Self-Forgiveness: Proper Atonement

Quantum Empowerment


Young woman in a wheat fieldMany of us struggle with the concept of forgiveness.  Forgiveness seems pointless, permissive, and often times can feel like a betrayal of the self.  However, when we struggle to forgive others, it’s usually not because the other party must be punished, nor is it usually because the anger and resentment is such a powerful tool we use to motivate ourselves so we can “show them.”  Quite the contrary; when we struggle to forgive others, it’s most commonly indicative of our underlying inability to forgive ourselves for our transgressions against others and ourselves.

How Do We Start Punishing Ourselves?

When we engage in behavior that goes against our alignment, we are programmed to self-loathe.  Do you remember being a child and being called ”bad” for something you weren’t supposed to do?  Do you remember being expected to do exactly as you were told, and if not, then you were the “problem child?”  Our childhoods are wrought with structures and social norms to make us belittle ourselves in an effort to be humble and to disregard the maintenance of our present self.

This doesn’t make our parents or caretakers bad people.  It just means they weren’t the human conceptualization of perfect, and that is okay.  What we need to realize is some of our belief systems or behavior processes simply aren’t useful for having the best life, nor creating the best world.

What Happens When We Don’t Forgive Ourselves?

This is perhaps the most important question to ask because if you are like I was, you might be thinking, “Well, it only hurts me if I don’t forgive myself.   Besides, it really doesn’t hurt if I just don’t think about
it.”  I used to fully believe that punishing myself for the things I wasn’t proud of was the best way to keep myself on track and to never again do those things.  Let’s take a look at what is really going on though when we go through this punishment type of atonement.

If you want to live a happy, fulfilled life but you are engaging in behaviors and feelings of unforgiveness, you begin offering a contradictory vibration to the universe.  Your conscious vibration might be a layer of happiness, contentment, and even excitement depending on your situation.  However, there is an underlying, subconscious vibration of underserving, self-loathing, self-doubt, and self-depreciation.

Magician's tricks


These feelings create a lower frequency cumulative wave that goes out to the universe as your manifestation order from the Universal creative menu.  What ends up coming to your life table either turns out to not be what you ordered or comes back with a bug in it.  This not only affects your life, but also affects the world on both an energetic and physical level.

Everything in this world is made of energetic and matter components (more on this in my next article).  Because we are biological energetic transmitters and channels, our energetic outputs affect our environments and the entire universe.  Once we manifest those energetic outputs into our physical space, we’ve created an energetic contract for that experience.  It doesn’t mean you can’t change your mind, but what you’ve done is created the physical, sensorial experience you didn’t want.

Keep in mind, this can manifest in a number of ways, including: manifesting the situation you were fearful of, manifesting the right opportunity at the wrong time, manifesting almost the experience you wanted but it’s just not quite there, or even manifesting the experience you wanted and then engaging in self-sabotaging behavior.  There are other scenarios, of course, but these are the big ones.

As you can see, in order to live in alignment, joy, and fulfillment, it’s important to go through the process of self-forgiveness.

How Do We Start Forgiving Ourselves?

nature loveYou may be wondering, “What is the self-forgiveness process?  How can I overcome the years of programming, guilt, self-sabotage, suboptimal manifesting, and unhealthy emotional processing?”  Luckily, I’m going to tell you.

Forgiving yourself is an expression of self-love and self-acceptance.  That does not mean you accept or condone your behavior.  Instead, you are choosing to acknowledge and take responsibility for your “out of alignment” decisions.

In order to forgive yourself, you need to do the inner work which led you to the original decision to begin with; it is important to note that the “why” of things is not always important, but if you can notice your own patterns and triggers, then you can develop new healthy habits and ways of dealing with these instigative situations.

The next step is to realize the person you are in this moment, is not the person you were in the previous moment.   While your actions had consequences, you do not have to atone for those actions through self-loathing tactics of any kind.  Atonement is more effective when done through the acknowledgement of your out of alignment choice, integrating all of the lessons learned from that experience, and choosing to expand from that experience into a newer, more aligned version of yourself.

