolation (minus the occasional talk with a friend or family member).

In this time, I have received more healing, more love, more understanding, more comfort, and more inner-strength than I quantum-energy-healingEVER have in my entire life. And although from the outside it may seem like I’m avoiding people, not being there for others who are grieving, what I’m really doing is embracing all the inner needs and depths of my trauma I have avoided up to this point (so that I will have something to give when the time is right). I am re-establishing trust with myself and beginning to really believe it when I say “I will never abandon you again.”

Thank God for the ability to receive. Thank God for self-care and self love. These past 3 weeks have restored me to a new level of inner-peace and strength — and it has given me the time and focus to heal a deeply buried wound.

So this must be what the tipping point feels like. I am here, where I feel like I can come out of my cocoon and give back — move all the energy I have received. I have drank deeply from the nourishment of God’s peace and comfort. And I’ve done so without guilt. That’s the best part of receiving — when we can do so FREELY.

It’s amazing, really, the way this hologram gives us continuous opportunities to heal old wounds by having similar circumstances occur again and again until we are finally able to receive the healing. But we can only receive healing by giving ourselves permission to do so — permission to matter.

I feel a new peace. My mother feels closer than ever — because I’ve finally allowed myself to receive her. I received her presence these past three weeks, and I’ve said goodbye to my aunt, more thankful than ever for what she was to me while she was here.

Thanks for loving and supporting me right where I am. Thanks for not putting me on pedestal and making me have to be anything I am not. And thank you for being honestly where YOU are. We all are where we are, and that is perfection.

This New Year, commit to giving yourself the gift of self-love. Receive ALL the Universe has for you in THIS moment, so you have something truly of substance to give back. Let 2015 be a year of truly giving and receiving all the gifts of Source.

Have a magical Monday!

Understanding Empathic Abilities

The Crown Chakra, Uncategorized

A few months ago I did a video on understanding empathic abilities. Since then I have received questions from people all over the world who are finally realizing they are empathic but unsure how to control it or what to do with it.

Any of you who who are reading this post probably understand that having extremely active empathic abilities can be emotionally overwhelming and even scary at times. Public places can feel like an emotional war zone and anxiety can become a daily struggle.

Many people who have powerful empathic abilities don’t have the empathy womanslightest clue what is happening to them. They just feel everything deeply, and it often seems as if their emotions are controlling them. How could they possibly know that this circus of emotions within them is in fact, a gift, and part of how they have chosen to heal humanity?

Often those with highly developed empathic abilities write themselves off as “emotional” at best, or psychologically unbalanced at worst.

The good news is, there are ways we can learn to control our empathic abilities and use them to our advantage.

To even begin to comprehend the seemingly endless well of emotions within us, we must learn to truly embrace and accept that our emotions are our greatest tool, our guidance system, our compass, and our best our friend. Emotions are not the enemy.

Now let’s get to work on understanding them:

1. Find out where the emotion is coming from

Each time you feel a strong negative or overwhelming emotion, ask yourself whether it belongs to you, or whether it is coming from someone else external from you. Your intuition will know. Listen to it.

2. Embrace the emotion (don’t bypass!)

If the emotion is in fact your own, try to embrace it. Allow yourself to empathy self soothing feel it fully, and tell yourself it is OK to feel. Imagine you are looking at the emotion from a higher perspective — almost as if you are outside of your body, viewing yourself and your emotions remotely. This will help give you some objectivity. Notice what you observe about yourself from this higher perspective.

3. Discover the core belief, validate it and sooth it

Ask yourself what the core belief of your emotion is (what thoughts are you thinking that are causing you to feel the negative emotion?). Feel where the emotion is inside your body (our bodies carry emotion in a very real and tangible way). Imagine your crown chakra opening-up and Source energy (unconditional love) pouring through your body, directly to the area where your emotion is stored. Allow the energy of Source to love and sooth you.

4. Shift your focus

After you’ve spent time validating and soothing your emotions, try to find thoughts that feel better than whatever thought it is that is causing the negative emotion. Finding any thought that makes you feel better (even if it is only slightly better) is a step in the right direction.

Change your focus. This is where a lot of people go wrong in their attempt at “positive thinking.” It’s not about ignoring how you feel, or trying to pile up a bunch of happy thoughts upon sad ones. It’s about recognizing the emotion, validating it, sending it love energy, and then shifting your focus away from it. Some emotions need more time than others to heal, but ultimately your goal is to validate and accept them with love and change your focus. Imagine the soothing energy you give the emotions literally transforming them into other things — new thoughts.

5. Transmute 

If you realize the negative emotion you have is not yours (but coming heartstone empathy from outside of you) this is when you transmute. Put up a beautiful white light around you, and imagine the emotion going through it and being transformed. This is where you become a true alchemist. Imagine the emotion (like sadness, for example) being transformed into joy, and then send it back out into the Universe.It is easier to do this when the feelings you are transmuting are not your own, because you  realize you have no attachment to it. You only need to recognize those emotions that are not yours in order to be free from them.

For me, the more I use visualization the better. When you are shielding, for example, use your imagination. What makes you feel the most joy, comfort, and peace? What colors do you want to surround yourself with? How would you like others to feel after their energy has been transmuted through your alchemy shield? Infuse your shield with all of your powerful intentions.

Because you are entangled with each person to whom you share emotions with, you will certainly feel the lifting of emotion when you transform emotional energy, whether it’s yours or not. When you send transmuted energy back into the Universe, the person whom the emotion came from will feel the difference — even if they don’t quite recognize what has occurred. This is how you heal. Your abilities are a gift.

6. Embrace your gift

Recognize that this is your gift to the world. It is the way you heal, and it is a beautiful gift indeed. Strong empathic abilities are not something to be feared, but rather embraced.

7. Shield (comfort)

If you are incredibly empathic and sensitive to other people’s emotions, it is a good idea to ALWAYS shield yourself before going out into public places.

Shielding does not need to come from a place of fear, but rather love. protectionLove for yourself and others. It is not about hiding from your gifts, it’s about learning to use them in a way that best serves humanity. Soothing yourself with white light helps you learn to see thought forms and emotions that “bounce” off your shield (or are transmuted through your shield) without your conscious thought. You can put this intention into your shield — the intention that the light will surround you with comfort and keep your love energy in a high vibrational state while transmuting negative energy.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything and yet continue to struggle with understanding and controlling your empathic abilities, it might be helpful to have a life activation intuitive reading from someone who knows about this kind of stuff. The sooner you recognize this is your gift and learn to use it, the more free you will become. There are many incredible healers and intuitive workers out there who can help you. Don’t be afraid to reach out for support.

Much love!

Amanda

Here is the original video I did on Understanding Empathic Abilities: