Is it possible to fully love ourselves and all the aspects that make up our whole? I would think so as anything is possible. But why do we make this act of supreme acceptance so hard? I’ve heard over and over again that it doesn’t have to be so hard. If we just stop resisting and allow all will fall into place, eventually. Well one of my aspects is impatient so we had to have a talk about this today.
Many in the spiritual community look at their ego like a potentially terminal illness that must be continuously watched and at the very best if it’s properly managed they can live a semi-normal life.
For a time, I was one of these people, constantly watching what I thought, what I did, what I said, ect. This gets old really fast, at least for me I felt like I was constantly judging myself which really seems counter productive in the long run.
As it seems to me, judgment is a tool of the ego itself. It uses past experiences to generate fear in order to steer us in the direction of less pain. This really isn’t a “bad” thing in all reality.
So we have a habit of trying to get outside of the ego by using the ego to manage the ego. Once I had this realization, I had a really good long laugh at myself.
The experience of going through this process was quite necessary to get to the point where I am now. I have many long conversations with my ego, as friends, as equals. Once I stopped trying to force my will on this scared little aspect of myself it stopped acting out as much, if at all. I realized I was acting like a tyrannical parent yelling about what I wanted and not taking the rest of myself into consideration at all. No wonder it had been acting out in ways I deemed unacceptable behavior. I had not shown it any love since I was a child.
When I was a child I played by myself all the time. I had conversations with myself and gave myself any attention I needed. I spent hours each day totally immersed in nature. I loved myself and took care of my emotional needs on a daily basis. It is at some point in our childhood that we develop our egos and this is a different time for everyone. It seems to be around the time when we are expected to “know better.”
As very young children, our exploration is simply brushed off as child’s play. Nobody looks at you funny because your in your room playing with toys having a full conversation with yourself. It’s just what little kids do.
But at some point in our childhoods we past some imaginary line in the sand when we’re supposed to know that kind of behavior is no longer acceptable.
Talking to yourself is considered strange. You have to go to school and nature time is drastically reduced. The inside world were so many of us immersed ourselves and felt safe becomes very far away, some fairy land.
The inner kingdom as I’ve very accurately heard it called, is a place where I believe we all dwelled as children. We were so uninhibited back then that we could even bring it out into 3D reality and play there for hours.
As an adult it has become my main goal to make this place my home. Just the realization that it is a real place that exists within me has been a huge step. I don’t need to go anywhere specific to feel at home anymore. I AM that place. Some have also referred to this as the universe within the heart. No matter the name, to me it’s still the same place.
How do we get there? Talk to your ego, mine just happens to be my child self. I can’t say this is the same for everyone, but on my journey the real obstacle was to stop repressing what I deemed as my ego. To integrate and love this essential piece of myself was the greatest stepping stone to where I wish to be that I ever could have given myself. Now there is no ego, there is only us.
The Saturday Post: Jamie Mortinson, self proclaimed renaissance women extraordinaire, tackles life with the same fortitude as her handicapped house duck. Together they fly through the realms of spirituality and self expression in almost every way possible. From organic gardening and duck farming to painting and crochet, no part of life’s “creation-fest” is off limits. Interior design, wild edible foods, reading, writing, cooking, self-sufficiency, photography, meditation, yoga and a general love of life encompass nearly all of her time. Those moments not promised to her passions are extended to her husband, and their celestial children: a dog, two cats, and lots of ducks and chickens. She resides in Wisconsin but her home is the world and all the people in it are her family.
Jamie is the Saturday Post girl, delivering you news/updates/and thoughts on spiritually via YouTube and the blogging world.