When you choose the path of self-forgiveness, you choose the path of expansion, self-worth, and empathy for the human experience.  We did not come here to be perfect, we came here to learn and come back into self-love after seeing ourselves through the veil of separateness and imperfection.

I will leave you with a quote of my belief about life and I hope it will inspire you to fully love and forgive yourself in every moment of every day.  ” I believe life is all about learning to unabashedly, unconditionally love yourself because when you love the creation and the infinite spark of Source, you are glorifying all of divinity.”

Fun Challenge

I want you to consider an area of your life, or specific experience, where you’re having a difficult time forgiving yourself.  You can either share that experience in the comments below, or choose to go through the process of forgiving yourself and share that experience.  We’d love to hear about your  experiences with self-forgiveness.

Much Love & Big Nonlocal Quantum Hugs

Written by: Positive PollyAnna

PollyAnna presents ways for people to come into their own power, how to powerfully manifest their reality, and how 60311_557636824833_1348393_nto balance their left and right brain so they can self-actualize, realizing their highest potential. Quantum Empowerment shares what it means to lead a quantumly empowered lifestyle. How are you affected by the energies, people, animals, and objects around you? How can you break victim mentality? How can you activate your DNA on a biological and energetic level? What are the ways you can expand your consciousness? This column covers a wide spectrum of information, all dedicated to helping people grow into their interdimensional, interconnected self and reality.

To find out more about Positive Pollyanna, her work and her services, check-out the following links:


Ever Onward: The Question of Cravings

Ever Onward

When desire crosses a certain threshold, becoming more immediate, pulling you by the collar to demand your attention, it takes on new dimensions. When things like this happen, we need new words. Desires become cravings.

Cravings often present us with either a sense of conflict–something to battle against and overcome;- or guilt–we shamefully submit to something that we feel powerless to resist.


We can crave certain foods, relationships, the idea of what a certain lifestyle will provide us, and all sorts of experiences.

Cravings are visceral. Invariably, they imply a very physical component. We feel cravings in our bodies, though they often have roots in emotional longings. They remind us of the ebb and flow, and ultimate unity, of the physical and non-physical.

And the reminding doesn’t have to stop there. We can learn to utilize cravings as signposts, calling us to make distinctions around what is true and real for us.

The whole subject is near and dear to me at the time of this writing because I’ve been going through a cleansing fast and diet transition over the last couple of weeks (write what you know!) The experience got me thinking:

What are cravings exactly?

I concluded that cravings are the more pronounced or extreme aspects of our habits, and even beliefs.

Cravings are not necessarily addictions, however, addictions, by nature, necessarily contain cravings.

We’ve all heard the standard definition of addictions: you can tell you have one when it disrupts the other areas of your life. Addiction throws you into a great imbalance. So the first thing to determine is if your craving functions as part of a larger addiction.

According to Merriam-Webster a craving is: “an intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing.” This doesn’t necessarily convey a blanket “bad” connotation. The word “abnormal” probably comes closest. But we live in a world where great leaders, great love, great courage, are often abnormal.

Understanding that full blown addictions are a different topic, we’ll focus on a more benign and nuanced sitting-stillexploration of cravings by drilling it down this way: sitting with and getting into the message of your cravings  puts you in touch with an extremely personal, fundamental, and often challenging question.

If you start fighting a craving, and then turn your attention inward,  you’ll arrive at this question:

Do I really need to form a healthier habit, or am I fighting against something that is actually in my best interest?

In other words, what’s your better instinct? And what does a “healthier habit” even mean to you?

The question brings you smack up against the concern so many of us have in this age of information, which like anything can be a two-edged sword:

Do I listen to the advice of others (assuming they have qualified themselves), or myself?

