How Are You Vibrationally Communicating to the Universe?

This week I have a challenge for us.

We live in a vibrational universe, right? And we’re vibrational begins. And as empaths, we just happen to be vibrational linguists. So what if we decided to improve, sharpen, and hone our vibrational skills with OURSELVES this week? The term “empath” automatically conjures up associations with others. But, riddle me this: what is an empath by themselves?

The problem with even using the term “empath” is that it is limiting. It also implies we’re somehow different than other people. And while of course, it might be true to an extent, it is not fundamentally true, because we all come from the same Source. Hence why we have vibration. Vibration is the “true” essence of all things, including us, and even what we call being “empathic” is just a specific expression of vibration.

What if this week we chose to start an intentional/conscious vibrational dialogue with ourselves at regular intervals throughout the day? Set the timer on your phone if you have to, and at least every two hours do a vibrtaional check-in.

Ask yourself:

*Where am I vibrationally?
*What kind of vibration am I swimming in right now?
*Does it feel good to me? Do I feel dominantly negative or positive?
*How can I adjust my vibration?
*Am I breathing deeply?
*Is my energy expanding out, or shrinking in?

This is basically a way to see how our vibrational conversation with the Universe is going. The Universe is responding AT ALL TIMES to our vibration, and matching it, so it would behoove us to check-in on the conversation. This is more of “feeling” conversation than it is a logical one. And it’s a great opportunity to use our keen sensitivities and linguistic skills to converse consciously with the Universe.

I shared this challenge in my “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath“ online class. I’d love to hear how it goes for you, too.

Happy Monday!

3 Ways to Stay Balanced as an Empath

Empaths

To have true authority and empowerment in our lives, it’s crucial to balance our masculine and feminine energies. Many empaths and highly sensitive people allow their energies to get extremely out of balance, being controlled by emotions and not allowing our more masculine energies to provide boundaries/structure.

Masculine energy is crucial to balance – especially for empaths and highly sensitive people, (or anyone who comes from an abusive background).

Here are 3 Tips to help balance these energies:

Choose to take authority: A lot of us forget we have authority over our lives/actions/decisions. When we allow our emotions or sensitivities to control us, we often feel at the mercy of external forces, but being highly sensitive is not an excuse to be lazy about our energy. Once we realize our thoughts/feelings/and emotions are creating and influencing the way we experience this reality, the more crucial it becomes to own our power. Direct and conscious force of will comes from our masculine energy, and it’s important to use our masculine energy to provide balance, structure, and boundaries for our creative, powerful feminine energy. We have authority to choose what we allow ourselves to feel and focus on. We have authority to choose how we will respond to the world around us. Claim that authority.

Will peace and good things to flow into your life (don’t wait to FEEL them): So many of us (especially if we’ve been abused or are highly sensitive/empathic) grew up feeling as if we were at the mercy of everyone else’s will – like we had no will of our own. This alone is the root of most of our issues: our problem with co-dependency, our tendency to be led like sheep, allowing others to overpower us, and not seeing/allowing or acknowledging our strength to come forth. We have to choose to WILL things in our life, and not wait to feel like doing something – or wait to feel like we’re powerful. This is crucial if we are to truly be empowered. We can choose peace. We can will ourselves to be free from every whim of emotion. We can use our strength to WILL positive energies into our lives. When we make a firm decision to choose good things for us, our emotions/feelings will catch-up. Once we trust our will (or masculine energy) to choose what’s in our best interest, our more sensitive/creative side will learn to trust us and will be free to flow toward joy.

Use your words wisely and with intention: How we speak and feel about ourselves determines (to an astronomical proportion) whether we feel empowered and confident, or disempowered and weak. A lot of highly sensitive people (and empaths) refer to themselves in incredibly disempowering terms. Again, this typically stems from abuse, and we’ve learned to use our sensitivities/weakness as a way to get others to love us. Often, being “in need” or helpless, is the only way we experience the intimacy we so crave. We’ve had to learn this in order survive. But there comes a time when it no longer works. Eventually others tire of always having to rescue us, and we tire of being the weakest link. It’s time to take responsibility for our lives in every manor, and this includes how we speak about ourselves. Notice your self talk. Notice what you say after “I am” and how you describe yourself to others. If we continue to use words like “too sensitive” or “scared” or “overwhelmed” – we will never have freedom. Don’t use your sensitivities as an excuse to a victim.

Stepping into our power is stepping out of a victim vibration and into responsibility. We must do it with love and compassion, but do it, nonetheless. If we use our will and our authority over ourselves to demean, put down, and demonize our sensitivities, we will never be able to fully trust and ground into our strength – and our strength will never trust our emotional power. As long as we are at war with ourselves, our lives and relationships will continue to reflect the conflict.

Make peace with your masculine and feminine energy. See their mutual power and remember that one is always less without the other. Once we begin to trust our strength and our sensitivities, we will truly step into empowerment.

If you want to go deeper into learning about how to stay balanced/empowered/and healthy as an empath, check out the “How to Heal and Thrive as an Empath“ online class.

Monday’s Magic: The Power of Receiving Self-Care

Empaths, The Heart Chakra, The Throat Chakra

For the past 3 months I’ve been contemplating the energies of giving and receiving. Not just because these are the energies of the sacral chakra (one of the most traumatized and blocked chakras for most people in our earth journey) but because really, if you pay attention, their essence is identical. Giving and receiving are really just different sides of the same coin — you can’t have one without the other. If we don’t allow ourselves to receive, we have nothing to give, and if we don’t give, we don’t have room to receive. It moves. The painful part of either side is when we stop the flow.

The Universe has been challenging me to receive more. Receive self-love, self-care, wisdom, guidance, and understanding of the opposites in my life (particularly the opposites that have brought the most pain).

Loosing my mother was one of them — probably the most painful trauma of my life. And it wasn’t just her death — it was all the trauma surrounding her death: watching cancer eat her alive, being left in the dark about what was *really* going on (I was only 12), having to move in with my dad (whom I didn’t really know), and worst of all, being molested by a family friend while this was all happening.

I’ve spent over 8 years in therapy just trying to process that trauma — which felt like one dramatic kick from the Universe all at once — and all aimed at my lower chakras (my ability to survive in this world).

Recently, my aunt died. She was my mom’s sister and the last of my mom’s entire family. She’s also basically filled the role of my mom since she my mother died, and while she never tried to replace her, she was there. She existed.

I thought I was prepared for her death. She was sick and we knew it was coming for awhile — but when it happened it felt like a finality I was not expecting. My Uncle (her brother) died a week before her, and that was it. All my mom’s family gone. It was not just an end to my aunt’s life, but it felt like an ending to everything about my mother.

All the houses we lived in when she was alive are torn down. Even the place she worked for 15 years is gone. It feels like the memory of her has been wiped off the face of the earth, and my aunt’s death was the final nail in the coffin.

And I was heart broken.

When my mom died I wasn’t allowed to grieve. I didn’t know how, and neither did anyone around me. All my siblings were in too much shock — too much grief. And my father’s way of coping was to act like nothing happened. He took me and my sister to a movie on the day of her death (Aladin), and while I know his heart was to get our minds off things, it felt to me like he was saying, “It’s just an ordinary day. We have to move on and keep living — there is no time for your feelings.” Something in me died that day.

On the day my aunt died a similar situation happened — a family baby shower was the same day, and due to certain circumstances the decision was made by family members to still have the shower. And while it was nobody’s fault and just the way the cards were dealt, I felt like, once again, the world around me was saying “you don’t get to grieve. just put on a smile and act like nothing happened.”

I couldn’t do it. Something within me rose up like a red hot flame — all the anger I have ever felt in my life — all the injustice of a world that doesn’t seem to leave any room for grief — every thing inside of me refused to let it happen again — refused to not allow the grief to matter. Everything in me was screaming inside: “NO! I GET TO GRIEVE! HOW I FEEL MATTERS…I REFUSE TO ABANDON MYSELF AGAIN!” And I didn’t go. I couldn’t go. I was in too much of an emotional trigger and the last thing I wanted to do was go to a baby shower with 30 people I didn’t know and pretend to be happy.

Inevitably people’s feelings got hurt. But I was past the point of no return. I was in too much of my own trigger/pain to care. I still don’t have the ability to put any energy toward that — though I logically care about people’s feelings, I have NO emotional validation to give. And to be honest, I’m proud of myself. I feel that if I would have swallowed my feelings and went, I would have re-triggered one of the most painful experiences in my life — I would have abandoned my emotions and given-in to the external world, agreeing with the message that how I feel doesn’t matter.

Something has shifted in me since I made that decision. Not only did I show up for myself and give myself what I needed, I have fiercely protected and defended it — I have refused on EVERY level to feel guilty about my decision. I simply won’t do it. Guilt, after all, is the emotion that blocks the sacral chakra — affecting our ability to give and receive. I knew that if I allowed guilt to be apart of my experience, I would not be able to receive the healing needed.

And somewhere in that red hot flame of self-protection, I’ve learned how much the Universe loves me. I decided to take my own advice and ask myself every day — every 5 minutes, really, how I feel and what I need. And the answer has been space. So I’ve given it to myself. I’ve spent nearly 3 weeks in almost total isolation (minus the occasional talk with a friend or family member).

In this time, I have received more healing, more love, more understanding, more comfort, and more inner-strength than I EVER have in my entire life. And although from the outside it may seem like I’m avoiding people, not being there for others who are grieving, what I’m really doing is embracing all the inner needs and depths of my trauma I have avoided up to this point (so that I will have something to give when the time is right). I am re-establishing trust with myself and beginning to really believe it when I say “I will never abandon you again.”

Thank God for the ability to receive. Thank God for self-care and self love. These past 3 weeks have restored me to a new level of inner-peace and strength — and it has given me the time and focus to heal a deeply buried wound.

So this must be what the tipping point feels like. I am here, where I feel like I can come out of my cocoon and give back — move all the energy I have received. I have drank deeply from the nourishment of God’s peace and comfort. And I’ve done so without guilt. That’s the best part of receiving — when we can do so FREELY.

It’s amazing, really, the way this hologram gives us continuous opportunities to heal old wounds by having similar circumstances occur again and again until we are finally able to receive the healing. But we can only receive healing by giving ourselves permission to do so — permission to matter.

I feel a new peace. My mother feels closer than ever — because I’ve finally allowed myself to receive her. I received her presence these past three weeks, and I’ve said goodbye to my aunt, more thankful than ever for what she was to me while she was here.

Thanks for loving and supporting me right where I am. Thanks for not putting me on pedestal and making me have to be anything I am not. And thank you for being honestly where YOU are. We all are where we are, and that is perfection.

This New Year, commit to giving yourself the gift of self-love. Receive ALL the Universe has for you in THIS moment, so you have something truly of substance to give back. Let 2015 be a year of truly giving and receiving all the gifts of Source.

Have a magical Monday!

Wednesday’s Wondrous World: Perseverance

Columns, Wednesday’s Wondrous World

Perseverance is the difference between a fleeting notion and the pursuit of an idea. Our ability to persevere is another self-made wonder of the wondrous world.

Perseverance is not simply having an idea, it is moving forward in making the intangible idea into a tangible thing. It is a part of the means to the ends.

Dictionary.com defines perseverance thus:

noun

1.steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Perseverance is the course of action, the purpose – for example, choosing your own way. Making your own decisions and choices in regards to pursuing the destiny you most want to find.

I do not want to sit back and let my life just happen…I want to make it happen. I do not want others choosing for me…I want to make the choices. I do not want my emotions to be a result of the influences of the world around me…I want to choose how I will feel. I want, ultimately, to be content with my life, and happy with the choices I am making for it.

Yes, there will be bad days. You get doubtful, and frustrated when progress is not what you might desire it to be. But this is just a part of human nature. Even the happiest, most satisfied people in the world are not in that state absolutely all the time.

That is why you persevere. That is why you make the efforts you make, you strive for the journey and the ultimate goal. Ultimately, you want to be happy and satisfied, and that is worth striving for.

I look at the world in the way I have always wanted to. It is not a nightmare place filled with terrible people, tragedies and horrors…it is a world of endless possibilities, of good people, of possibilities and beauty and wonders. Yes, it is imperfect, yes there ARE all the bad things out there as well as the good, but I can see the world for all its positives more than its negatives.

Turning a blind eye to the adversities of the world? Wearing rose-colored glasses? NO. I see that there are horrid people and awful things in the world perfectly clearly. But I am not giving them my focus, not giving them my energies, not giving them my attentions and intentions. I am persevering instead to look at the good people and wonderful things in the world. And frankly, without those negatives, we would be incapable of seeing the positives.

I am persevering still. Are you?

(Note to the reader: If you also visit my blog, you will see that this week’s Pathwalking is a variation of this same post. I believe the topic of the self is so important, I wanted to spread it to a wider audience.)

I am MJ Blehart, “Wednesday’s Wondrous World” author and photographer (these shots are the progression of the hike up Camelback Mountain in Phoenix, Arizona). Every week I share a magical wonder of this amazing world, and I hope you will enjoy the journey with me!

Check out my blog, The Ramblings of a Titanium Don, for more of my work.

Also now available, Pathwalking: A 21st Century Philosophy in Book and Kindle form!

Wednesday’s Wondrous World: Living in the Now

Columns, Wednesday’s Wondrous World

Life is meant to be lived in the here and now.

One of the great wonders of our wondrous world is our ability to know past, present, and future. But it is the ability to live in the now that I want to explore today.

How do you live in the here and now?

If you cannot live in the past, or live for the future, but need to live in the here and now – and most people seem to not be capable of doing this – how is it done? Well, from my own experience, these are the things I have done/am doing/am working to do more regularly that let me live in the present.

Ask yourself questions. We ask a lot of questions daily, but how often do we ask ourselves important questions? Sure, we are constantly saying “How are you” and “What are you thinking” and “Are you feeling ok”, but how often do we ask that of ourselves? How am I? What am I thinking? Am I feeling ok? It is amazing how asking these simple questions we frequently pose to others can immediately bring us to the present moment.

We have become so concerned with appearing selfish, that we take selfless to the extreme, and truly become less of the self. This point is why, frankly, I drive at the incredible need to live more in the here-and-now than either past or future. There is no reason NOT to ask questions of ourselves, in order to be in the moment, in the here and now.

This can be a silent question – but I often find that if I ask it out loud, I am utterly drawn to the moment, to the present, in order to know the answer. The simplest questions of the self, in the moment, can help us live in the here and now.

Be aware of distractions. I find that I get distracted by outside influences and shiny things and my environment, which I know that everyone does from time to time. But if I am aware of them, I can take my focus AWAY from them, and return to the here-and-now, to be where I want to be and do what I intend to do.

Yes, sometimes we NEED distractions. I am not advocating avoiding distractions, nor ignoring them entirely – I am suggesting awareness of them.

Savor food and drink. No, really, this is VERY hard to do, in especial when you are on the internet or reading a book or even interacting with people while eating. This is a reason why many of us overeat or never feel fully satisfied by our sustenance. But really paying attention to what you are eating, and enjoying the texture and flavor puts you very much in the present. Also, really, you will be amazed how much better everything tastes.

It very much ties into being aware of distractions, but is still a separate idea.

Be more observant. How many times while you travel between points ‘a’ and ‘b’, whether you are driving or riding in a vehicle or walking, does everything between the points simply blur? How frequently can you visit a room and not notice the sounds within? How many times can you see a person, and have no means to describe their facial features, the color of their eyes, and so on? That is a lack of observation, and in our high-speed, disconnected society, we become less and less observant of things around us.

Sherlock Holmes may be been a fictional character, but the lesson one may take away from him was that he was the master of observation. He saw the most minute details of every person he encountered, and always astounded the uninitiated with what he could tell you about them. This was no super power, or other inexplicable capacity – it was extreme, detailed observation.

It doesn’t take that much to do this, really. If you start small, you will find that it gets easier to change your focus. For example, when you are driving somewhere, don’t just pay attention to the road and the speedometer and other cars on the road – see the sky, look at the trees and buildings lining the road. NOT, obviously, to the point of being distracted from driving – but so that you experience more from it.

Walking between places? Note the atmosphere around you. Listen to sounds, look at your surroundings, smell the air, feel breezes and changes in temperature on your skin, and so forth. Don’t let where you came from or where you are going to be your focus, be where you are NOW.

Asking yourself questions, awareness of distractions, enjoying sustenance and being more observant are just a few examples of ways to better place yourself in the present. There are other ways and means to do this, but these are, I think, relatively simple, and can be done by anyone, anytime, unassisted. And this ability is a real wonder of our wondrous world.

Did you ask of yourself today “How am I?”

(Note to the reader: If you also visit my blog, you will see that a previous Pathwalking is a variation of this same post. I believe the topic is so important, I wanted to spread it to a wider audience.)

I am MJ Blehart, philosopher and author of “Wednesday’s Wondrous World”. Every week I share a magical wonder of this amazing world, and I hope you will enjoy the journey with me!

Check out my blog, The Ramblings of a Titanium Don, for more of my work.

Also now available, Pathwalking: A 21st Century Philosophy in Book and Kindle form!

Wednesday’s Wondrous World: The Self

Columns, Wednesday’s Wondrous World

Truly an amazing wonder of our wondrous world is our knowledge of the self. But do you care for and love your self as you ought to?

In today’s society, we have become so focused on our jobs, our families, our friends, our coworkers, our education, our finances, our possessions, our weekends, and so on and so forth – that we have become utterly negligent of the self.

We have become indoctrinated in the idea that this is selfishness. Too much focus on the self leads automatically to selfishness, arrogance, greed, corruption…and as such we become uncaring, socially unacceptable creatures unfit to walk amongst the rest of humankind.

But this is a lie that prevents us from getting to know ourselves. We are taught from an early age to share, and to think about others, and to consider the feelings of those around us. I am not saying that this is a bad thing in any way – but what we neglect to explore is the connection between the self and the person we are sharing with, how we think about ourselves, and considering our own feelings.

I must iterate here that there is nothing wrong with selflessness – except when it involves the utter lack of attention and energy to the self. When all you do is give, and sacrifice, and disregard your own needs and desires, you create an immense imbalance in your own energies. Balance is utterly necessary in life.

We have become creatures of extremes. Society places tremendous attention and focus on the opposites: male versus female, Republican versus Democrat, heterosexual versus homosexual, rich versus poor, fat versus thin, and so forth. But life is very seldom defined by the extreme opposites; most is balanced somewhere in the middle.

When it comes to time on the self and time for others, we cannot neglect the self and have balance. But because we are so acutely aware of these opposite extremes, we forget that there is a line between self care and selfishness, and that we cannot ignore the one because of fear of the other.

Self care, self love, and self talk are NOT selfish. They are utterly necessary. If we neglect the self and sacrifice our wellbeing, our happiness, and our desires just to be selfless, we are only hurting ourselves.

Selfishness on the one hand, sacrifice on the other are the extremes in regards to the self. The question is – where is the middle? That would be Compromise.

It is surprisingly easy to mistake compromise for sacrifice. The difference with regards to the self is simple – compromise is striking a balance between giving OF, taking FOR and holding FOR the self; whereas sacrifice is unbalanced with giving FROM, holding NOTHING and taking FROM the self.

If you do not find balance in giving to and taking for the self, then you might find you really do not know who you are. And our ability to really KNOW our self is truly a wonder of our wondrous world.

How do you feel about yourself?

I am MJ Blehart, deep thinker and author of “Wednesday’s Wondrous World”. Every week I share a magical wonder of this amazing world, and I hope you will enjoy the journey with me!

Check out my blog, The Ramblings of a Titanium Don, for more of my work.

Also now available, Pathwalking: A 21st Century Philosophy in Book and Kindle form!