In personal development and spiritual literature, we always hear that listening to your inner voice is the way to imagesgo…and it is, generally speaking. But there are a couple of kickers here.

First, you are not  an island, so sometimes the wisdom you need to hear comes through others.

Secondly, cravings can masquerade as, or morph, our innermost voice. Justification and excuses easily creep in. And this is where confronting cravings can be a spiritual exercise. It takes a degree of discipline and inner fine tuning to separate the wheat from the chaff.

And maybe, your craving is indeed of the positive, constructive variety–what others may scoff at as a futile obsession could be your call to greatness. History tells us that story again and again.

Confronting this inner reality brings you to a room inside yourself where you are called to sit quietly and discern what is in your highest good and the good of the all. And there’s one more kicker here. As many spiritual seekers know:

Things change.

Perhaps you turned a corner and overcame a habit, only to find out that after some time of living with the new habits, those too began to wear thin and reveal cracks. This is where we need to be easy on ourselves, remembering it’s an eternal adventure we’re on, and we’ll always be making new distinctions and evolving.


It’s all play.

We’re all just swinging across the monkey bars, making our way. Just keep swinging from one monkey bar to the next.

Keep going for what feels good and true and expansive and what you’re at peace with. The expression of that will grow, and yes, changes; you will be lead to constantly form new skin then shed it.

As for slicing through the lessons our cravings put us up against, there are a few things we can do. The first is something very familiar: practicing gratitude. The cravings, like emotions, are a communication signal, and therefore, contain a treasure of self-knowledge waiting there for you, if you choose to unlock it. That’s certainly grounds for a thank you!

Secondly: truly ask, what’s real, and what’s just your mind’s excuses? Commit in the beginning to delve into your craving’s message.

Related to that, a third action to take  is asking what this reveals about your current belief system, your assumptions, your personal and universal “rules.”

To consider the common scenario of  food cravings: it may not be so simple as to say “oh, I was craving something so my body must have needed it.”

It’s well known that parasites, yeasts, and all kinds of nasty stuff who use your warm body as a host feed off of certain sugars, bread products, processed foods, etc. Like any living organism, they’re designed to survive and thus affect your chemistry, making you think you want something, when it’s really for them. That’s why cleansing is a paramount first step in a diet change. archangel-michael-art

We can look to that as a metaphor: there are parasitic thought forms that “infest” us when we agree to certain beliefs or carry out business as usual for certain groups we may be a part of. So again, this is where we are called to strength, cleansing, a diligent personal path; being a spiritual warrior.

It’s something you must go alone.

Only you can determine how you have cleansed yourself, and what your desires and cravings mean. Some people feel that they can easily transcend the parasite question (physical or thought form), or that it’s too simplistic an argument.

Certainly, hearing such an idea and then worrying about being controlled by something outside of yourself just creates more fear, and trading one fear for another is probably not what you want.

To continue with the subject of food (literally and as a metaphor), some say they or others can eat any kind of food and transmute the content. Or that while food may help a lot, consciousness trumps it. There are certainly tuned-in people who eat fast food, as well as miserable people with pristine diets.

All of it brings us back to this: we are extremely dynamic and quantum beings. While the simplest answers may be the most useful, and the fundamentals of love and presence remain as our alpha and omega, our navigation of this life brings with it mysteries and complexities.

My own explorations of cravings left me both edified and humbled, helping_handsreminding me again how individuals make choices for reasons I can never sit in judgement of.

Let’s all commit to our own presence and learning as we attempt to handle the forces that influence us, offer help to those who seek it from us, and be gentle and forgiving to ourselves and each other as we all make our way across the monkey bars.




Jared Domenico is, among other things, a musician, energy healer, and communicator. His Chakra Center column, Ever Onward, often utilizes topics that are atypical to spiritual seekers as springboards to discuss transmutation and growth, and to create re-framed perspectives, more understanding, and broadened points of reference., which started in Feb. 2013, is where you can find him online.